My Feelings *POETRY*

Her Eyes

Her Eyes

I saw myself in the tear-stained glass,
a girl with eyes that looked deeper than the sea,
a smile on her lips, almost lascivious,
But it was mostly just make-believe.

They never knew me, they perceive,
they looked upon me with disdain,
all because I had nothing to my name,
They termed me crass, a useless being
Their words a defenseless could never fight,
and so I let them be, those gossip-worshiping believers,
I let their words define me, for only gossip is ever tasteful,
and if the crowd denies me, I shall let them be deceived.

I wonder if anyone could understand me,
or even fault me for just that one mistake I committed.
That was to yearn for family or even the tiniest inch of love,
but no one would sell me that, not even my beloved
An inch was too much to ask for, hence I asked for a single thread.

They never listened to me,
they threw me out, only because I brought them shame.
Not one word did they allow me, in fear of ruining the family name.
In their eyes, I was a damaged being, cursed to spread these ruins-
These very ruins I brought upon myself,
To roam this very earth like a madman, devoid of feelings
without a cause, breathing this distasteful air day by day,
Their punishment to me, for being born into this world,
to live my life amidst this mentally draining pain,
Only to seek death, but it was a barricaded way.

They never told me, not once, why do they hate me so,
they were my closest kin, and yet my soul, to the Devil they sold.
They rid me of every single thing I ever owned,
every emotion, thinking and feeling I ever known,
If only they could drain this very blood that binds me to them,
At least then these familial ties I could condemn.

I saw myself in the glass,
An uncanny figure, a broken lass.
A smile adorned my face, the only expression I know,
They called me a defiant home-wrecker, without proof
just so she could keep her family,
and me,
The lies they told that swallowed me in,
for they solely believed I am a being without feelings.

Dear mom,
I must've been a fool to have loved you.

Janelle.