Contains adult contentBABY MAKIN'
"Don't know why I'm nervous," your chuckle gets stuck in your throat and you try to cover it up with a cough, your eyes still not able to reach Harry's. "Done this a million times, probably. But now..."
You distract yourself by finding a stray piece of thread on the hem of the oversized shirt you had bought on vacation years ago, rolling it between your thumb and forefinger while you listened to your heart pound in your chest. It was easy to hide under the veil of darkness within your room, the only light source coming from streetlamps through the curtains and small electronics scattered about."Hey," Harry says, tapping the underside of your chin with his fingertips. "Hey," he says again with more authority after you don't look at him. "Nothin' to be nervous about, yeah? It's just me."
It's just Harry. You look up at him, the same eyes you had found a home in greeting you with crinkles around the edges, a soft smile dancing around the corners of them. It's just Harry.
"Can lay down for a bit if you want. Maybe just breathe out the nerves or summat?" he suggests, cocking his head to the king-sized bed in the center of the room. "C'mon."You take his hand and allow yourself to be lead to the four-post bed you once thought to be too elaborate for the two of you. It wasn't like you to be nervous - especially around Harry. But the stakes were high, and if both of you did your jobs properly, your lives would change forever...
"Think we should start tryin' for a baby," he'd said as he drove the two of you home from dinner.
You paused, wondering whether his words were a statement or a question. You looked at him, the streetlights illuminating his face every five seconds, his jawline prominent and strong to match his concentrated gaze. It took you longer than it should have to respond, which made him nervous.
"It's just -" he began, placing both hands on the wheel and gripping the leather tightly. "You're so great with Ruby. Seein' ye' with her tonight - know she's only five so it's easy t' entertain her, but the way you handled the new baby and talkin' to Ruby? She loves you. Always has. I don't..." he trailed off, your quietness wavering his confidence.A very large part of him must've thought you were ready, otherwise he wouldn't have asked. But now that he'd said it and you were completely silent on the manner, he wanted to take everything back.
"We've been together for years now and I guess I jus' feel like it's the right time?" And then you heard it - the questioning rather than suggesting, the worry in his voice loud and clear underneath his words. "Got everythin' else. Got everythin' we could ever need. I jus' - I want a family with you. Can't imagine havin' one with anyone else."You weren't generally one for crying, but his confession made you tear up a bit. Years ago, had anyone told you that you'd be having a conversation such as this with Harry on the way home from dinner with the Winstons, you would've deemed them insane. It was no secret Harry wanted to be a dad - so much so that you wouldn't be with him had you not wanted children - but actually being on the precipice of starting a family made you a little misty around the eyes.
"Maybe not," he muttered, your reaction worrying him to the point of recanting his statement. "Not the right time..."
He glanced at you then, the broad smile on your face dissipating some of the fear in his eyes. His gaze flickered from yours to the road as you began to laugh, which in turn caused him to let out a few confused giggles."Can you -" he scoffed, shaking his head. "Can ye' say somethin', please? I don't know what you're thinkin'..."
"Of course I want to have a baby with you, Harry!" you playfully slapped a hand down on his bicep, squeezing gently as you continued to laugh. "How could you ever think that I wouldn't want to?"
"Well you weren't sayin' anything!" he bellowed as he rolled his eyes dramatically, his grip on the steering wheel lessening as the tension in his shoulders disappeared. "Almost felt like a right asshole, suggestin' you start carryin' my baby!"
"No," you shook your head, cupping your palm around his cheek. "Never. Of course I want a family with you. Of course, of course. Can start trying tonight, as far as I'm concerned."
And now, side-by-side, he holds your hand while the two of you settle next to one another in bed, the dim light from your alarm clocks casting shadows of blue and green against your skin. You turn to face one another, smiling in an unspoken agreement, your thumb rubbing across the small tattoo on his left hand.
He would be lying if he'd told you he weren't at least a little anxious, so he kept his mouth shut. You could tell by how long it took for his lungs to steady; how long it took for him to fit himself up against you, a task that normally took seconds turning into an awkward entanglement of elbows and a muttered sorry.
"Remember," you begin, swiping a bit of his hair behind his ear, "when you sent me all of those pink roses when we first started going together?"
"Yeah," Harry smirks, his dimple popping into his cheek. "You were so mad a'me.""You told your sister I put out on the first date and I most definitely did not!" you scoff, rolling your eyes. "And it was my first time meeting her! Don't need you goin' around claiming I'm some sort of trollop for Harry Styles!"
"I said I was kidding right afterwards!" he giggles, grasping your fist in his own. "She knows I was, especially considerin' I asked her what to do after you didn't return my calls," he kisses your knuckles, laughing after each peck to your skin. "She said 'Roses fix everything, and if they don't, then you really fucked up' or somethin' along those lines," he snickers again when he notices you squinting at him, your lips pursed.
"Your note fixed more than the roses did," you let out the slightest smirk, remembering his handwritten confession. It had been as open as Harry had been with you up until that point.
"Knew I was in love with ye' when you sent me the picture of you sitting in the middle of all those bouquets.""That's funny," you recall, scooching a bit closer to him. "I knew I was in love with you as I was sitting in the middle of all those bouquets."
He reaches around and pulls you closer to him, whispering, "You're so beautiful," into your hair, kissing the crook of your neck just below your jaw.
The two of you stay like this until your breathing matches his, your chin resting on the crown of his head as he runs his hand through your hair while he places soft, spongy kisses against the skin of your neck. It's just Harry, you repeat the mantra in your head, a silent chant that calms your nerves.It's just Harry, it's just Harry, it's just Harry.
You shift slightly, indicating that your apprehension had settled for the moment, a long sigh leaving your lips. He lazily rolls on top of you, his lips attached to yours in a fluid motion that indicates it's more than just a peck. You move your hands down the back of his spine as he swipes his tongue over your lower lip, your fingertips moving along with the muscles beneath his warm skin."Always smell so good," he mutters against your lips, and you snort unexpectedly, a giggle escaping your throat in a bubbly sound before you can stop it. "Wot?" he furrows his brow, lifting up on his forearms to get a better look at your face.
"Always smell so good," you repeat his words in a lower register, squeezing the fleshy skin on the underside of his biceps. "Such a Harry thing to say."
He fully frowns now, the semi-permanent wrinkle between his eyes more prominent than ever. "Well," he scoffs. "I'm Harry. So it'd make sense that I'd say somethin' like that," and you can tell he's fighting the urge to roll his eyes."You're right," your giggles continue as you rub up and down on his arms. If he expects an explanation, he's not likely to get one. "Sorry, sorry. Go on," you lift up to kiss him and gasp slightly when he pulls away from your mouth.
"Thought it was a nice thing t' say," he grunts, shifting above you. "Course 'm gonna say somethin' I would say. Want me t' go 'round sayin' you always smell a bit off?"