THE LAST LETTER

Cʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 10 // 𝐻𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘 𝑖𝑠 𝑎 𝑏𝑖𝑡𝑐ℎ

《We're only getting older, baby
And I've been thinking about it lately
Does it ever drive you crazy
Just how fast the night changes?

Night Changes- One Direction》

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᪥ R A C H E L' S P O V ᪥

If my emotions wouldn't have been all over the place, his words wouldn't have hurt me so much. But the thing is, I was sad and depressed because a few days later was my Dad's fifth death anniversary. It's been five years but every time it's around, all the pain of losing him that I'd kept buried inside came rushing back to me. The feeling was so surreal that it felt like I was losing him all over again. I felt pity for myself because I didn't even realize that I was going to lose him, and then he's gone, in a blink of an eye.

I was stood in front of the mirror above the sink, and tears of sadness and embarrassment were dripping down my eyes when Sam barged into the washroom.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asked, a little worried.

"I was trying to defend him, and h-he, he lashed out on me," I said sobbing.

"I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you."

"Then why would he do that in front of all his friends?"

"I think he's going through something today or maybe he was just jealous or frustrated about the fact that Travis was here. He doesn't want to lose you to some guy that just walked into your lives. He loves you."

"What are you talking about, Sam? Lucas doesn't love me in that way. We are just friends. You heard him that day right; he's not interested in me."

"You heard that?" Sam asked, surprise evident in her voice.

"Yes, and I'm glad I did. At least I know better now than to keep any hopes from him."

"And you believe it?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter. It'll never happen. Besides, we're just friends, and I don't think he is ever going to change. I can't believe you think anything could happen between us."

"Because not only do I see the way he looks at you, but even Matt told me the other day."

"What?" I asked in confusion.

"Sam?" Matt called from the outside the restroom.

Sam sighed. "You're my best friend. I know you better than you know yourself and I even know Luke. Everyone can see that you both are meant to be together."

"You know I can't get involved with Lucas, Sam. He wants a different girl every day. I don't even know why we're discussing this. He can do whatever he wants, or whoever he wants, I don't care anymore. So, let it go." If only I could mean what I said because I care about him so fucking much that it hurts me.

"You know what I think, Rach? I think that you both should stop being so childish and talk it out like mature kids. You both have spent literally every moment of the last eight years with each other, taking care of each other, being there for each other. And it's okay if you both fell in love with each other, stop being so difficult about it." Sam sighed frustratedly but before I could say anything, Lucas opened the washroom door and said, "Let it go, Sam."