Serendipity

I'm not a fool

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘱𝘪𝘥?
𝘞𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘰𝘯𝘦'𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘦𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘨𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴?
𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦
𝘚𝘰 𝘪𝘧 𝘢 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘭 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘐 𝘢𝘮, 𝘸𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳?

This was it, I had to tell him, it's been a few months and so far nothing has gone wrong yet. We still keep in touch online but not as much in person because I'm always on the go. You know how school can get, especially with constant pressure. Over time it seems like my feelings grew and it was getting hard to contain. I know he has good intentions right? Even last month I finally told Natalie about my recent interest and let me tell you she was shocked. She was like, "You like a fuckboy? Who died in your life now?" I replied, "Haha very funny but I'm serious!" Later on, she became confident in both of us and I trust her. The only thing left for me to do was to go to him and tell him. Which was harder than I thought but I knew that if I didn't, then I wouldn't be able to survive this summer.

It was time to go to study hall in our homeroom class. Me and Jiro did not have the same homeroom but instead were right next to each other. After the bell rung, I could go up and stop him before he went home for the day. That was my plan and don't worry if you thought I didn't think this through long enough because I did think about it for the past couple of weeks. I was impatiently waiting with my heart pounding harder every minute that went by. You could probably assume that I was very nervous and you're right because I was, VERY much. Finally, after some time, The bell rung to go home and I dashed out the door and said "Hey!! Wait up!!"

Jiro: Oh hi! what are you doing here?
Kali: Oh well I wanted to talk to you for a minute
Jiro: ok what is it?
Kali: I just needed to tell you... How I feel
Jiro: keep going and make it quick. I have a bus to catch
Kali: I know we haven't been as close but I really enjoy the conversations we have and how funny you are... I guess the point is... I like you and I do mean it
Jiro: I'm sorry what? Do you like me?
Kali: yes
Jiro: What the hell are you talking about?
Kali: what?
Jiro: You have to be such a fool and idiot, in fact, to think I would like you that way. You are definitely not who I'm looking for. You honestly make me laugh.
Kali: well I'm sorry that I don't meet your standards
Jiro: You damn should be
Kali: Jiro, what happened to you?
Jiro: Nothing just get the fuck out of my sight

It was night time and the air seemed cooler than usual. Everything from its liveliness to its appearance slowly faded. I was just laying on the concrete floor in my darkroom. Silently crying as my heart was shattered. Something I never felt before or maybe I should have never. It almost feels stupid that I haven't experienced this earlier because if I did, I would have been smarter. Soon it got worse, Jiro on Instagram and Snapchat was practically harassing me with threatening text messages. All my friends were hitting me up asking what happened and I just did not answer. I probably should have told someone but I decided not to. I thought it wasn't that big of a deal for them to know. I didn't want them to be dragged into my personal problems. For a minute, I did believe him and I believed what he said about me. I learned that I took people's perceptions about me to heart. When it came to someone I loved, I took everything that they said and believed it. I regret scaring people but the thing I regret the most is myself. As I got more mature, I knew that this wasn't love.

A few days later I found out that I was moving once again. Very convenient I know. That's when I realized it was a new opportunity to build myself back up again. I knew that this was not my place. I always had a tendency to run away from my problems. That's what I've done before so why not do it now? It seemed like the perfect time. This give me time to focus on myself and transition to my new school. I just wanted to be somewhere new and not focus on love because that should've never been my priority. We moved in the summer in the month of July. To be honest, I did really miss my friends back at my old middle school but I think it was time for a new change in the environment. I used to text my friends a lot of the time but not as much anymore after summer since naturally, we grew apart. The only one that kept in touch the most was Natalie and it showed how much she really did care about me. After what happened with Jiro, she was the first person to reach out and try to help me. She even apologized for pressuring me into something like this and I only replied with,  "You're not the one to blame it was mine. I let myself get hurt without even thinking about the warning signs that were so obvious" The future looked bright for me but at the same time, I was back where I was with only dullness in my heart.