A/N: Woah, sorry for such a long chapter!
This is just the last chapter before a small hiatus that's all!
Anyway, I hope you like it!
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A snail is climbing up the windowsill
Into your room, after a night of rain.
You call me into see, and I explain
That it would be unkind to leave it there:
It might crawl to the floor; we must take care that no one squashes it.
You understand and carry it outside, with careful hand, to eat a daffodil.
I see, then, that a kind of faith prevails:
Your gentleness is mounded still by words
From me, who have trapped mice and shot wild birds.
From me, who drowned your puppies, who betrayed your closest relatives, and who purveyed
The harshest kind of truth to many another
But that is how things are: I am you mother,
And we are kind to snails.
Sometimes... when I think too much - I hate mother.
When I think too much, I realize that she was cruel by keeping up this fantasy... this facade to Lucas.
She had would have been the best one to tell Lucas about his illness. But no... she dumped that heavy responsibility on me. She had all the time in the world to tell him... I just don't understand why she didn't.
Sometimes - when I think to much, I think that she did it on purpose - forcing me to keep the secret - it's torture... it really is. She fed the fantasy that she loved Lucas... when in reality, I don't think she did.
I had always been the one left to Look after him because no one else would.
I laid beside Lucas as he slept. He was curled up slightly, hugging his silk yellow blanket but despite how close I was to him, he was cold. He didn't give of any warmth.
Lucas' blonde hair was messy... but in the case that a few stray hairs were out of place from his usual style. Lucas' hair had always been thick and coarse and in the mornings mother would always brush it until it was like silk. Lucas kept up the tradition whereas I didn't.
As he slept, Morning tears began to drip onto his cheeks as he yawned. The tears tainted his pink tinted cheeks.
The morning sunlight leaked into the house through the curtains. It caused me to sit up and watch the empty house flood with rays of light. Everything... every object, every drop of water from the tap in the bathroom I could hear to the sound of the wind washing up against the windows. Everything had been ruined by what happened last night.
Things felt disjointed... but close to feeling familiar. Like a puzzle piece that was so close to finishing the picture but it didn't fit. Like hitting the wrong piano key by the smallest inch... or as Lucas would say: 'Like rambling on about something and then immediately forgetting what you said'
I pushed myself out of bed, being careful not to disturb Lucas. I got to my feet and looked down at him sleeping peacefully. I thought he must have been pretty warm as he slept as he was wearing all of his clothes.
A wine red sweater, a white collar shirt underneath along with his denim shorts and knee high socks clothed his small body. The sleeves of his sweater cover his palms and his knee high socks were something that he wore most of the time - sometimes even to bed.
Tiredly, I let out a sigh and smiled to myself calmly. I pulled the cover off Lucas carefully before sliding the silk blanket out from his hands and laying it over him.
I drew the curtains and opened a few windows to let the fresh morning air in and to possibly cool down Lucas. Small drops of rain were left over from last night and as I looked out the window I noticed that the sky was grey and the foliage outside was shining with dew.
I looked to Lucas once again. He was peaceful.
As time passed, I lit the fire and tended to it as the sky began to clear up. I then boiled the kettle and lit the stove before preparing a special breakfast for Lucas.
As the smell of a freshly cooked omelet flooded the house, I kneeled on the floor beside the bed and gently began to wake Lucas up.
Carefully, I cupped his hand in mine and began to stroke his soft palm with my thumb.
"Lucas.... Wake up. I-I have a surprise for you." I whispered.
"Hm...mmhh." Lucas hummed as his nosed twitched a little. I giggled to myself.
"Please... I-I know I should let you sleep but I wanted to do something nice... Lucas?" I called.
All of a sudden, Lucas let out a panicked gasp before flinching up and shuffling back a little. He looked at me, his eyes full of shock before coving his mouth with his hands and looking down and the silk blanket on his lap. I assumed that he had a nightmare.
I sat up on the bed and gently put my hands to his wrists before gently taking his hands away.
"Sorry... I-It's just when ever you wake me y-you have something bad to say..." Lucas apologized as he fiddled with the silk blankets corner.
"Shh... it's okay. You don't need to apologize... I shouldn't have woken you." I replied, resting his hands in mine.
"I'm sure you had your reason." Lucas smiled tiredly.
Lucas rubbed his tired blue eyes as he smiled back.
"Hm? What... what's that smell?" Lucas asked.
"A surprise." I grinned as I got up. "It'll be ready by the time you get dressed."
Lucas nodded as he got up from bed. He kneeled down on the floor and shuffled over to a draw full of clothes. He retrieved a new white collared shirt and pair of knee high socks and a red and yellow striped shirt.
"I'll be right back!" Lucas beamed as he hugged his clothes to his chest and ran to the bathroom with a happy smile on his face.
After about five minutes, I noticed Lucas was leaning against the bathroom door, his expression had dropped from the last time I had seen him.
"What's wrong?" I asked as I set out two sets of utensils on the dining table.
"Nothing..." Lucas sighed.
"That's not true." I pointed out before walking over to him and taking his red sweater from him. Lucas looked down to the ground before sighing once again.
"My favorite sweater is covered in blood..." he frowned.
"Hey, hey... it's okay. We can wash it." I reassured. Lucas nodded.
I escorted him over to the the dinning table and pulled the chair out for him. Lucas smiled in thanks.
"Look, I don't want you to have a bad day today alright." I smiled as I leaned on the back of the wooden chair. "Now, close your eyes! Your surprise is ready!"
Lucas closed his bright eyes and I soon brought two plates of a freshly cooked omelet onto the table.
"It's your favorite!" I chorused happily. Lucas opened his eyes and his face lit up like a star.
"Claus! Y-You didn't have to!" Lucas beamed. "It... It was my turn to make breakfast!"
"I know." I said as I sat adjacent to him. "But I wanted to apologize for last night." I admitted.
"Apologize? You don't need to apologize!" Lucas exclaimed.
"I do..." I insisted.
The two of us ate breakfast happily - having small chats here and there. Then Lucas began to ask about last night.
"Um... I hate to bring this up in such a rude manor but... Claus, what happened last night - after you freed me?" Lucas asked as he pushed the knife and fork together.
"You ran straight to the bathroom. I thought you'd be fine but you must have passed out. When I ran to check on you, you were on the floor ; your medication scattered all over the place. I carried you to bed and bandaged up your cut." I explained. Lucas looked to his arm and once again, his expression dropped.
"Oh..." he sighed sadly.
