"Loving two souls will destroy me."
As a child she loved them both, however her mistakes caused utter chaos to unfold.
In her adolescents she fell apart slowly and when faced with her past her unhealed heart shattered once more.
And as a young adult...
I drank yet another glass of vodka as I sat on the floor of my bedroom. My head was fuzzy from the alcohol that I have been drinking ever so slowly for the past hour. Ever since the guy next door told me who he was I couldn't help but relieve the past. It's been a week since we saw each other on the balcony, and he revealed that he was the boy I kissed all those years ago. It was hard to believe but it's true...
It felt like a razor cutting at my throat as my reality began to vanish.
I gulped down my last drink before standing up and walking out of my room. I glanced down at the stairs as my vision blurred from the intoxicating alcohol swimming throughout my bloodstream like poison. I managed to make it down without falling or hurting myself yet as I walked out of my house I tripped and fell on the muddy floor. The heavy rain poured down as if the sky was weeping with agony...
I laughed it off even though my chest was aching with sorrow...
As I stood up, I brushed myself off and just walked further away from my home. As I walked, tears spilled over and I began to cry ever so softly to myself. I took a seat on the sidewalk and laid my head against a fence, shivering from the wet clothes I snickered to myself thinking about my past and how I destroyed it. A loud grunt came out of nowhere as I glanced up in the direction of it. My eyes widen a bit as I stare at the devil himself standing hovering over me like a predator ready to catch its prey, to say the least...
"Oh kitten, you know how pathetic you look right now?"
His voice held annoyance and pure venom in it. I pushed myself off the floor and ended up punching him right in the jaw. He let out a chuckle and rubbed his jaw as he tensed up. "Weak punch yet it stung". he then cleared his throat and glanced up at the sky. He suddenly got serious, and his aura immediately darkened. "You know kitten, that day at the lake that kiss we shared meant everything to me, but I am sure it meant nothing to you as you had kissed other boys, funny how one of those boys ended up dead and all because of you kitten". he then looks at me and his eyes widen with hatred in them.
He backed up from me and turned away as he walked. He dropped something on the floor. I tried to speak yet as I looked down to see what he had dropped my entire body nearly became weak and numb...
Once he was far enough, I picked up whatever he had dropped. It turns out it was a picture...
A picture that made my stomach do flip flops and nearly made me vomit. I placed my hand to cover my mouth as tears trench my cheeks...
The picture consisted of the two boys I kissed and one of them killed themselves. I sat back down and inhaled sharply as I tried to calm myself down...
The past is painful and unforgettable as much as I wish to forget it's nearly impossible too...
.......
Monday morning arrived and I climbed out of bed drowsy and possibly sick from last night. I reeked of alcohol and required a shower. After showing up for an hour, I got out and got ready for another dreadful day at school. My eyes wandered throughout my closet for an outfit, yet I couldn't decide. I end up simply picking out old black skinny jeans with a grey shirt that says nope on it. I tied my shoelaces and then went on to fix my hair...
Thanks to my mood I simply did not want to deal with my hair, so I just placed it in an old-fashioned bun. No makeup, just nude pinkish lipstick, and mascara. Grabbing my backup, I left my room at 9:30 am, oh what the fuck I am doing with my life? On a course, my mother had something to say I ignored my mother's remarks on how I was dressed until my nerves exploded...
"Would you fuck off already! I'm sorry I am not the perfect daughter you wanted but I don't give a shit!".
Normally I am very nice and respectful, and I don't ever raise my voice at anyone but lately, I have been on edge...
My mom stood there with an open mouth shocked that her so-called perfect daughter, who is great on the piano and art, not to mention schoolwork is a breeze, has suddenly yelled at her. Yet I wasn't sorry, not in the least...
I slammed the door behind me and huffed out loud as I walked toward the driver that would drop me off at school. Once at school I made it to my class at 10:25 am and boy was I in trouble. The hours seem to linger on forever and I was growing irritated by it all. As my final class approached, I stumbled upon an old friend of mine that is now my enemy. Her name is Claire. She immediately backslash my looks as soon as her big ugly bug-like eyes saw me. "Ewe, what the heck are you wearing? for a girl that happens to be rich you do dress like a homeless person!". She laughed in a high-pitched chuckle that could easily rupture an eardrum or two. I rolled my eyes and walked away from my class. Sometimes I wish that bitch would just fuck off...
In art class, I sat replaying her words in my head before I snapped out of it when my childhood friend entered the classroom. I glanced down and lost myself in a daydream...
As I raised my gaze, I found him staring at me. My heart began to accelerate as tensions filled the atmosphere, breaking it like glass. The noise going on around us suddenly vanished leaving us in complete silence. I felt overwhelmed with so many emotions that I couldn't help but tremble ever so slightly. "Why did you come back here? are you here to destroy my life because you are late if that's what you wanted...". My words came to hold as he let out a dark and rage-filled laugh. " I'm not going to destroy anything; I am just here because I wanted to see you". He then stands up and walks around the table to get to my side before stealing a kiss from me before I could react to what was happening around me. Oh, what the fuck...
I watched in a dazed state as he licked his lips and walked away and out of the classroom as the teacher yelled his name...
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