Smitten With Him [Editing]

18. The Music Room

A/N: Thank you for your paitence, I put an asterisk (*) where the teaser chapter had been left off.

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Oh and this chapter is REALLY long so I hope you don't get bored too quickly. ;)

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Flynn Hopper to the side yo! (from the first chapter) - Played by Francisco Lachowski
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I was in love with Jace.

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I was fucking head over heels in love with my dorky best friend.

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I was smitten with a dude that I've only just met three months ago.

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In love.

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Jace.

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The word love, what does it mean exactly? Does it usually feel like you want to vomit whenever you see or think about your lover? Does it always feel like my insides are twisting and just about to explode all over the place? Is this normal?

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Love.

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It's just one of those words that people don't take seriously. It's powerful, let me tell you that. Right now, it feels like I'm in a life or death situation. Love is such a funny play on words, it can either make you or break you.

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If someone told you they loved you, would you take them seriously? Especially at my age, Jesus fucking Christ. If someone told they loved me, I wouldn't think of it in such a powerful way, I'd reply back the same thing because I would usually mean it in a friendly way, heck, I love my friends and family more than anything in the world.

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But this love was different.

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This love was not the same love I felt for my best friends or my mum.

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It wasn't the same love I felt for the dog I had when I was little.

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It wasn't the same love I felt for my ex's either- me saying 'I love you' was just bullcrap, basically.

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This kind of love I felt for Jace was a kind of love I can't even comprehend.

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Does the word love just sound weird to you now? Love. Love. Love. No?

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The feelings I felt for Jace was far beyond what I've felt for anyone, ever. It felt like I was just intoxicated in Jace. Yeah, that sounds more like it.

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It felt as if Jace was my everything, as silly as that may sound.

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But at this moment, he is my everything.

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I can't be 101% sure of my feelings though, I don't even think that the two of us would work out anyway, we're polar opposites.

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Is it just me or did saying that make you feel like your heart was breaking into two? Does love hurt this much? I don't think I can handle it.

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Whatever it was, it was definitely not something I wanted to feel again, never.

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Albeit, that is a good point. Jace and I are opposites and let's face it, it is unlikely to happen. While he's off learning how to hack into the school system with that highly intelligent brain of his, I'd probably be off drinking some booze that I find lying around the house or in Liam's room - I know where his stash is.

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We are opposites and I'm really starting to hate that word.

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Opposites.

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Opposites.

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Its inevitable that Jace and I just won't work together.

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Imagine the hate too:

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"Hey look, Liam's brother is gay. That's so disgusting."

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"He's going to hell."

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Then again, our school was generally open minded, especially the older children given the fact that they've matured.

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Our school wasn't terrible, it wasn't a place of segregation or discrimination but of course, there would be the odd homophobe though would a handful of close minded idiots stand against an army of fan girls?

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To be honest, an army of fan girls would scare me more than any homophobe would, I mean, take Trisha for example - she's completely mental in the head.

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Phew; glad she's gone as well as her stuck up parents whose heads are shoved far too deep inside their asses.

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Liam thought it would've been a great idea to snap nearly all of Molly and Trisha's lipsticks and I thought it would've been a great idea to squirt shampoo into their bags and all over their neon bras but it didn't even work out that well.

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In the end, I was caught squirting the white stuff in the bags and ended up having to wipe them out - even when I argued that their bags could smell like strawberries because come on, who doesn't want a strawberry scented bag?

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I mean, I would totally want that.

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I was rudely snapped out of my reverie by my mum who was banging on the the door and yelling at me to get up out of bed and get ready for school but I wanted to stay put, laying in my bed under the comfy duvet cover in the warmth. It was freezing outside and I was yet to prepare.

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I twisted around so that I was laying on my back, arm under my head and eyes staring up at the blank white ceiling. Today was going to be a difficult day, I'll have to see Jace and go over his after school for another physics revision session. I've always hated those, they were terrible but they were also worth it for obvious reasons. You would expect Jace and I to just muck around during those and not do any work but education is Jace's top priority and to succeed with flying colours is his biggest dream so he doesn't let me get distracted.

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There I go again, thinking about that loser. That handsome and witty loser.

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I sighed at the unfairness of it all, It was quite obvious Jace was starting to like Lori, that girl from the football game. He's texting her nearly all the time and he even smiles at his phone like a complete doofus whilst doing so.

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I sighed again and slapped my forehead with my free hand and dragged it down my face, feeling its sweatiness. Gross, I thought.

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The cold air bit at my skin as I stood up and though it was coming to the end of March, the British weather was well suited to the early days of December. The weather was still in zero below temperatures in the early morning and I prayed for it not to randomly snow - That stuff was annoying as hell.

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It would most probably all icy outside and I just can't handle shit, not when a friend of mine fell over last year and had to stay in crutches for quite some time.

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I was finally ready and out the door at 8:45 my class started in fifteen minutes and Liam ditched me so I mentally prepared myself for the forty minute walk that is to come. I reckon that because of the ice, I would most probably trip over and I told this to my mum but she only just nagged me about time keeping and learning from my mistakes.

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Pfft, women.

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As my hiking boots slapped on the pavement, my mind was elsewhere, sorting through things I've buried at the back of my mind.

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I thought about the most random things such as what I would've been doing this time last year or what it would be if Jace and I got together and lived happily ever after and then I also thought about other things such as what it would be like if I didn't pass with flying colours this year.

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The cold breeze started to nip at my fingers and I found it rather difficult to change the current song playing on my phone. I stuffed my phone in my jeans pocket and clasped my hands around my mouth, breathing on them with the warm breath from my mouth to help warm it up but alas, it was no use.

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