Forever || Namkook

21. Kiss me on the lips

It has started raining. Namjoon just noticed that. He was too busy passing off tissues to a very upset jungkook that he didn't notice the change in weather outside.

"Let's go inside", Namjoon says when they reach home. Jungkook just sniffles and shakes his head lightly. Namjoon sighs. Jungkook is a difficult person. He can be very stubborn when he wants to be.

"Do you wanna stay here for a while?", the older asks softly, wanting to touch the younger but refraining. Jungkook nods slightly, letting namjoon know that he indeed doesn't want to be in the restraints of the walls.

"Do you want me to-","No", jungkook blurts out before namjoon can finish his sentence. And it shouldn't hurt as much but it does. It fucking hurts. But namjoon knows that jungkook is more hurt and he wants to be alone. People deal with different situations in different ways.

"Okay, just don't go outside in the rain, yeah?", namjoon says, concerned. "I won't", jungkook whispers, and Namjoon takes that as his cue to leave even if he's sure jungkook will go out in the rain.

It shouldn't bother him but it does. Their house has large boundaries so Jungkook's safe doing whatever he wants but Namjoon doesn't want him to catch a cold. He had heard from Yugyeom about how whiny a sick jungkook can be.

Jungkook, not true to his words, unlocks the car door and steps outside in the rain. It's not as harsh as a few minutes before but the droplets are definitely heavy and piercing.

As the little heavy drops graze his soft skin, jungkook can't help but shed a few tears. He's not sobbing, definitely not crying. The tears just keep falling even though he feels empty inside.

When he looks up, he thinks the sky is crying with him, or maybe crying at his misery. He likes Namjoon. The man is amazing and he knows that men like him are difficult to find. Jungkook isn't ungrateful. He knows to appreciate the fact that out of all the men that he could've been tied to, he married Namjoon.

That doesn't change what his heart feels, though. Because as much as jungkook loves spending time with his husband, to see him smile, to hear him rant about things he never cared about, he knows it's not enough.

Mayhaps if the circumstances were different, jungkook would've loved having someone as amazing as his husband. But right now, feeling humiliated and insulted, he can't help but wish he had given up dancing.

Everyone thinks he is using Namjoon for financial reasons but no, that's not the case. It's actually Namjoon who's using jungkook to make himself look good. Jungkook laughs. Life is funny.

Jungkook knows namjoon never wanted to use him, never wanted to insult him. But he also knows that marrying him is the biggest humiliation in his life. He wants Namjoon, yearns his voice, his smile, his touch. But at the same time, he doesn't want to be tied up, doesn't want to be judged by people who never cared about him.

Jungkook pushes back his wet fringe, looking up at the sky. A year, just a year. He'll be free then. But why does his stomach churn at the thought of divorcing namjoon, losing him, letting him go? He doesn't know.

His heart aches because he has become accustomed to the beautiful man who's his husband. He doesn't want to imagine his life without Namjoon's beautiful face, his raspy voice, his little rants and his ever loving cuddles. Jungkook doesn't want to let go, ever.

He removes his coat, throwing it on top of the car, not caring about the fact that the car is more expensive than his whole existence. He removes his shoes and steps forward. There's no one there. Of course it is because only he and namjoon live here, no one else.

If one thing jungkook has learned over the years, it's the fact that even if he's not all that emotionally invested with dancing, it's the first thing he does when he feels constricted, restrained.

Being light on his feet, swaying to the music that is the soft patter of the rain, jungkook feels safe, content. Ever since he was little, he was taught to choose dance in everything. He still doesn't know the reason as his parents never told and he never asked.

Closing his eyes, jungkook takes in the smell of fresh leaves, mud, flowers blooming around. It's refreshing. He dances to all his might. Slow, contemporary. The style that he likes the most. It never fails to calm him down.

"Jungkook!". He jolts when he hears Namjoon's voice from behind. When he turns around, he sees his husband with an umbrella over his head and another in his hand.

"I told you not to go out in the rain, bun", Namjoon scolds and jungkook blushes, lowering his head shyly. Namjoon just sighs and hands him and umbrella. "You can use the umbrella. You're already all soaked, though", he says, chuckling because Jungkook's completely drenched.

Namjoon's laughter dies down when he sees Jungkook looking at him with an unreadable expression. It's intense but not one of malice. Jungkook steps forward, just a step. But namjoon's heart skips a beat.

Jungkook holds the umbrella that Namjoon's using, right above his hand. Namjoon can't stop the gasp that leaves his mouth. He loosens his grip on the handle when jungkook attempts to take the umbrella instead. Lowering it down, jungkook smiles as the umbrella isn't covering Namjoon's lean frame anymore.

He throws it to the side, letting namjoon feel the cold drops. His stomach does a flip and he shivers a bit when jungkook caresses his cheekbone, soft and smooth.

"You're beautiful, hyung", Jungkook murmurs. Namjoon's throat goes dry. It's really happening, jungkook is really touching him. It's too much but not enough. Namjoon leans into his touch.

Getting a hold of Namjoon's collar, jungkook pulls him down, connecting their lips. Their first kiss. Namjoon's arms involuntarily snake around Jungkook's small waist as the younger holds onto his face, gentle yet firm.

With jungkook sucking on his lower lip, Namjoon moans. He has had his fair share of kisses but this is like nothing he has ever experienced. Jungkook's body pressed so close to his, the intimacy sends sparks running down his body.

When they part, they're both breathing heavily gasping for air. The atmosphere is tense, heavy, thick with something akin to sexual intimacy.

Jungkook extends his arm towards his husband, eyes shining. He wants to have everything before life shoves them apart.

"Dance with me, hyung?"