FINDING PEACE

Truth con't

"Where is that witch?" I scream as I enter my house. I see my in-laws sitter in my sitting room. I have not seen them since the year anniversary of my wife's "death" what were they doing here. I just look at them and pass go straight into my bedroom.

"You won't go to church with me and you have a shrine in our room?" She confronts me.

"I wish I wasn't such a gentleman. I would have slapped some sense into you." I tell her. "Are you out of your mind. Or you are going mad which is it?. U pretend to be dead for two years. Two whole freaking years and you jump back into life and tell me what I should do and should not do" I screamed at her.

"Your dying messed me up. Your family wasn't even there to help,and you know damn well that you and your family was all I got. You were all I had damn it" I tried to keep my tears in.

"I'm sorry Nana. I'm sorry. It was the devil" she said sobbing.

"Oh baby it was no devil. Unless you are the devil. Don't blame the devil for nothing." You left me thinking you were dead. And willed every property I put in your name to your family saying they needed it more." I said. "they took everything Anny. They took everything. All I had to remember you were our pictures. That was it. They took it all away. Don't say sorry" I say angrily.

"Nana, I promise I'll explain. Just calm down please." She tells me.

"Get out!" I tell her. "Please get out".

She leaves quietly in tears. I move to the alter and light incense and the offering plate. I offer a prayer and start to do the "ohm" chant. I start to feel better and find myself dozing off before the alter.

"Nana. Please get up from the floor" I hear a voice tell me.

I wake up to find Anny standing over me. I don't feel like hitting her anymore. I just want to talk and that she looks worse than she did when I last saw her. I get up and gesture her to sit on the bed.

"I'm ready to listen. Are u ready to talk?" I ask her.

She nods at me. I tell her to use words and not sign language because I didn't pay attention during school. And we both laugh a little.

"I love you. I loved you when we got married. I wanted it to be you and I forever I promise but he was so...."

".. He?" I stopped her right there. "Wait did you leave me for another man?" I asked

"I'm sorry Nana. I don't know what came over me. Please. I thought I loved him. He played with my head and I fell for it I'm sorry." She says

"Hmmmm. You I'm listening. Talk and let me listen." I tell her.

"I met him at work one day and we started talking. He became my friend. He had time for me. You were never around. It was always work, work. He gave me attention and showed me affection. He showed me love and I slowly started to see my feelings drift towards him. I tried to stop myself but I couldn't help it. Anytime I tried to get closer to you something had to come up or I'd pick a fight with you for little or no reason. Then I felt like I loved him, so I was going to ask for a divorce. He advised if I got a divorce I'd get nothing and that you owed me for all the years I was a wife to you and you weren't there. So we staged the accident. The money I willed to my family was given to me and I lived with him. When we moved in together, in the beginning things were perfect. But later on things started to change. He started chasing women and took to abusing me. I couldn't report because I was supposed to be dead. I stayed there and suffered till one day he was drunk and almost beat me to death. I ran home and explained what was going on. Mom and I went back at least to get some of the money and he threw me out with my mother. She later advised me to come back home. Since you loved me so much you'd take me back. I felt it was not fair to you but I thought about it and decided to take the chance. So here I am" she tells me

At this time I'm dumbfounded. I just get up and leave the room. Head for the bar and pot myself a drink. Head to the summer hut and start to smoke my pain away.

"Nana?, Nana?" I hear my name being shouted from the front of the house. I ignore. A few minutes later Anny is in front of me. "My mom and brothers want to leave." She tells me.

I get up from there pick my ash tray and my drink and head inside. She tries to call me again and I ignore her. I go inside, pass by them and head inside my room. After about half an hour she comes back into my room. And starts to undress. I excuse her and she looks at me like I insulted her. I went to the couch and continued what I was doing.
When she finished bathing she came to sit with me.

"Will u sleep here today too?" She asks me.

"Yes" I tell her.

"Can I sleep here too?" She asks

"Do what you want" I said and turned around to sleep.