Denial - a Breddy fanfic

182.

It all went downhill again from there. Brett went from sleeping for days on end to staying up the whole night despite Eddy's best efforts to help him sleep at the right times.

Eddy didn't understand how Brett's mind worked. Every night he cried about not doing enough to deserve Eddy, but then he refused to touch him. It was as if he didn't understand how badly Eddy wanted that hug when he was tired.

"Please come back to bed, love," Eddy pleaded one night, watching him do the dishes they had left for tomorrow with shaky hands. Brett shook his head quietly, followed by a big yawn.

"I just... I gotta do this, Eddy, to... to..." Brett began, but didn't complete the sentence. He knew what Eddy would say if he continued, but it was wrong. Eddy was wrong.

Eddy sighed and walked over to him, sliding his arms around him from behind.
"Please, Brett. I miss cuddling with you," he whispered, closing his eyes. It felt like he was trying to move a mountain with his request.

"I... I would love that, Eddy, I would, but... but you don't mean that, do you? I mean, why would you even...? I've done nothing but screw up all day," Brett mumbled, continuing with the dishes. He didn't allow himself to be comforted by Eddy's arms around his waist, his chin on his shoulder and the light tickles of his hair against his neck. "I don't deserve that."

"Bretty mine, please. I promise, you don't have to do anything to earn me. Please." A tear ran down his cheek now. He had tried to be strong for Brett, he really had. It was exhausting, but he knew Brett couldn't help it.

Brett wiped off the last plate in silence, not knowing how to respond. All he knew was that he had to do this, that he couldn't let Eddy's warm embrace trick him into thinking it would be fine to head back to bed with him.
"You should go back to bed yourself, Eddy. You need the sleep."

"You need the sleep too, love. Please. If it's about me, I can... I can take the couch if you don't want to share the bed with me, if that's the problem, I mean... or... whatever you need to get some sleep. Anything, Brett, just please take care of yourself."

Brett froze for a moment.
"Wh... what? No, Eddy, no, it's not you. I... No!" he stuttered, turning around to face him, taking his face in his hands.
"Eddy, I swear to god, you've done nothing wrong. You're literally the life of my life, my reason to live right now, okay? You're my everything, and all I do is to be good enough for you."

Eddy couldn't hold his tears back anymore now, and a sob shook his frame.
"Then why are you still like this, Brett? Why do I not make you happy? I've tried everything I can think of, Brett, and nothing I do helps. I just... I don't know what to do anymore."

"I'm sorry," Brett mumbled, tilting his head down in shame. "I'm sorry, I really am. I... I don't know how... how to feel like I'm good enough, Eddy, how to not feel like I'm pulling you down."

"Please, Brett, all I need from you right now is that you come back to bed and sleep with me. We'll figure it out tomorrow, just... Please, just tonight, I swear I won't make you do anything else..." Eddy pleaded followed by a sob, trying to wipe his own tears. "Please."

Brett bit his lip hard. It was what Eddy wanted, it would be doing him a favour. It wouldn't be for himself, it would be for Eddy. Maybe it was fine if he did it for Eddy?
"Okay," he whispered shakily. "Let's go sleep then. I'm sorry for causing such a mess."