Something About You

One. September, 2000.

The first time Niall falls in love, he's 7 years old.

His mam keeps telling him it's a big day—she called twice, last night, to say she's sorry she couldn't be there to take him to his first day of First Class—but Niall doesn't feel excited, or different, or special, like he thinks he's supposed to on his very first day of Big Kid School.

Instead, he feels a knot in his tummy, the way he feels sometimes when he knows he's done something wrong and is going to have to face his da or Greg later. Like that time he kicked his football through the back window of the house and glass went everywhere, or the time he threw a rock at Greg for a laugh and his nose started bleeding.

He doesn't like to talk about that knotty feeling—he's never heard anyone else say they feel that way, and sometimes, when it's dark out and he can't fall asleep and untangle what's happening in his belly, Niall feels like there might be something wrong with him, or his stomach, or the rest of his body. Because sometimes, like right now, he gets that knotty feeling everywhere: his tummy, but also in his throat, his chest, his brain, and his legs feel like he can't stop moving them, either.

He thinks he might feel better if Mully was in his class with him—in Junior and Senior Infants he and Mully were in the same class, and Niall didn't feel all knotty then. But this is a new school and Mully's classroom is down the corridor and around the corner to the left—85 steps away, Niall counted—and Niall won't be able to see him until the day is over.

His teacher is named Mrs. O'Callahagn and Niall thinks she's nice. She has hair like his mam's, which makes him feel better, and she put his seat at the same table as Colm McAnderson, who Niall plays football with sometimes. Colm is funny and really good at maths, and Niall feels a lot less knotty by the middle of the day.

When Mrs. O'Callahagn says they can eat lunch on the picnic tables by the pitch, Colm takes off running faster than Niall has ever seen him. It's still a little warm out for September and Colm shouts from his cubby that he's going to beat everyone else there and save them a table in the sun. By the time Niall makes it to his own cubby to fish out his lunch, Colm is already waving from his sun-soaked spot by the tables, calling out for Niall to hurry up.

And he tries to, he really does. But Niall's got too much to carry—Da forgot to buy brown paper bags and Niall hadn't had anything to pack his lunch in this morning so he's cradling it all in his arms: a sandwich, a packet of crisps, an apple, a bottle of Snapple. It's awkward to carry and the ground is a little mushy from the rain this morning and Niall is rushing so it shouldn't surprise him, really, when he trips and falls and lands on his knees in the mud, his lunch scattered all around him, the knees of his brand new uniform trousers soaked through with muck and soggy ground.

For a moment Niall stills, expecting the laughter to come. But no one's looking—they're all too distracted by the sunny day and the freedom of being outdoors after what felt like a million years of working out maths equations. Instead, Niall's alone with the mess he's made and the sting in his palms from hitting the ground and all he can think about is how he knows these trousers were so expensive, and how angry Da is going to be about having to clean them.

He takes his time standing back up. His knee hurts a little and he feels kind of shaky from how hard he hit the ground. He's taking a few deep breaths, trying to get himself together, when he hears a soft voice behind him. She sounds a little worried.

'Are you alright?'

Despite his initial fear that everyone would laugh at him for falling over, something in this voice makes Niall feel less scared. He turns around slowly, gentle on his knee, and there's a girl there.

She's wearing a bright blue jacket over her school uniform even though it's not that cold out, and one of her over the knee socks has slouched down a little, so it only comes up to the middle of her shin. It takes him a second to realize that she's in his class: she sits on the other side of the room but he recognizes her voice now. She'd known the capital city of Poland, and her name is Isla Boyne.

'I'm okay,' Niall says, and it's only half a lie. He brushes his hands over his thighs, ignoring the sting. 'Just slipped.'

'Your lunch,' says Isla, looking down at his apple, coated in mud. 'You can't eat that.'

Niall shrugs. He hadn't gotten there yet, was too busy worrying about how Da would afford to buy him a new pair of trousers.

Without ceremony, Isla reaches into her lunch bag and pulls out her sandwich. It's cut in half and she pulls one of those halves out of the plastic bag, holding it out toward Niall. 'Here, have that. You're not allergic to peanut butter, are you?'

'No,' Niall reaches his hand out, 'but you don't have to give me your sandwich.'

'S'alright,' she shrugs. 'Sharing is the nice thing to do, that's what my mammy always tells me. Anyway, I don't really like peanut butter but my mammy always makes it because she says it's healthier than a ham sandwich, which is my favorite. I get ham on Fridays, but I won't share that with you, so don't fall again.'

'I—' Niall stumbles a little over his words. His tummy is doing something weird now: not knotty like earlier, but bouncy, floaty, a little tickly. He's smiling, and Isla is walking away and he can smell her hair as she walks past him, like strawberries and coconut and peanut butter from the sandwich and he just barely manages to get out a 'Thank you!' before she runs off to her friends, only looking back over her shoulder to wave gently.

When Niall gets to the table and Colm asks where his lunch is, Niall says he finished it on his walk over. Colm offers him a few crisps and he takes them gratefully, the taste of peanut butter still lingering in his mouth.