Five Seasons: N.Flying series [On-going]

PAGE 22 [KJH]

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Chapter 5 | the new bassist

GAEUL

I have been avoiding Jaekyung. I just couldn't spend time with her and talk about the topic that I've always dreaded. So, I was carrying bags of my newly bought supplies: pens, pencils, notebooks, sticky notes, notepads, some books that could help me. I had wanted to ask her to come with me today but I changed my mind.

The people waited impatiently by the pedestrian lanes for the light to turn green. I thought about last night. The first time in a long time that all of us ever hang out complete again. But how could Ahyoung talk to her boyfriend on the phone all those times?

It really annoyed me when I'm with someone but they would rather be on their phones unless it's something important otherwise, maybe everything else is just more important than my company.

That was one of the reasons we grew apart, I guess. Things got worse when Ahyoung started going out with Dongyeon. All she ever paid attention to was him. 24/7, they just had to be on the phone except when they were both busy. The rest of their free time, they spent on a conversation-less phone call. Maybe that's how dating is for most people.

I've dated once in high school. We didn't really spend all our time on the phone. Ah, Seo Dongsung. I wondered how that shit's doing after running off of me without a good bye.

First love. I wouldn't say he's my first love. I did like him, but rather than romantically, I enjoyed Dongsung's company back then. He was new in our school and aside from Dongyeon, he only ever spent his time appearing near me out of nowhere with his annoying lazy smile and when he asked me out, I wasn't completely comprehending the meaning of the situation.

He was the first boy who saw me that way. But I've liked someone else then. Someone who's been pining for someone else. So, I gave Dongsung and I a chance.

I used to think that holding hands and kissing someone for the first time would feel as romantic and magical as I've read in the books, but Dongsung and I probably did those things out of the fact that we should have been doing them because we were 'dating'. All I knew was that he was going through something at that time and maybe, just maybe, he used me as a distraction the same way I did to him.

I used to dream of a love that would know me inside out, that would see all the ugly sides of me that nobody wanted, not even myself and would still love me despite all the imperfections. That was not the case for my first relationship. Dongsung and I barely knew each other.

Now that I think about it, it was pretty crazy. When he left, people expected me to be heart broken, so I stopped hanging out with everyone that we both knew for a while. How was I supposed to tell everyone that my boyfriend vanishing out of nowhere, all of a sudden, brought no heartache to me but shock? How was I supposed to tell anyone that the first boy I held hands with, the first one I kissed-didn't once compare to the person who's had my heart for a long time?

But still, if I were him, I would have said good bye.

The light turned green. I stepped over the pedestrian lines, walking with calmness as I thought back to the "love" life I once had. And then a middle aged man in all suit attire bumped into me causing me to drop some of the bags. Things rolled out of them. I panicked.

"Sorry!" The man muttered, leaving me gaping at my things. I crouched down after glancing at the traffic light turning orange. I've got ten seconds. I cursed under my breath as I picked them up, and then suddenly, there were hands helping me, giving the things to me in a quick manner. Very helpful.