Duck Duck Noose

Patrick/Patty

I was half an hour early. Wonderful. I paced around the empty yard, waiting for everyone else to get there.

I hadn't been sure of the way I wanted to express myself, but I did know that I was feeling more like a female today. A very nervous female. I wasn't afraid of coming out, which was usually the reason I had to be nervous. I had told the other kids about being gender fluid a while ago. Taylor and I had come out at the same time, and the rest of them had accepted us both immediately.

I was born a male, but my features are very feminine. My hair is about shoulder length. On male days, I have a ponytail or a man bun. On female days, I let it down loose. Sometimes I braid the front. I wore a tank top and a skirt, just to exaggerate that I was Patty today, not Patrick. I was always Patrick around my dad. He was the type of man who called gay people faggots and things like that. I usually prefer not to talk about him. He practically disowned me after I came out. Finally, I just stayed male around him, and eventually he started to get comfortable around me again.

My mother was more understanding. She bought me boy's clothes and girl's clothes, and even neutral clothes for when I was at my dad's house. My sister says that she likes having both a brother and a sister but one sibling. She told me stories from her friend's houses where there are three kids in the house, and they fight constantly. I love my sister, and I try never to fight with her. She felt the same way about me. I hated having to leave her, but I felt it was for the best. I left her all of my clothes and makeup, as well as some of my other stuff. I wouldn't need it in the afterlife.

Finally, I saw Emma approaching in the distance. Kat wasn't far behind, moving from tree to tree like a squirrel. I wondered if she had made up with Emma like she had said she would. Then, I saw James coming around the corner. He was on his bike, with his hair perfectly combed. Classic James, I thought with a smile, recalling that he thought his hair was his only good feature. He was very wrong. He still is. He's quite a good looking guy, and he doesn't realize that half of the girls in our school have a crush on him. I don't, but he's such a chicken nugget that I couldn't help loving him like a brother.

Emma reached me first. She nodded in my direction, coming to stand to my right. She wasn't smiling. I guessed she was glad to finally be rid of her life. Kat dropped out of a tree and stayed on the ground long enough to say hello before climbing into another tree. She made herself comfortable on a branch and pulled out her notecard, I assumed to look over it. On mine, I had put my male name, my female name, and the stuff about my dad. I briefly wondered if Kat had put down everything about her family, but my attention was quickly taken when James hopped off his bike.

"Hi, Patty!" He called, walking over to give me a hug.

"Hey, James," I said, smiling. We started up an easy conversation, which Kat quickly joined after we coaxed her back down to the ground. Soon, we were all sitting in the grass, even Emma, who was listening. Soon, Taylor showed up, and then Caylie. As the others began to arrive, we formed a circle and talked and laughed for what would be the last time for all of us. Finally, Lia and Will pulled up in their car, completing our group except for Lacy.

"Where is she?" Demanded James. "She's late."

"Calm down, James, she said she might be," Lia reminded him.

"We've all been here waiting for almost twenty minutes," Taylor pointed out. Caylie started humming. I looked at Taylor, wondering if he was really going to tell Caylie about his feelings. Taylor and I had a sort of bond, as we were both queer. He had told me about his crush on Caylie, and often fantasized about what life could've been like if they started dating. I knew he was waiting for a time when they had a little bit of privacy to tell her.

I myself had a crush on one of my other friends, one who I knew I had no chance with at all. Tears welled in my eyes as I let myself think about them for the first time in a long time. She had committed suicide a year and a half ago. That was a comforting thought, that I would be seeing her again after all this time.

Suddenly, Kat shushed everyone. "I heard something," she said, her voice low. The silence that followed was eerie. It was broken by a stick snapping and leaves being ground under someone's boots. When it got loud enough that everyone heard it, we all turned and watched as a small girl emerged from the woods in the old, abandoned house's back yard.

"Why, hello," Lacy said. She grinned in her oddly maniacal way. "I hope you haven't been waiting too long."