The Suburbs

eleven

We need never be ashamed of our tears.

[Charles Dickens]

• • •

Kody liked Isabel's house; it was quiet. Maybe that was because she didn't have any siblings or maybe it was because her parents didn't talk to each other very often - Isabel was just waiting for them to announce their divorce any day now. He also liked Isabel's house because it felt like she had a million cats. Apparently she only had three, but they were very fast.

The wallpaper in her bedroom was baby pink with little ballerinas on it. She told him that it hadn't changed since she was three years old. Kody thought that it was calming; he felt like a little plastic figurine living in a music box.

They were drinking white wine, sitting cross legged on her floorboards, laughing about a meaningless joke. Kody wanted to dig into a more serious conversation, but he wasn't sure how to do it. He just wanted to make sure that Isabel knew she could talk to him. "Hey, uh...why did you invite me here tonight?" His voice was light, airy, casual.

She smiled knowingly and took a long sip of wine before answering, "You seem down recently and I know you miss London. I want you to see this place as a home."

"I do." That's the problem.

"Well, good."

"What happened today?" He pressed, internally cursing himself for jumping straight into a conversation he knew Isabel would resent.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She feigned nonchalance but it was a thin mask.

"Is everything okay with Christopher?"

She shrugged, "Christopher is nice."

"That's not what I asked."

"Well, he's my boyfriend."

"Also not what I asked." He rose his brows, "Issy, if you don't want to talk about it just tell me now and I won't mention it again." He promised. "But if you do, then I'm here."

"It's complicated." She admitted, tilting her head back and finishing off her wine in one gulp.

"How?"

"I don't know." She murmured. "It just is."

"Let's talk about something else." He prompted, eager to prod at another part of her life. He wasn't sure whether she would like this new conversation topic any more than the last, "What went on between you and Darya?"

She was about to pour herself another serving, the bottle clutched between her long slender fingers. But she froze, pushing her glasses up her nose and clearing her throat, "Darya?"

He shrugged, "Again, if you don't want to-"

"Darya was my friend for a long time." She surprised him with her honesty. Or maybe the alcohol was doing the talking for her. "She might be the reason that I've been acting weirdly actually."

"How so?"

"It hurt when we...when we stopped being friends." She hesitated. "I blocked it all out and I moved on. But then I saw her at your house a few weeks ago, and sure, there's no reason why that would be any different from seeing her in the school corridors, but it was. I don't know why. Maybe because she wasn't diluted by a crowd or maybe because I had to actually speak to her but... she got back into contact after that."

Kody still wanted to ask Isabel why they stopped being friends. He couldn't believe that Arlo's suicide attempt would end a friendship so dramatically. There was more to the story. But until Isabel felt comfortable telling him, he had to be patient. "Does she want to be friends again?"