Mixed imagines

It's only air (Calum Hood x reader)

"Are you ok?" Calum had leaned closer to you as you both sat in the airport, waiting to board your plane. You could smell his aftershave as he got closer and the familiarity of the smell calmed you slightly.

"Hmm" You hummed in response, afraid to speak in case your voice portrayed just how scared your were. But you knew that Calum could tell; he always could.

"I really appreciate this you know" Calum said as he raised his eyebrows slightly, looking down at you. He noticed how you leaned closer to him, which wasn't unusual but he could tell why you needed to be so close to him now.

"I know" you smiled gently at Calum. "I know how excited you have been lately, knowing that you are getting to go home to see your family".

"Its just been so long since I have seen them" He smiled sadly as he looked across the airport. You gently grabbed his hand and rubbed your thumb across the top of it, slowly tracing one of the initial tattoos on his hand.

The act of holding Calum's hand had distracted you slightly from your own building panic, but as soon as the voice over the speaker announced that it was time for you to board the plane you felt that panic return.

It was now Calum's turn to sooth you by gently rubbing your hand. "Hey, look at me". He gently cupped your chin and brought your face up to meet his. "It'll be ok, promise".

You smiled at him as he held your gaze with his brown eyes, dark curls hanging messily on his forehead.

Slowly you both started to board the plane and you shakily allowed Calum to guide you. The feelings running through your body now were not strange to you, you had felt them all before which is why it scared you so much. You knew what those feelings eventually led to.

You had hated flying for as long as you could remember, and the fact that you frequently struggled with panic attacks didn't help either. Mainly because instead of your body just trying to relax and remain calm it worked itself up into a panic attack.

You knew that this was happening now.

Calum knew it too. That's why he tried everything he could now to keep you calm. Out of everybody, Calum was one of the few people who could actually calm you down after a panic attack. Normally you hated when anyone came near you when you were in the middle of a panic attack, you would always want them to be there but not invading your personal space. It was different with Calum however. When Calum was there you wanted him next to you. You wanted him to hold you closer to him, close enough to smell his aftershave and feel his nose pressing into your hair as he kissed the top of your head. You needed that feeling to ground you.

He knew that that was what he needed to do now. With one look he knew that you were about to have a panic attack. The way your knee bounced slightly as you sat in the plane seat. The way your chest rose and fell quicker than usual. The way your face paled slightly and you started tracing circles nervously into the fabric of your jeans.

Gently he grabbed your hand and pulled it into his lap, allowing your fingers to find the zip of his leather jacket and begin to fiddle with the small metal object. He watched you with soft brown eyes as you continued to stare at the tattoos on his hand while fidgeting with the zip. You tried to focus on the small letters inked into his skin as well as the other tattoo that was just peaking out of the sleeve of his jacket.

"It's only air, doll. It ain't gonna hurt you" Calum's voice was quiet and gentle as he brought his hand up to tuck a strand of y/hc hair behind your ear.

"Yeah but if we fall, what's at the bottom will". Your eyes remained fixed on his hands as you spoke.

You heard a chuckle fall from his lips and the sound helped to calm your pounding heart slightly. "Will you stop finding flaws in my argument, I'm trying to help you here". You felt his kind brown eyes on you and knew that he had his famous beaming smile slapped on his face.

Looking up, you couldn't help but stare at him. At that smile. Immediately you felt calmer; yes, the nerves were still there but you didn't feel like you were on the verge of a panic attack anymore. You didn't know how he managed to do that. How he instantaneously made you feel a thousand times calmer by just smiling or letting you inspect the tattoos adorning his body.

Over the years that had been one the many ways that he helped. Simply holding you while your fingers traced the dark lines covering his tanned skin. The letters on his hand or the bird on his arm, all the way up to the numerals on his chest.

You allowed yourself to smile up at him and forget about the fact that you were thousands of miles above ground.

For about twenty minutes you stayed like that, calm as you laid your head against his shoulder still holding his large hands in yours. A tremor through the plane however made you sit upright and eyes grow wide with panic.

You felt your heart rate quicken again and that familiar tightening feeling in your chest returned, making it extremely hard to breath. Your hands shook and your leg bounced aggressively in your seat. Tears prickled the edges of your eyes and your found it hard to swallow the lump in your throat.

Calum, immediately noticing your panic, grabbed your hands and placed them on the sleeve of his jacket, letting you focus on the cool fabric of the leather, while his other hand brought your face closer to him allowing you to rest one cheek against his chest. You felt his mouth press against your head before murmuring the words "I got you".

He held you like that for a while, alternating between saying things like "It's ok, just turbulence, happens all the time" or humming tunes quietly into your hair, loud enough for only the two of you to hear.

After about ten minutes you finally felt yourself relax slightly and you allowed Calum to engage you in conversation, taking your focus away from the plane and making you concentrate on what he was saying. Although you didn't find yourself close to having a full blown panic attack for the rest of the flight, you still found yourself worrying over what might happen. However, you had Calum distracting you from the worst of the fear with his bad jokes or goofy smile.