Taehyung, 20 May YEAR 22
I looked down at my hands. There was blood on them. My legs suddenly lost their strength. I was going to crouch down but someone hugged me from behind. Through the windows, a misty sunlight was filtering through. Noona was crying and Hoseok was standing there without speaking. Dirty household goods and blankets were, like always, spread around. Where my father had stood, nobody was there. How he had fled the room, I could not remember.
The uncontainable anger and sadness that I felt as I rushed towards my father still remained. I did not know what it was that had allowed me to control myself as I charged to stab my father. I also did not know how to calm my turbulent heart. It wasn't that I wanted to kill my father – I wanted to kill myself. If I was just able to do it, I wanted to die right now. I didn't even have tears. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to kick and break everything, I wanted to break, but I couldn't do any of those things.
"Hyung. I'm sorry. I'm okay so. Go." In contrast to my turbulent heart, my voice was came out dry. It did not seem like my voice. I sent him away, though he was loathe to leave, and I looked down at my hands. Blood was seeping through the white bandage. Instead of stabbing my father, I had hit the floor with the liquor bottle. As the bottle shattered, my palm had ripped. As I closed my eyes, the world spinned. What I was supposed to think, what I was supposed to do, how I was supposed to live. As I came to my senses, I was looking down at Namjoon's phone number. Even in such a situation – no, more so because it was such a situation, I was desperate for his presence. I wanted to tell him. Hyung. I – my father, the father that bore me, the father that beat me up daily – I was about to kill him. I was seriously about to kill him. No, in actual fact, I killed him. I killed him countless times. In my heart, I killed him repeatedly. I wanted to kill him. I want to die. What I have to do now, I don't know at all. Hyung. I just want to see you now.
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HYYH : THE NOTES
Short StoryHYYH The Notes are short diary entries of BTS members included in LY albums. They basically narrate the storyline, and how they connect with each other. Disclaimer: These translations are not mine. I just want to share them with you. Credits to the...
