*Flashback to April 1991*
It's been about three months now since Roger and I decided to end things between us - for good this time. I know that we decided to end things before, after he found out he was going to be a dad again, but somehow we kept seeing each other. Why? I don't really know. We just couldn't stay away from each other. Mind you, it was more than just the passionate sex, even though I admit that this was Always a huge part of us getting together. We clicked, in every way possible, and Roger was capable of fulfilling every fantasy I might ever had had. But we also spent time together just hanging in my flat, watching TV or talking about things. It felt good to be a part of his life, even though in reality of course I never was.
But shortly before his baby boy Rufus was born, I decided to end things for good. Yes, you read that right, it was my own decision. It did not feel right anymore, and I knew I did the right thing by breaking off all contact. We never made any promises to each other, and even though it broke my heart, deep down inside I knew it was the right decision. Sometimes, loving someone means setting them free as well. To be honest, until this day I can still feel the pain I felt back then when I saw him leaving my tiny flat. I felt physically sick because of it.
Walking down the streets of East London, I inhaled the cool, early morning air and thought back on the last time we were together....
"You do know I love you, right? " I looked into his ocean blue eyes when he spoke those words to me. We had just made love for the very last time, and we both knew it. "Yes Rog, I do. But this cannot continue like this, and we both know that". "I know" he nodded. "But it's hard letting you go".
A lot of tears were shedded that night, and we held each other close all through the night, before finally letting go of what we had. Doing the right thing doesn't necesarily mean you feel good about it. It takes time before you realise that what you did is the best you could possibly do......
As I did my grocery shopping that morning, my mind was drawn to the music that was playing in the background. It was a Bee Gees song. Normally not really my cup of tea, but the lyrics spoke to me, and before I knew, I felt the tears running down my face, in the middle of the supermarket .....
"Secret Love"
When do I cry
This breakin' heart
Just hurts me more
When we're apart
And there are two of us
With our secret love
Sleep pretty baby while you wait so long
Livin' with a love that's not just make believe
Lonely nights, I see your candle glow
And in my mind, I trace
Together we can take away
The time and the space
[Chorus:]
Baby when you got a secret love
Every little touch is not enough
Every little moment we're apart is pain to me
Maybe we can find some hideaway
Everybody knows but who can say
Secretly you know I'd follow
Anywhere to make it happen
Anyway you want me I'll be standing by
I don't wanna lose the one I hunger for
Naked eyes, they watch us everywhere
Nowhere to run, I cry
Everything to lose and no alibi
[Chorus]
Baby when you got a secret love
Nothin' you can do but rise above
Secretly you know I'd follow
Anywhere to make it happen
When do I cry
This breakin' heart
Just hurts me more
When we're apart
And there are two of us
With our secret love (together we can take away the time and the space)
*End of Flashback*
"Im sorry... but did I just hear that correct?" I looked at Roger with eyes wide open. "Are you telling me that Sarina is leaving YOU? And she doesn't even know I exist? How? I mean... I.. I just..." I stood up from the bed and started walking in circles in my hotel room. Roger looked at me and smiled wryly. "As much as I would like to give you credit for my recent fuck up in my personal life... yes, this is exactly what it is Anna... She has met someone else and she's decided this .... man...(he made a weird hand gesture when he said that) is more suitable for her and she wants to spend her life with him instead". He chuckled. "Figures, right?"
"I'm sorry to hear that Rog.. I truly am" I said, and I put my hand on his shoulder. He shook his head however and laughed at me "Oh, don't be ridiculous. It's better this way. Things have been quite complicated for a while... it wasn't meant to last anyway.....But!!!......" He suddenly exclaimed while standing up "... this means I'm a free man and able to do as I please... meaning...." and he stood up and with a smirk he placed his hands around my waist.
"Oh no you don't" I laughed, and I gently pushed my hand against his chest. "I'm more than just a quick getaway from your wife" I said, and I bopped his nose. "Soon to be ex-wife" he replied, and tried kissing me, but I turned away from him quickly. I heard him sigh with frustration.
"Roger Meddows Taylor" I started "Oh, how I hate it when you do this" he grunted "Well, don't make me do it then" I replied. "Rog... seriously.... you can't expect me to be just ready for you, only because your marriage is over. It does not work that way. I'm sorry. Yes, I still love you, I always have. And I probably always will. But, I don't think it's the right thing to do, just hop into another relationship just like that. Don't tell me you don't need some time to recover from things as well?" I looked at him. Roger sighed and after a few moments, he nodded. "Yes, yes, you are right. " He smiled "When did you become so wise?" I smiled back at him "I always have been, remember?" "True. Somehow you always have been the more sensible one. I feel like a right arse". "Just so you know it" I smiled.
"But... Anna... tell me, in all honesty.... is there a chance for us? I mean, for real this time? I am not talking about what happened between us before. I am not into that anymore. I am talking about a full, committed relationship" I saw the look of despair in his eyes, but also filled with love.
"Mmmmm... I dunno Taylor. Maybe there is. If you can manage to woo me" I chuckled. "Do I really need to?" He smirked "Hey! Watch yourself Mister!" I replied, but I could not hold in my laughter. I looked at the huge bouquet of roses standing in my hotel room. "The flowers are a good start. Lord knows what might happen if you continue that way" I winked. "Duly noted" Roger winked back. "Make sure you're ready in an hour. I'll be back then". And then he turned on his heels and left, leaving me with my mouth open wide.
A/N A short filler chapter guys!
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I'll Always be your drummer girl....
FanfictionAlmost three decades after Anna had a secret, yet passionate affair with Queen drummer Roger Taylor, both have moved on. Once in a while, even though Anna has made peace with her past, she still thinks about Roger, and wonders how he's been. Also, w...
