Choose You

Update One.

Today is December 1, 2019. So much has happened since I wrote those first chapters. I have continued growing myself and just becoming someone I want to be.

If you know your dates, you know that last week was Thanksgiving. I ended up going home for a few days and seeing some family. My mom turned out to be super supportive and she just asked questions that I felt comfortable answering. We have both come a long way from where we were even a few months ago. 

So, what has happened? Well, I did end up deciding to switch my major to undecided at USI. I will be taking core classes that I will most likely end up needing at any college for any degree that I might go into. I have decided that I would love to work with people who are disabled in any way, but with some more paperwork than what I am doing now since I like office supplies and organizing things. This led to the next big thing.

Since I won't be going to USI next year due to their lack of the major I am interested in, I have decided to go to an online school. This would allow me to live with Alex. Now, if you remember, Alex is in the Air Force. So, Alex and I are getting engaged over the Christmas break and getting married June 20, 2020! I will be put on his orders and moving in with him later on in the summer. I will continue college either online or at a college near the base where he is stationed. So far, my parents, Gaga, Papa, Merzi, and Harrison know about the wedding. We are still planning a lot of it, but we have quite a bit of the basic layout for the ceremony planned.

I never thought that there would be a happy ending for me. I never thought that my life could change so suddenly. But, I grew up. I found myself. I was courageous and I will continue to strive for what I want. I want my life in my hands. I want to marry my best friend even though we will only be nineteen years old. I want to help those who can't always help themselves because I know what it can feel like to be trapped in your own skin, to feel like your life is not yours. I know what it's like to have something or someone hold you back and I want to be a person that anyone - anyone including whoever is reading this - can come to with their troubles and know that I will read your texts, answer your calls (or voicemails if you leave one and are an unknown number), heck, I will write letters to you if you'd like (just saying I love using my wax seal so I'd be down for this idea). I want to be a shoulder open for the world to cry on because everyone needs a friend and I know how terrible it feels to not feel like anyone is there for you.

So, continue to grow yourself. Choose to be you. Choose who you want to be and what you want out of life. People aren't always going to like you. I broke up with my friend that was my best friend for 12 years and lost more fake friends because of it. They didn't like me and I used that to understand that I am better off without them. One of the snitched one me. I'd say about 5 of them unfollowed me all because they weren't loyal to me; they tolerated me because of my ex-friend. You have to decide to be strong and work on your life day in and day out. No one is going to choose your life for you forever. Sometime you are going to have to become an adult and understand your options and decide for yourself what you want and those who stick with you, those people are your family.