five

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Demi's POV

"Layla wait!" I shouted, but she didn't stop, instead continuing in her bid for freedom.  I was frozen to the spot..I felt compelled to chase after to..to get my head around what I did wrong, but I couldn't move, as if someone was holding me down. I felt the guilt and sadness well up within me.  It's your fault she ran away, she hates you.  It's always your fault.  You're so worthless.  I shut my eyes and clutched my head with my hands, desperately willing for the voices to stop, but they continued. Way to go, Demi. Always hurting other people. When will you ever do something right? I wanted to scream.  When would something good happen to me that wasn't snatched away from my grasp almost straight away?

"Demi..ar..are you okay?"

The voices suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes, to find Ben, a boy from our grade stood before me, concern and worry etched across his face.  He took a few slow steps towards me. 

"What's wrong?" he questioned, putting his hands on my shoulders.  I wanted to explain to him everything, ask him for help but I couldn't string the sentence together.  My head was a mess, and all I could think about was Layla. 

"It's all my fault" I whispered, "She hates me".  Ben's eyes narrowed, the confusion clear from his gaze.

"Who hates you? I don't understand?"

"Layla" I breathed, my cheeks now stained with tears.  If I didn't look bad before, I sure as hell looked bad now.  Ben was one of the best looking boy's from our grade.  His short blonde hair was scruffy and swept to one side, and his piercing blue eyes were like crystals.  He was one of the only people who could make me question my own sexuality.

"Layla White?" he gave me a questioning look. I nodded.

He took a deep breath, rubbing my forearms with his hands. "Look, I'm sure she doesn't hate you, sometimes people just need a little bit of time to clear their head.  Sometimes, we do things..say things that we don't really mean; hindsight is a powerful thing, but you have to remember that we all take time. I'm sure she'll come around, you'll see". The corners of his lips curled into a smile. "Here, give me a hug".  I was too weak to resist as I felt myself become cacooned by his strong arms, and I felt overpowered by the scent of his cologne.  He was warm, and I felt safe in his arms. 

After a minute or so, he broke away, staring right into my eyes.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?"  I felt myself blush at his words. Fuck, he definitely had a way with words.

"You're not too bad yourself" I flirted back.

Ben's eyes began to flicker between my eyes and my lips, and before I had a chance to react, his lips came crashing to mine.  Our mouth's moved in sync as he bit down on my lower lip, causing a soft moan to escape my mouth. I was now pinned against the wall, my fingers entangled in his soft hair.  His tounge asked for entrance, of which I granted.

Thing's started to get more heated and intense. The pace of the kiss quickened, and before long, Ben had moved away from my mouth and started leaving a trail of kisses down my neck and towards my sweet spot.  I suddenly felt something burn within me, something that had been absent a few minutes ago - I felt alive.  Ben ran his hands down my back, fiddling with my bra strap until it became unclasped, and then moved his hands down to mine, entwining our fingers.  I felt so wanted..so loved and in that moment, every thought of Layla has disappeared. I felt his hand start to drag mine, pulling me along with him towards the bedroom I had just exited.  I was suddenly overcome with a mixture of emotions. I was gay (or I at least thought I was), so what was I doing with Ben? Was I using him to numb the pain of hurting Layla? Probably. As we entered the bedroom, Ben pushed me down onto the bed, climbing on top of me.  His lips reconnected with mine, and in that moment, I felt trapped.  My head was spinning (probably a combination of alcohol and the mixed emotions) and I felt sick. This wasn't right.  I felt the panic set in as I used all my might to push Ben off of me, his eyes now wide with confusion and rejection.  I felt awful, but I couldn't do this. I couldn't do this to him - lead him on when I felt nothing towards him.

"I'm so sorry Ben, but we can't do this" I avoided eye contact, unwilling to look at the pain that I had caused that was present in his eyes.

"Was it something I did? Did I hurt you?" He stuttered.

I shot him a small smile as I felt the lump in my throat start to form. "I'm just not ready for this, it's not your fault so please don't blame yourself" I choked, before making a dash for the door.  As I reached the door, Ben grabbed my arm and spun me round so I was looking right at him.

"I'm always here for you..y'know, if you want to talk or anything".

"Thank you" I whispered, before quickly hurrying out of the door.  I felt awful, but it made me realise that there was only one person I wanted in my arms...there was only one person who could make me happy.

I had to find Layla.

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Layla's POV

My eyes flickered open, trying to adjust to the unfamiliar situation I was in.  I looked down at my broken body lying on the pavement, trying to recollect how I even got here, but my head hurt too much to even think.  I felt groggy and numb, probably a combination of the pain I was in physically and the temperature outside; I was frozen to the core.  I slowly tried to stand up, focusing my attention on keeping my balance, and just as I thought I had made it..my head began spinning and my sense of coordination disappeared, sending me collapsing back to the floor.

Well shit.

Around me, everywhere was silent, occasionally interrupted by the faint hooting of an owl.  It was a clear night, and a cold one at that.  As I exhaled, I watched as my breath swirled out in front of me, before slowly dissolving into the darkness. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars, focusing on the beauty of the constellations.  The stars danced against the dark blanket of the sky, and the harder I focused, the more I noticed that it was merely not enough to simply envisage stars as little white sparks, because the brilliance of the sky was much richer than most thought.  Like landmarks of the universe, I was hypnotised by the night and it wasn't until I felt a drop of rain on my nose that reality came crashing back to me.

I couldn't even walk, I had no idea where the fuck I was, and I had absolutely no idea how to get home. Great. Just great.

As I tried to hatch up with some genius plan to get myself to safety, I was overcome with tiredness.  My eyelids became heavy as they tried to force themselves shut.  I fought it for a while, desperate not to loose consciousness, but the tiredness was too powerful and I soon found myself drifting off to sleep..cold, alone and lost.

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