A Case Reopened [AN SVU Fan Fic]

Chapter Fifty-Five

Olivia couldn't sleep. She was exhausted, but she couldn't sleep. Getting out of the hospital was a huge change and she was having a hard time dealing with this change. She ended up getting dressed and going for a run and then came back home as Lou left their bedroom.

"Babe?" Lou questioned, as she ran her hand over her face.

"Hi," Olivia spoke. She slipped her shoes off before starting to stretch.

"What are you doing up? I don't really remember rolling over and seeing you in bed. Are you feeling okay?"

"Just can't sleep. I'm a little overwhelmed. A little scared of what might happen. I just want to feel normal again."

"How do you want to do that? I'll help." Lou spoke.

"I want to have a baby," Olivia spoke. She took the scrunchie from her hair and let her hair fall as she moved to the kitchen to get something to drink.

"A baby? Liv, you just got out of a mental hospital." Lou sighed.

"But it's my turn," Olivia replied quickly.

"Did you take your medicine this morning?" Lou asked, and Olivia nodded.

"Yeah, but you go straight to thinking I'm crazy. That I'm off my medicine. But missing one pill won't send me into a downward spiral. I have so much medication in my system that it would take weeks to completely go nuts again." Olivia spoke.

"I just don't think we should bring another baby into this family after you had a mental breakdown."

"Screw off, Louanne. Because I'm honestly not as crazy as you think I am! Yes, my feelings are random sometimes, but you drive me beyond nuts! Like I feel like maybe this was your plan all along. That you just wanted your two babies, my paychecks, and then have me locked up in a fucking hospital!" Olivia spat.

"I want to be with you, Olivia!" Lou exclaimed.

"Then why do you always treat me like shit?" Olivia breathed, as a tear slid down her cheek.

///

Elliot sat at his desk the day after Olivia got back from the hospital and he found himself staring at Olivia's desk. It wasn't empty and it looked like it did the day she went on paternity leave. He was wondering if she'd ever be sitting at that desk again or if she'd ever be chasing perps side by side with him once again.

"Stabler?" Cragen questioned, and Elliot turned and looked at his Captain.

"Yes?"

"Olivia just called me and asked if someone could go get her. She and Lou are fighting." Cragen sighed. Elliot frowned before standing.

"I'll go get her. Do you want me to bring her here?" Elliot asked, and Cragen nodded.

"Yeah. Just until she wants to go home." Cragen spoke.

"Let's just hope she talks to me or at least doesn't start rambling." Elliot sighed. He walked quietly from the squadroom and towards the elevator. He requested it before climbing in and taking it down.

By the time he hit the bottom floor, Olivia was calling him.

"Liv?"

"I'm not crazy! She always just treats me like shit. Like she wouldn't let me get pregnant because she wanted to get pregnant again! I can't have a baby because I just got out of the hospital and because then she'd have to work. She doesn't want to have to work so I don't get to have my dream of having a baby! Elliot, have you noticed this? How mean she is to me? How she is an absolute bitch to me?" Olivia cried.

"Yeah, I've noticed. And it kills me to not bring it up." Elliot spoke. Olivia swallowed hard from her side of the call.

"Don't get me yet. I'm going back to talk to her. I love you, Elliot. Thanks for making me feel more normal than anyone else has." Olivia spoke before quickly hanging up. Elliot was still going over to her house just in case anything happened.

///

Olivia stomped back into her house and stared at her wife who was still standing in the doorway in shock.

"Liv-"

"I was depressed. So fucking depressed. I lost my father, I lost my baby, I lost my mother, and then I lost my siblings. And then, in the middle of this all, I lost you and our kids. You refused to talk to me. It was as if you stopped loving me. And it's happened so many times before! You always kick me out and make me feel like the bad guy when in reality you seem to never be able to do anything wrong. Or at least in your mind, you can do nothing wrong. I love you, Lou, but I'm not happy with you. I'm not happy with how you treat me and how you seem to be able to throw me out and it doesn't change a thing in your life. We aren't partners. I really don't even know if you love me anymore. You love our children more than you have or could ever have loved me." Olivia spoke, as large hot tears ran down her flushed cheeks.

"Just let me explain." Lou breathed.

"What do you have to explain? We just aren't the same anymore. You aren't the same anymore. I'm not the same. We have both changed and you don't have enough love for me." Olivia breathed. Lou eyed her wife for a moment before biting her lip.

"We've been together for years, Liv. Please don't leave me now. I love you, and I always have! It's just so hard sometimes to deal with you and the kids! You thro-"

"I don't throw fits. You do. That's why I have lived in hotels many times because you throw fits and kick me out. And I've never had anyone on my side until I joined SVU. Your parents always take your side, and that's why your mother was keeping my calls from you!" Olivia spat.

Lou bit her lip before looking down.

"I'll be better. Livvie, I promise. Let's go to therapy and start figuring out our relationship. We need each other. The kids need us. And once we get to a better place you can get pregnant. You can experience it." Lou smiled. She was desperate because Olivia was the only one that was willing to stick around with her and her attitude and temper.

"Maybe now it's time for me to have some space. Maybe you should go stay in a hotel and clear your mind. Feel how I have felt many times over the years." Olivia whispered.

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