It's been two weeks since my life fell apart, and though I'm still struggling with my mess of emotions, I'm slowly moving forward. When I'd received the papers from Spencer's lawyer only two days after I'd left our home, I knew he'd been doing more thinking about his decision than I had suspected. He'd evidently called it quits long before he'd finally let me on his decision.
That day had been hard, but today will be harder. Today I'll be going back for everything that's mine. I'll be packing up six years then putting them in storage, locking them away like so much hoarder's junk. I let out a sigh and then rub my temple, still fighting off the headache threatening to form there.
Aiden will be meeting me. He's promised to bring a friend, and though I'd rather it be just me and him, neither of us have a truck. His friend does. Besides, we might need the extra hands. I keep trying to convince myself with those words, the argument Aiden had given me to soften my stubborn pride.
When I finally pull up outside our ... Spencer's apartment, I shut off my engine and just stare at it a while. I had thought I might cry, seeing it again, but instead I just feel empty. Inside those walls are all the memories I'll spend my future trying to forget. When I hear a vehicle pull up behind me I let out a sigh of relief.
I get out of my car then turn to greet my brother. My heart thumps hard when I see it's not him. Spencer stands beside his car, staring back at me. He doesn't smile, doesn't frown, doesn't give any indication he feels anything at all. He just stares past me blankly, as if I'm not even here.
I turn away from him then lift my chin. I don't know what he's thinking, and I have no intentions on letting him know what I am either. I wait. When he finally leaves the street and steps onto the walk, he pauses and turns back to me.
"Are you coming in?"
I shake my head then meet his gaze. "I'll wait out here for Aiden."
He sighs and drops his head a little. "I told you I'd rent a truck for you. You didn't have to involve your brother."
"He offered because he cares about me."
His head jerks up and he meets my angry glare. "Christ, Willow, I still care."
"Like hell you do. Don't you dare stand there and try to fucking lie to me." My voice is rising with the heat of my anger. Bright spots of color bloom on Spencer's cheeks, as if I've slapped them both.
"Just because I'm being realistic doesn't mean I've stopped caring."
"Bullshit. If you really cared you would have been more supportive, would have understood. You would have honored your vows. But no, when things got hard you just said fuck it, I want something easier."
"Willow--"
"Don't you Willow me, you sorry bastard. I'm done listening to your excuses. You gave up, even after you promised me you never would. You're a liar, Spencer. You're a liar, and you're a coward." Tears are streaming down my face now, angry tears that burn nearly as hot as the rage inside my heart. I watch as he opens his mouth to say something. He closes it again just as quick then turns from me and walks to the apartment alone. He slams the door behind himself.
He's pissed and I couldn't care less. If he thought this was going to be easy, that I was just going to go quietly, then he'd been stupid too. I won't let him shift any of the guilt to me. This is not my fault, and I don't plan to let him forget it.
I roughly swipe the remainder of my tears off my face with the sleeve of my hoodie. A chill wind sweeps down from the cloudy sky, cooling my anger. I close my eyes and breathe it deep, letting it chill me from the inside too.
Soon another vehicle pulls up in front of mine, but I keep my eyes closed. I have no desire for any other surprises if that's not Aiden and his friend this time. When one door finally opens, followed by another, and then they both slam in unison, I have nearly tamped down my fury and feel more ready to open my eyes. I find my brother looking at Spencer's car, his brow furrowed, his eyes hooded in irritation.
"What's Spencer doing here?" he nearly growls.
"He lives here, Aiden," I remind him softly.
When he meets my eyes he stares a long moment then gives me a nearly imperceptible nod. He turns his head to look at his companion and I turn mine too. For a moment I think my eyes are lying to me, must be lying. But when my brother's friend steps up onto the walk and gives me a friendly smile, I know they're not ... much to my dismay.
"This is Nicholas Kingsley," my brother says as the familiar man steps forward and offers me his hand.
"Actually, it's just Nick. Only my parents call me Nicholas."
"I'm Willow," I say as I take his hand and offer him a warm smile. It isn't real of course, but he won't know that. I've been used to faking happiness nearly all my life. This is no different.
"It's nice to finally meet you, Willow. Aiden's told me a lot about you."
I look at my brother and lift a brow as Nick releases my hand.
"All good, I swear." He lifts his hands in the air and I let my smile broaden just a bit.
"And I call bullshit." Nick laughs and I shoot him an appreciative glance. Even if Aiden won't tell the truth, his friend just did.
"You ready to head inside?" Aiden asks, changing the subject. "Looks like you've been out here a while. You're face looks a little red there."
I simply nod my head and look to the apartment. He doesn't need to know the real reason why I look the way I do right now. I won't tell him, and I know Spencer won't either. That will just be another secret I'll sweep under the rug.
My brother flings a heavy arm over my shoulder then leads me forward. Nick falls in behind us. When we reach door I pause a moment, take a deep breath, then reach out and slowly turn the knob. This will be the last time I enter this place, the last time I look at the walls that used to say home to me. I bite the inside of my mouth to stave off any wayward tears. I won't cry, not in front of my brother, and definitely not in front of his friend.
I am strong. I am resilient. I can do this. And I will not cry.
I push the door open a final time to begin the last chapter of my ruined fairy tale. Spencer is silent as he watches us enter the living room. There are a pile of boxes already waiting by the door for us, as if he'd tried to lessen my time here by packing for me. Their presence galls me. I have no desire to make this quick and painless for him. Without acknowledging his presence, I cross to the boxes then open the first one. I can feel his eyes on me, no doubt wondering what in the hell I'm doing. I dig through the contents of the box, taking my time to inspect every single item he's tossed inside it. He let's out a harsh breath, but I ignore him.
"Hey, Aiden?" I call out over my shoulder.
"Yeah?"
"Did you bring a few spare boxes?"
"They're in the truck. Want me to go get them?"
I turn to my brother and give him a tight smile. "Yes, please."
"I'll go." I look over at Nick and notice how tense he seems to be. No doubt he's picked that up from the air in this room, like a nasty bug that's passed from me and my husband to a new carrier.
