Do I Deserve Happiness?

Chapter 2- Confrontation Part 2

Celine moves her gaze to me, making me stand up straight. "You look terrible." She immediately insults me. "You're clearly here for something more than insulting me. What do you want?" I step over my vomit and clear my throat. She steps up to me. "I'm going to get straight to the point. Get an abortion." She shoves some money in my hands. It feels like she just punched me in the gut. "Wh-What?" I blink, my brain still trying to process what she just said. "You heard me." My heart thunders loudly in my ears, blood rushing to my head. "But you said you wanted a kid! What did I do wrong by getting pregnant?!" Fury takes over me. "I wasn't talking about you, dumbass!" Her shouts make me flinch back. "I was talking to John! I wanted to get pregnant with HIS kid!" That's who she was talking to that day!? "I...I thought you were talking to the doctor." My voice is a whisper. "No! You're such an idiot!" I drop my gaze to the floor, no longer able to keep my eyes on her. "I just wanted to make you happy." Tears sting the corners of my eyes. "Well you didn't! You were whiny, clingy, and annoying!" She grabs me by the shirt.

"You knew my issues, Celine! You told me you were ok with them!" I shut my eyes. "Did I? Well I changed my mind. A girl with abandonment issues, PTSD, and sever anxiety don't make me happy." Her voice is completely monotone. She really doesn't care. She shoves me backwards and I stumble to the floor. "Anyways, get rid of the baby." Why is she saying this? "No." I'm able to finally steel my nerves and tell her off. "Excuse me?" She frowns, her eyes darkening. "I said no! This is MY baby! Not yours! Not John's! But mine!" Where is this confidence coming from? Celine reaches towards me and grabs me by the hair roughly. I yelp in pain. "You used the sperm donor I chose for ME! That baby is not yours, Lydia!" Don't let her get to you. She yanks me forward and a tear slides down my cheek. "The sperm donor already signed the papers. He himself gave me permission to go ahead and do it." I'm emotionally hanging on by a thread at this point. Her face contorts with even more anger and she uses her free hand to slap me, but I'm so used to her hitting me I just brush it off. "Ha! That doesn't matter! You'll just come crawling back to me anyways!" I feel my face heat up from shame.

"All I'd say was sorry and just like that you'd forgive me." She snaps her fingers, letting go of my hair. "I'll admit though, the sex was great, but John is WAY better." The more she berates me the more humiliated I get, and right now my threshold for embarrassment has long passed its limit. I feel the confidence that I had drain away. "You chested on me, abused me physically and mentally, and manipulated me! And the only thing you have to say is how good the sex was?!" How Can she be so heartless? "Did our memories mean nothing to you?!" I'm starting to shake violently. "They were fun. I'll give you that." That's it? Just they were fun?! "I loved you!" I still do. "I was just dating you because you were desperate for any kind of affection from someone." I rub my sore head, trying not to burst out into tears. "You thought you were special because I saved you from being killed. News flash! You weren't." She admits to me. I stare at her at a loss for words. "You better get rid of that baby, Lydia. You won't be a good mother with all of your issues." She turns to leave the house.

"Let me ask you something then, Celine." This makes her stop and turn back around to face me. "When we met John after you found me in that cell, I never stood a chance did I?" Something sad glints her in eyes for a second, but it's gone as soon as I blink. "That's the sad part, Lydia. You did once." And with that she leaves the house, shutting the door behind her. She said she did give me a chance...What the hell changed? It's the one question she refuses to answer. I grit my teeth and sink to the floor out of exhaustion. "Is everything ok?" Maya peeks her head in. Every part of me aches as I shake my head. "Oh, sis." She helps me stand back up. I grip onto her for dear life. "She wants me to get an abortion." I spit the words out, bitterness lacing my voice. Maya gasps. "What the hell?! Who says that!?" She guides me back to my room. "Apparently her." I get into my bed and snuggle under the covers. "Don't listen to her." Maya fluffs up my pillows. "I'm keeping this baby whether she wants me to or not." I rub my belly softly. Although there's no bump yet I can feel the life growing inside me. "That's the spirit! I'll be here every step of the way." Her comfort threatens to make me cry again. "...I heard her say you wouldn't be a good mother. I just want you to know that's absolute bullshit." She cups my cheeks.

""When mom died and dad left us, you stepped in and took care of me without hesitation. That's proof you'll be the greatest mom ever." It's been so long since they've been gone I forgot I essentially was raising a kid already. "I love you, Maya." I pull her into my arms. "I love you too, sis." She hugs me back, resting her head in my chest. I don't need Celine to be happy...I'm going to try and get the help I need to be stable again...