There is only so much pain
One person can carry.
The weight of the guilt, hurt, anger and hopelessness i feel,
is heavier than me.
5 years. 5 years, I've been anorexic.
Everyone says i'm strong.
Strong, resilient, brave..
It's funny really, because I've never felt more broken.
I feel, almost as if I'm trapped in a nightmare. Every time I go to sleep I pray that when I wake up I'll be in a different life with no recollection of all of this.
No one knows what to do with me.
It's always, "oh, she's anorexic" or "there's Ava, the anorexic", they don't see me as anything else.
Always sniggering behind my back,
muttering and pointing when i faint,
giggling when i cry,
whispering whenever i'm "out of earshot"
I'm a laughing stock.
I'm pathetic.
And everyone knows it.
I need to get out of this life..
But maybe just
One more day..
I'll just lose one more kilogram.
Just to be safe.
And then...
Then i'll do it.
I'll recover.
YOU ARE READING
Just One More - Troian Bellisario fanfic
Teen FictionAva is 17. She's been anorexic for 5 years and is beginning to think her life will forever revolve around calories, sums and numbers. She's scared, scared to go on. She desperately wants to recover, her dream is to go to university and study medici...
