We've been at the party for two hours and already Mike has texted me ten times. Of course I ignore him every time.
I'm still pissed off so of course I start drinking to make myself feel better.
Dan told me that when he gets here we need to talk. I already know he's gonna give me shit for the whole Mike thing. I really cant deal with that right now so I'm hiding out with another band and trying to blend in. These guys drink more than my guys do which works out just fine for me.
Only downside is Jesse is in this band. He keeps staring at me. I hate it.
"Hey, Mike!" Jesse yells suddenly, looking at me still. "You're looking for your girl? She's here."
"What!" I yell at him. "Why?"
He shrugs and laughs.
Mike starts walking over to us, intent on talking to me. I have other plans, though.
I turn and start walking away so fast that I might as well be running. I dont have any idea where I'm going but there are a lot of tour buses here to hide in between so the goal is to just lose Mike's tail. Unfortunately I forgot to take into account the fact that Mike has way longer legs than I do.
Luckily I stumble into Dan. That is a sure way to get rid of Mike.
"Hey whats going on?" Dan says, obviously confused as to what Im running from.
I check behind me and see that Mike's gone.
"I was just uh, looking for you." I say.
His face changes, I can tell he's gonna dump me.
"Look, Row," he starts. "I don't think this is working out. Its just, youre clearly still into Mike and I thought I could deal with it, but I cant. I like you too much, I want all of you, not just half."
I sigh. "I saw this coming. Im not into Mike though. I cant stand him."
"Thats not true." he says. "You still look at him like you want him."
"Yeah I want him gone!"
Dan just looks at me. "Rowan, just forgive him for what he's done. You want each other, its very obvious."
"I swear, i dont!"
"Okay, maybe not. But you dont want me."
I cant even refute that. I dont. As great as Dan is, he doesnt excite me in the way that Mike did. Dan is textbook perfect, but hes not exhilarating.
"I'm sorry Dan, I-"
"Its fine." he says. "Sometimes things dont work out and thats fine."
All the alcohol I had in me is now seemingly gone and that makes me upset. I wish I was drunk for this moment.
"I'm gonna go back to the party." I say. "I'll see you there?"
"Nah, I'm gonna go back to the bus for awhile. To the tech bus, not yours."
"Oh, okay."
"Have a good night, Row." he says then leans in and kisses my cheek before turning and heading away from me.
Part of me is sad but another part is ...relieved? It feels wrong to be relieved. And yet I am.
Mike is waiting right near the edge of the party for me. I can tell he's waiting for me because he's leaning against a bus and is staring in the direction I'm coming in.
Seeing him pisses me off. First he hooks up with me at my brother's house and then ignores me then wants to keep it "casual", tells me he loves me while fucking other people and then has the audacity to get mad when I fuck someone else? He says one thing and then means a whole other thing and even gets Dan to dump me? Mike can go fuck himself.
"Row-" he starts to say before I cut him off.
"Fuck off Mike." I say way too loudly. A couple people nearby turn to look but I don't care. "Fuck off and leave me the fuck alone." I say.
"I just wanna talk." he says.
"No!" I yell louder. "Fuck off! I dont wanna talk to you."
"Row, come on."
"Fuck you, Mike. You've been a complete dick to me since we fucked at my brothers place. You're too back and forth. I dont know what you want from me! And I dont care anymore! I really dont."
Mike comes up to me, gently grabbing my arm and saying we should talk about this somewhere else.
"I don't wanna go with you!" I yell. "I'm pissed off, I dont wanna be near you right now. Youre a dick, you dont even want me and now because of you, Dan doesnt want me either! So thanks for that."
Mike actually looks apologetic
"I'm sorry Dan and you broke up, Row, I didnt mean to come between you two."
"I'm sure you didnt." I say quietly as I stare at the ground and try not to cry.
"Come on." he says, pulling me again.
I'm too sad and drunk to protest. He leads me to the bus and as soon as get on it I start to cry. We go to the back and Mike puts me on him. I cling to him, my arms around his neck.
As I cry he soothes me, telling me its okay and that he's sorry.
I believe him.
