Lies and Heartbreak.

333 words

i miss you more than anything in the world.
i never thought about how hard it would be to adapt to a life i didn't want to live.
i didn't think you had this strong of a hold on me. i thought i was being careful, not letting myself fall too deeply.
yet here i am, wide awake at ungodly hours of the night and the only thing i can think of is, you.
i wish you were here. i just want to wrapped in your arms and for this nightmare to end. i wish you would just appear before my very eyes and take this pain away.

i thought i was stronger than this.

don't you understand that i am nothing without you. i was only ever alive when i knew i had you by my side. 
my lowest points didn't feel so low when you where here to pull me back.
how hard is it to see that i miss you.
i crave you more than an addict craves their next high.
i need you more than a stray needs a home.

do you miss me? why don't you want me back? i thought you loved me more than this.
there's not a day that goes by that you don't cross my mind. bittersweet memories litter my thoughts throughout the day.
i often think back to the days when you told me you'd be here forever. til death do we part. do you remember?
gone without a trace, as if you never existed.
did i really hurt you that bad?

i'm sorry i ruined you.
you swore up and down that it wasn't my fault, and that you just needed time, but i know it was my doing.
i drove you away. i made you feel unwanted, useless. you didn't deserve that. you deserve more than what i am able to give.

there's not a fiber of my being that doesn't want you back.
but i truly wish you the best.