Thank You for the Venom (Frerard/Ferard)

Chapter 9: Heaven Help Us

Gerard's P.O.V.

It's been three and a half weeks since that day.

Frank has been acting strange ever since then and it hurts a hell of a lot. Seeing the pain encased behind his eyes is ruining me, and that isn't something I'm proud to admit. My soul has been crushed with grief to the point of death, or maybe a mandatory loss of hope for any cause.

He normally looks so happy, I don't understand why he'd act in this way.

He hasn't spoken to me much over the past few weeks either, and I have no idea what could be bothering him. I wish he would tell me, but every time I ask he just shakes his head and brushes me off like dust. Why does my little Frankie look so sad?

It just has to be me, I'm certain. Whatever I've done I know I should be sorry for, but one simply cannot be sorry for something they're unaware of.

Sometimes I wish I knew what he's thinking, everything that's playing through his troubled mind.

I hate to see him so broken.

I hate how much it breaks me.

I'd do anything just to see him smile again, I absolutely adore that smile. I wish he could laugh with me just once more, but wishes have a tendency of not coming true.

Due to the fact I've known him for under two months, this probably sounds strange, but, he's changed. He's so much more quiet and melancholy, really. I'm so goddamn worried about him.

Whatever could be the problem? If only I were able to help. I just wish I could make him happy again. I'm only happy if he is. Let's be frank: he is my ray of light in every single way.

Frank's P.O.V.

"Frankie, what's bothering you? Whatever happened to your breathtaking smile?" He coos. I turn a dark shade of scarlet and my heart skips an unnecessary beat.

Gerard noticed the changes in my behaviour, and now he's asking me about it. I can't tell him what's been clouding my mind since I made the realisation that ultimately sculpts part of my future.

"Nothing." I reply all too bluntly and all too quickly. Ugh, it's so obvious that something is wrong now, but I suppose he already knew anyway, what is there for me to hide when it is uncovered?

"Please, Frankie, tell me. I want to help you. I-" Yet I cut Gerard off through my own selfishness.

"You can't. I can't tell you," I choke on my words, the dryness in my throat quickly becoming apparent. I know that telling him is the last thing I could possibly do. Too much rests upon his response; too much rests upon my choice of words. "Frank, you know can tell me anything, don't you? Then why are you keeping this from me? Do you not trust me?"

Gerard's eyes twitch slightly and gloss over, eyebrows furrowed in confusion and hurt. I know in that moment that he's going to cry, more so because of me, and yet I do nothing to prevent the diamond that slips down his cheek.

In all honesty, there aren't many people I do trust. Trust is something that humans give to one another far too easily and it is often stolen by the person they thought could care for it most.

However, Gerard seems to be the closest thing to trustworthy there is in my eyes. I'm not exactly sure if I do trust him or not, as much as I'd like to, but I don't want to hurt him either. "I do trust you," which surely isn't a lie if I'm still unsure, is it?

Relaxation flows through his body, sparks flying through him and me as a small half-smile creeps onto his face. "Good, that's fantastic. I'm so glad, Frankie. I'd never want that any other way, I hope you know that. I'm certain that I trust you."

Gerard steps forward then, wrapping his arms around my waist once more. My arms curl gently around his torso as he rests his head on top of mine. I hold my forehead against his chest and close my eyes, inhaling his scent. Coffee, cigarettes and what can only be described as 'Gerard'. It's beautiful, and ever so unique, something I know for certain I'll never be able to pick up from anybody else.

And for once, the embrace feels comfortable. It isn't something that was forced, but rather something we'd wordlessly agreed to as we captured one another in our grasp. It's us.

"Mmm, Frankie," He groans, clutching me tighter. I pause, transfixed before him. Oh, oh. And I feel like they shouldn't, but the noises make me feel things I've never known to experience before. It's completely new to me, yet something I'm quickly learning to crave. It's a good feeling, maybe too good, but isn't that what humans want most from their lives?

"G-Gee-"

"Gee? That's cute. You've never called me that before." I haven't? I thought for sure that I'd uttered the same words previously in my life, but one can never be completely certain, can they?

"I like it."

I giggle softly, a wave of happiness washing over me, and suddenly I'm stricken with the knowledge of the pace of my fall, but I know for certain that there's no way to stop myself now. I've lost my fear of falling.

I will be with you.

Stepping back, I hastily shake my head in annoyance. I can't be having thoughts such as that, they're simply unnecessary. I can't do this, I know I can't.

"I have to go, Gerard. There's something I need to do. I, uh, I'll see you later I guess." I rush out awkwardly, walking straight past Gerard.

I hear him call out my name from behind, but I've travelled too far to turn back now. I'm reluctant to move yet simultaneously desperate to do so, and I try and block out my thoughts altogether, moving my legs in turn.

I just have to walk away from it all.

Let us run from our problems, or heaven help us.