Open Letter

Insecurities

You see, life is not that easy. Lalo na yung sinasabi nilang love. The hardest form of love is the love for the self. Well, for me lang naman. You can oppose if you want. Think of this, how can you love fully kung sarili mo nga hindi mo kayang mahalin. It's just so sad how insecurity can ruin everything. The feeling of being insecure, parang you are deprived of every little opportunity that you crave for.

Let me tell you a story, well this is not so long so it will fit in this chapter.

There is this girl who used to be confident of everything about herself. Not until people started slapping her with harsh comments. "You are not even pretty." "If only you are whiter, you will be pretty." "If only you are taller...." She never argue. She just smiles. Pero sa totoo lang, they are slowly tearing her confidence apart. She have to pretend she still have it. But she is really wounded. Deeply wounded, teared and scarred. She still walks as if she was so proud of everything about her. But her soul is bowing her head down. Aware of every flaw she had and wants to just hide. She wanted to break down in tears and scream that she's tired but she can't. No one will care. No one will be there for her.

She had this long time crush. Her crush is very much aware of what she feels, in fact, almost everyone knows. Her crush talks to everyone but her, laughs to everyone but her, smiles to everyone but her. And she's broken again. She feels like she's the ugliest, or the meanest of all. But then she can't complain. No one will care, she's not pretty.

She soon found out that a pretty girl likes her crush too. She had to play dumb but she understand what they are talking about. They were her friends, or so she thinks. She had to play like she doesn't get all the hints. All of them supported her friend. Who will never? Her friend is pretty, kind and smart. Who will never like her? And then she was out of the picture.

It is always hard to live when you don't have a pretty face. So much things are deprived from you. Your feelings seemed to have no value. Everything is a joke about you. You crave for acceptance but it was very hard if you can't accept yourself. Paano mo nga naman tatanggapin ang sarili mo kung itinatak na nila sa utak mo na hindi ka katanggap-tanggap hindi ba? Nakakapagod pero you have to live with it and that is reality.