To The Man I Love (LF Series #1)

Kabanata 3 | Date

"Look what you just did!" Pinakita niya ang mensahe ni Andrea. Sa haba ng sinabi niya, ang "Let's break up" lang ang nakita ko. Mabilis niya rin kasing inalis ito. What's wrong with this lady? Ganoon ba kababa ang tingin niya sa mga katulad ko? I was just concerned.

"I am sorry. Pero wala akong ginagawang masa-" Itinulak niya ako sa pader. Sumakit ang likod ko.

"Shut up. You did this! You will never have me! I will never love you. You are just a being a parasite and I fucking hate it!" Alburuto niya. Bawat salitang lumalabas sa bibig niya ang sakit. But why do I still love him? I don't know anymore.

"I love you." Sinabi ko. Lalo niyang hinigpitan ang hawak niya sa collar ko. Hindi ako makahinga. I saw his eyes fuming with anger because of the little glimpse of light coming from the outside of the tunnel. Walang dumadaan dito kaya madalas ito ang sinasabi nilang meeting place namin para saktan ako. They bullied me more here. Naging abandonado na kasi ito dahil palaging ninanakaw ang mga ilaw kaya naging prone ito sa aksidente. Ipinasara ito at ito ang ginawang lugar nila Jose para saktan ako.

"Don't be ridiculous, fag! You will never ever hear me saying the same to you. Now, stop pursuing me. I don't fucking appreciate it. Kuha mo?!" Tiningnan ko siya sa mata. I cried in front of him.

"Stop." Sabi niya.

"You don't deserve to cry right now. You ruined my relationship." Dagdag niya.

It was just a message saying my concern, Joe. I never had any intention to ruin what you have with her. Iyan ang gusto kong sabihin pero I remained looking at him.

Itinulak niya ulit ako sa gilid then I lost my balance. Sinadya niya iyon. Pero hindi niya atang napansin na may bato sa kung saan tumama ang ulo ko. I am losing my consciousness pero nilalabanan ko para makita ang pag-alis niya. Papunta na siya sa liwanag ng tunnel. That's right, Joe. Walk towards the light. Always. Do not let darkness consume you. I smiled and tried to make a happy memories with him kahit na wala naman talaga. I imagined him being sweet to me and always making an effort to make me happy. And the tears fell. I am still laying on the ground. Hindi ako makakilos dahil nanghihina na ang katawan ko. Bumibigat na ang mga mata ko. When he step into the light darkness consumed me.

I wish I could write right now in my diary and tell what happened to me today. The things he did to me and the way his eyes speak differently to his mouth. Even though, I am dead I will still love him in heaven. Tell my ate, that I love her and my siblings. Tell my friends, it's not their fault. And tell him, he is still loved by me after everything. That's how powerful my love for him.

I opened my eyes and I saw whites. Is this heaven? It looks peaceful. But why can't I reach the light? I really, really want to touch it. Bakit parang lumalayo siya.

"Oh, anong tinitingnan mo sa taas?" Alam ko ang boses na iyon!

She pinched my cheeks and it hurts.

"A-aray" sabi ko.

"Oh, buhay ka pa pala ea! Walang problema ito." Sabi ni Ara. Punyeta talaga itong babaeng ito. Nagmo-moment ako, sinira niya.

"Ara, shock pa siya. Wag mo munang biglain." Si Angel.

"Mabuti na lang at maayos ka na ngayon." Komento ng isang boses na hindi ako pamilyar.

"Nga pala, Jam. Si Mason. Siya ang nakakita sa yo doon sa tunnel. Buti na lang magyoyosi siya don. Kung hindi baka missing ka." Si Bruce.

"Ano bang ginagawa mo dun?" Tanong nung Mason.

Hindi ako sumagot sa tanong niya.

"Si Jose?" Tanong ko.