Beneath The Waves// finnick odair

chapter 10 - finnick

Once we get home I find Mags and Apollo cooking dinner for everyone and I sit Noelle in the lounge room. For the past four months, Noelle has only eaten solid food twice and was sick after both times. "Tube or solids love?" I ask Noelle somewhat optimistically. I think she sees in my eyes how desperate I am because she replies in a small voice "I can try some solids." I smile and we turn on the TV for the kids who absolutely love watching people from the Capitol build houses.

Soon, Mags is calling us all to dinner and I grab my plate and Noelle's hand to take her out to the patio to eat. I know she won't feel comfortable eating in front of her siblings. "Love, you don't have to eat it, I can just hook up the tube if you can't." I say to reassure her. She smiles and takes the fork out of my hands, her own shaking like mad. She pokes a piece of fish before putting it into her mouth and swallows. I am so happy; she is finally getting better. We sit in silence for a few minutes before I turn to her and see tears in her eyes. "Finnick I can't do it." She cries and races off into the house. I run after her and catch her putting her fingers down her throat, forcing herself to vomit. I feel myself cringe internally. Every time she does it she ruins her throat even more. "Love?" She looks up at me standing in the doorway. I walk closer to her and look into her eyes. They are an ice blue color that look like the ocean, like a wave crashing. They remind me of home. "Tell me what you're thinking love." I say to her, trying to get her to open up. She turns around to face me and sighs, burying her head in her hands, her long blonde hair shading her from me. I push it out of her face and pick her up, taking her to my room and handing her rope. She finally begins to talk, her words coming out as small breaths.

"Ellie. I didn't protect her like I should have and now she's gone." Her voice dissolves into tears. "Noelle it's okay you didn't kill her okay. It wasn't your fault. None of this was your fault." She sits herself up and looks at me with wild panic in her eyes. "Finnick how am I supposed to go and face all the families? I can't do that. I killed nearly half of the tributes." Her nails dig into scars that exist in her stomach in a wild panic. I see blood seeping through. "Noelle listen to me." I say to her and take her hands into mine to prevent damage. "I will be right beside you the whole time, if you need me I will be right there. Wherever you go I go and if anyone tries to hurt you I'll fight them all." She smiles a little bit and I press my lips to her forehead, feeling the heat that's risen out of it. This worries me, if she gets sick there is no way she could survive it.

I run downstairs to grab a rag to put on her forehead and meet Mags on the bottom floor. She looks at me with a concerned look in her eyes. "Noelle has a fever." I tell her. Mags signs to me to check her hipbone and I remember the infection she had from the welt a few weeks ago. I thank her and race back. Noelle is standing at the dresser, looking at all the photos I have in frames set up. "Is this from the interviews?" She asks me. I see her pointing to a photo of both her and I backstage waiting for her turn. It was taken by Flora and shows her and I looking into each other's eyes. "Yeah, it's my favorite photo ever. You look beautiful." I smile at her. "The dress was gorgeous." She states. "You made the dress look gorgeous." I reply to her and she smirks at me, poking me in my dimple. "Alright love come here and let me look at your hip." The smile on her face disappears and she turns her back to me. "It's fine Finnick, don't worry. I have it under control." I walk up behind her and snake my arms around her waist. "Let me see love." I whisper into her ear. She sighs. "Promise me you won't overreact." I hold my pinky out for her to grab onto but I know it must be bad if she's hiding it this much. I kneel down in front of her and pull the side of her sweatpants down to reveal a red, purple, and black wound. I know as soon as I see it that she has blood poisoning. I trace her hipbone which looks sharp enough to cut someone. "Far out Noelle. This isn't just an infection. Why didn't you tell me?" My brow furrows as I try and think about the ways I can help fix it but I know I'm going to have to take her in to see the healer in town. "I don't want to be a burden to you Finnick." I sigh. This conversation has happened so many times over the last few months. "Love you are not a burden. I need you to stay alive and I would do anything to keep you safe and healthy with me. I need you just as much as you need me." I press my lips to her stomach and take in her beautiful skin which tastes like sea salt, like home. She falls asleep on top of me and I smile seeing her so relaxed and peaceful. Slowly but surely I fall asleep again too.

After a few hours Noelle wakes again in tears and breathing too fast. She screams which shocks me awake and I pull her close to me but she doesn't even register the touch. Her eyes are glazed over and she rocks back and forth, I can't pull her from her trance. I hear small words come out of her lips and I know almost immediately her mind is stuck back in the games. "Noelle please talk to me. Please come to me." I say to her, desperate to pull her out of it but it doesn't work. I lift her tiny body up into my left arm and race downstairs to call Haymitch with my right.

"Finnick? What in god's name are you calling me at this hour for?" His words are annoyed but his tone is worried. Haymitch became somewhat of a fatherly figure to me after I won my games. My own father had already died by then so he helped get me through the initial part of surviving. "Noelle won't come out of this trance; she doesn't even register my touch. I've tried talking to her but she just mumbles things that don't make any sense. I don't know what to do." I say to him over the phone in an absolute panic. Noelle is still shaking in my left arm, curled up in my elbow. I am nearly double her height and nearly three times her weight so she quite literally sits in my arm. "Okay Finnick calm down buddy. We'll figure it out. Keep me on the phone. Take her into a shower and turn the cold water on, only the cold water." I bring the phone with me as I run back upstairs to our bathroom. I try to talk to her once more before putting her body into shock. "Noelle? Please talk to me. It's Finnick. Just please talk to me love." I get no response.

I've set Noelle in the center of the shower and she resumes a fetal position, rocking back and forth digging her fingers into her hipbone. I turn on the water and hold her hands but the water does nothing. "Finnick? Is she back?" I hear Haymitch' s voice come from the phone I set on the floor. "No she hasn't responded." I hear him take a deep breath from the other line. Suddenly I am distracted by someone at the door to the bathroom. Pele.

"Finnick? What's going on? Is Elle okay?" His tiny voice shatters my heart. "Yeah sweetheart, go and find Apollo and tell him you can sleep with him tonight okay? Elle isn't feeling so good tonight." He nods and looks over to his big sister who is bleeding into the shower and rocking in shock. "It's the games isn't it." He whispers to me, a big tear rolling down his face. I walk over to him and try to shield Noelle from his view. "She's getting sicker isn't she. Is she going to die?" I wrap him in a big hug and look into his eyes which are identical to Noelle's. I pause before responding. "She's going to be okay Pele. She's a fighter that one and I promise you I will not let her die. Now go and find Apollo and tell him you can all have hot coco's if you promise to not come back upstairs until morning." I say to him gently. He nods and gives me a kiss on the cheek. "I love you Finny." "I love you too Pele." He runs back downstairs and disappears from my sight.

I go back to Haymitch on the phone. "Sorry, her younger brother came in." I look back to Noelle who moans softly, her eyes slowly returning from their glaze. "Haymitch she's coming back it worked." I mumble a thank you and hang up quickly to go and sit with her. The water still runs over her body, washing the blood away. I put her head in my lap and her tiny arm reaches up to brush through my hair. I laugh slightly at her actions. "Talk to me love." Her lips part and I see blood staining her lips. "I'm okay, you don't need to worry." I am silent at her words; angry she doesn't trust me enough to let me in. Instead of voicing my opinions I pick her up and help her undress to dry her off. I hand her some of my smallest clothes to put on and let her change. She looks hilarious in them; they swallow her whole. She pulls me into bed with her and cuddles into my chest, her fingers drawing circles over my heart making it flutter. "You don't need me to tell you that the games were not your fault." I whisper to her and she sighs in response. I snake my arms around her chest and feel her heartbeat, reassuring me she's still here with me. Her heartbeat slows and her breaths become even as she falls asleep once again.