D.Gray Man | Allen Walker x Reader

A Strange Ache

P.S. In case you're wondering, Neah is not involved at all. Actions, emotions, and thoughts are purely Allen's. The Noah has no role here.

"Then why won't you look at me?"

The slight tear in his voice ripping through his throat gave her heart an aching squeeze.

Even the close proximity between them was too trivial for her to care.

The sadness and pain reflecting back at her were intense - so intense she found herself caught between the desire to look away and the strong fixation her eyes had on his.

The guilt blooming in her chest screaming for her to stop staring was no help. And so was the powerful urge to make the emotions in his eyes go away. The dangerous idea of pulling him into her arms that came along with the urge was even worse.

She didn't mean to hurt him...she never wanted to be the one causing the face he was making now. She only wanted happiness for him, that was all. Even if it meant letting him go to someone else.

Her chest fell with a small careful exhale. "Allen, I-"

A feigned cough cut in.

Eyes tore away from each other and were drawn to a Finder who shifted his gaze between them curiously.

"Allen Walker, (Name), Chief has a mission for you."

A curt nod was all before the Finder left them alone again, walking away in the other direction.

(Name) returned her eyes to Allen, only to see that the dark, serious look hadn't left his face.

With his head still angled in the direction the Finder was in seconds ago, he hadn't budged from his looming stance over her.

The deep thoughts shown in his eyes worried her.

Allen's jaw clenched as a wave of grudging anger rippled through him.

His frustration derived from her behavior around him rapidly arrived at one conclusion. He didn't know how, but he didn't care.

All reasons pointed at the idea of her venturing outside alone. All because of another selfish, troublesome master.

He was the reason why she looked so tired. So stressed.

He was the reason why he was always afraid he would come back and find her in a coffin.

He was the reason why some nights were spent in horrible nightmares of her death. The mutilated, broken body of hers. The cold, glassy eyes staring back at him. There was always blood - so much blood.

Sensing a movement beside her, her eyes darted to the arm before her in time to watch his hand curl into a fist against the wall.

Was he that angry at her?

Her eyes returned to him warily.

"Allen..." She felt her heart sinking. "I'm-"

"(Name)," His voice was calm and even with a linger of anger, "This mission you do for your master..." His eyes remained locked on where the Finder stood. "You're always out there endangering your life for him."

Eh?

(Name) blinked at him, taken aback by the totally different reason for his anger. She had thought it was...her actions.

Allen finally turned his head, his teeth gritted.

"...I can't take this anymore, (Name)."

Not another word, Allen moved away and brushed past her, disappearing into the corner she came from.