Song for this chapter is Goodbye (I'm Sorry) by Jamestown Story
**Louis' P.O.V**
He actually responded. Harry wants to see me. I wanted to drive to see him but he refused to let me. I'm seeing him in three days. I suddenly feel nauseous. I have to prepare. I have to be able to look at him without crying, without thinking of what we lost. I decide to look at his Instagram. I haven't looked in ages. I click his profile and start scrolling. I can feel tears rolling down my face as I look at him, but then I come across some of us together. This makes me smile. I love him so much. I'm so glad we can talk.
I spend the next hour looking through his Instagram and it becomes less and less painful to look at. I notice the time is 10 at night. Was mum not home yet? Oh well. She'd get home with the girls soon. I started my nighttime routine.
As I got out the shower, I heard a knock at the door. That should be mum. She probably forgot her keys earlier. I wrapped a towel around my waist and strolled to the door. I unlocked it from the inside and yelled "it's open" to whoever was on the other side, as I turned to walk back to my bedroom.
"Louis Tomlinson?" I heard an unfamiliar voice ask from behind me. I turned back around to see two police officers stood there.
"Depends who's asking..." I responded cautiously.
"It's about your mother and sisters. There was a head-on collision on the motorway. I'm sorry. There were no survivors."
"What? I'm sorry. Please tell me this is a joke. Who sent you?" I asked. It couldn't be true.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Mr Tomlinson. Is there anyone else you would like us to contact? Usually we don't do this but you need some time to absorb this information and look in no state to talk." One of them asks nicely. I shake my head. I have nobody else. My family was my reason for living. What would I do without them? They said goodbye and I just fell on the floor and sobbed.
After about an hour of me sitting on the floor in nothing but a towel sobbing, I heard my phone buzz from the other room.
From Harry:
10am Starbucks on Tuesday okay for you?
Harry. Surely if I had Harry, I would be okay. He was my soulmate. I knew it. There was nobody else who made me feel the way Harry makes me feel. I would love. For Harry's sake.
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I woke the next morning with my eyes still burning from crying. I checked the time. 11am. In just 23 hours I would see my true love. My reason for life. But I could tell that these would be the longest 23 hours of my life.
I tried to do my morning routine the best I could, but it took a lot of effort. At around 1pm, I flopped onto the sofa with very little energy left. I had used every ounce of energy I ever had on crying the night before. I should have taken a nap but instead I decide to check social media. I had received a few messages from Niall and Liam asking if I was okay, and if I wanted them to visit. I declined politely. I didn't want to see anyone just yet. It was all over the news, so instead I decided to return to looking through Harry's profile. He wouldn't have heard yet. I was glad. I would tell him myself. I clicked on his profile and saw he had one new picture. Him and one very attractive boy with the caption "Love you always". That was it. Harry had a boyfriend. My reason for living had someone else. I was useless, unneeded, unwanted.
I crawled into bed and cried for a few hours. At around 5pm, I decided. I had no reason to live, so I would end my pain. My mind flew back to Harry. I would see him in 17 hours. I decided just to write a note and leave it on my bed. Surely if I didn't meet him, he would come to mine to look right?
Dear Harry,
If you find this, I'm already gone. It's too late. I have no reason to live anymore. I'm nobody's problem anymore. When you find this, I will have already jumped into the river. By the place where we first met. You probably don't remember that though. We were only two. If it matters at all, there are some songs I wrote hidden in my drawer. They are probably worthless but I wrote my heart out to them. I hope someone gets some use out of them, even if it's just fire fuel.
Anyway. This note is quite long now.
Goodbye. I'm sorry.
Love you forever,
Louis
xxx
That was it. The perfect note. I folded it into an envelope and wrote Harry's name neatly on the front. I made my bed, tidied my room, places the envelope on the pillow and began planning how I was going to do it. I would do it much later tonight. It was still light outside, so people may still be out there. I didn't want to get stopped by anyone.
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At around half past nine, I left my room, headed to my car, and drove to the bridge. As I was driving I began thinking deeply.
By the time I got to the bridge, I was crying again. I got to the bridge, got out, locked my car and headed to the barrier. I checked the time; 9:49pm.
I thought back to mum, my sisters. "I'm sorry mum. I know this isn't what you would want me to do. You would want me to fight this. You wouldn't tell me to keep living and make my life worth something. But I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't live anymore. It's too hard. I love you mum. I always will. But I have to do this. I'm sorry." I sob. I know she can hear me. I feel awful, but it's too late. I climb over the barrier and look down. It was such a big drop, no doubt it would kill me. I'm crying so hard at this point that I almost don't hear another car drive up to the bridge. I almost don't hear it stop. I suddenly hear footsteps running across the bridge. I'm about to let go and drop until I hear a voice.
"Louis! Please! Stop!" I hear Harry yell. Fuck. Of course he would be here.
YOU ARE READING
My Habit from This Town
FanfictionLovers ripped at a young age finding each other in the place they both call home. They can finally start their fairy-tale. However, their love is almost ripped from them again. Because that's the thing about pain. It demands to be felt.
