WinterIron one shots

Pain in December

Word count: 1200

Summery: both tony and Bucky hate Christmas, maybe that's why Bucky knows there is something wrong when December comes around. ..

————

Christmas was always a hard time for Tony- especially since 1991. It even before that it was hard.

One of his earliest memory's was when he was only 4 years old. It was Christmas Eve- and he was sitting in front of the tv playing when he caught his parents in the hall way.

" I am not leaving him here - not now! Howard it's Christmas,"

" Maria- if we don't go we'll miss the opportunity...."

" and what about our son?" Her voice was laced with venom. Her eyes were full of annoyance for her husband, but threw the mirror in the corner of the room, she caught her sons curious gaze. Her expression softened a she gracefully walked over to the younge boy and scooped him up in her arms. She peppered his face with kisses, apologising- telling him that they would be leaving soon- but leaving him behind.

The young stark's eyes threatened to spill as he watched his mother and father busily rushing around the house gathering their things needed for their trip. He turned his attention to the large Christmas tree in the hall way- covered in lights and expensive decorations. His eyes never left the small package in the corner, it was wrapped in a brown paper bag and messily tapped shut. His mother said a final goodbye, kissing him again, hugging him tightly- telling him he was loved.

And all too soon both of his parents were walking out of the door, Howard didn't even look at him as he spoke angrily on the phone. Jarvis sat next to the young boy as he continued to stare at that one present.

" don't worry master tony- you can give the present to your mother when she returns."

———-

And Christmas didn't get any easier  as he grew up, in fact he got so bored of the whole celebration. He would spend the holidays locked away in his lab, and to his delight- his parents were never there to stop him, or nag at him to eat or sleep.

And then there was the accident.

December 16th 1991.

He remembered  getting the call, and the long agonising journey to the hospotal. He sat next to his mothers bedside, not quite believing she was.... that she was dead.

———

And then here was the whole ' Siberia bunker' situation. And let's face it - if it was just Howard that Bucky he killed , he would have shaken his hand- thanked him. But he killed his mother. And Rogers knew.

And his unofficial tradition continued. Tony stark was never meant to have a good Christmas -not even once. And he had excepted that a long time ago, he was used to being disappointed in life.

And then exactly 2 years after the betrayal -or 'civil war' as the media called it, tony was forced to take the rouges back - house them, feed them, and worse of all -live with them.

The team had known tony wasn't a huge fan of Christmas, but for the years he had spent with them, he had celebrated it - for them. Forced himself to forget the pain that this time of year brought him, and carried on as if everything was fine -normal. And it was a lie he told himself daily anyway.. no one had any reason to question it.

- - - -
Bucky had always loved Christmas as a chid.
Even though he had a small house, and not a lot of money, he loved the spirit everyone had. It made him smile, made him feel warmth, knowing that for a few weeks a year, money didn't really matter anymore, and love -family was enough for anyone to thrive.

Even though they didn't have a Christmas tree, or a traditional roast dinner, or fancy presents - they had each other. His sisters, his mother and father, and himself. It really was the happiest time of the year.

But when he was enlisted for the war, forced to go against his will- because  he was the only well man in the household, it ruined the celebration. It was that years that everything started changing for him- but he would have never dreamt of the consequences of war- especially for himself.

He hadn't celebrated Christmas for 70 years - but what did he expect, hydra were hardly going to allow him the day off and feed him a lovely roast with all the trimmings ... no- he didn't even realise what time of the year it was - and. The killing never stoped.

He preferred to be kept frozen- because then he wouldn't need to remember all the times his very own hands killed - murdered innocent people.

It was always worse at Christmas -especially when he escaped hydra and met with steve again.                                                                                                            

But he soon learnt that his hydra killings had Effected one man more than anyone he had known -

- - - -

The rouges were greeted by an angry looking Rhodes standing tall - thanks to the new leg brace  provided by a certain genius. Their welcoming was anything but welcoming. They had their rooms and floors, and their access was limited throughout the tower.

And no-one seemed to notice Tonys behaviour.

That was -apart from a certain metal armed super soldier.

He watched tony with caution, always expecting an attack -especially after the events in the bunker, but all he really wanted to do was apologise.

The only time he had any contact other stark was when he repaired his arm. Not many words were exchanged, only Tony asking if my thing hurt- which bucky would simply reply 'yes' or 'no'.

But as the days passsed, and December started, tony became quieter, and tended not to be around anyone for too long. And it seemed. That bucky was the only one who noticed it.

- - - -
"How's that frosty?" Tony asked as he patted his arm, now that he had finished its repairs.

"It's great, thank you. Tony." Tony only smiled slightly  and turned his attention to another project he was busy working on.. when he didn't hear bucky leave, he turned around to see him looking down. Feeling Tony's questioning  stare, he quietly said, " I'm sorry tony ... for everything-" and when Nothing else else was said -he continued.

"It's the 19th today...."

Silence was deafening- it really was -especially in that moment. Of course tony knew what day it was , how could he forget.

" I'm sorry tony -and I know I'm probably the  last person who you want to talk to, but ... do the Others even know?"

Tony shrugged his shoulders, turning away from the soldier. Bucky felt a pang of pain and guilt stab at his chest due to the action, but he knew that tony was hurting, he was the worst person he could talk to, but like he said, no one else noticed.

Tonys hands fiddled with the pries of metal in front of him, but he didn't really see what he was dong, he tears fogged his vision, but he refused to cry.

'Stark man are made form iron'

"I always hated Christmas,"

" so do i."