~Seyeon~
It was three days after we came back from the hospital that I finally decided that it's time to talk to Yoongi about my past. It took a while, yes, I know but I've decided to just force myself to tell him. I could only pray that he'll still love me regardless of the bad things I've done.
Yoongi propped himself up on his elbow, looking at me as I laid still on the bed.
"So?" he prompted. "You said it was am emergency and called me here. What's wrong?"
I inhaled and then let out a sigh before turning my head to face Yoongi.
"You mentioned feeling hurt because I didn't confide to you about my past," I said quietly, "For that, I'm sorry."
"We've passed this already," Yoongi muttered, holding my hands with his before lacing our fingers. "It's okay now."
I shook my head, "You need to understand this, Yoongi. It's true that I never wanted to tell you about my past and that I'd rather take it with me to the grave."
He stiffened.
I hurried on, "But that's not because I don't trust you or because I'm afraid of what you'll think of me."
Yoongi let out a soft sigh, "What?"
"It's mainly because I'm embarrassed and still hurt by it," I told him, squeezing his hands, "but most importantly, it's because you make me forget my past, Yoongi. Being with you makes me happier than ever. I really do forget about the hurt I've felt back then because I know you're here with me."
Yoongi's eyes warmed.
"I don't want to dwell on the past," I said, "And I don't want you to get tangled in that mess too. I'm working around it. It still hurts from time to time when I get flashes here and there but I promise that I'm really okay now. All I want and need is just you by my side. I didn't talk about it with you because I want to forget it."
He waited for me to continue.
I sighed and turned my attention towards the ceiling. "My parents died when I was young. I was adopted right after that incident and barely had time to recover, you know. I met Seolhee there." I hesitated at the mention of her name. "She was the sister I needed. She held me, cried with me and she was there for me. I came to rely on her and really love her too."
"Things started changing at that house," I mumbled. "After her parents had more kids, they disregarded me like I was trash. They treated me badly – like I wasn't even a person. Not just me, but Seolhee too. I wanted to stay strong for Seolhee so I kept quiet and just took all of their insults because I knew I still have her on my side."
I laughed at how naïve I'd been.
"One day I woke up and Seolhee was gone. She packed all of her stuff and ran away," I glanced at Yoongi, tears in my eyes. "She didn't ask me to go with her. She just—left. I stayed in that hell house because I didn't want to leave her but she just grabbed her stuff and left me there."
I remember feel so betrayed and broken at that. I was a naïve sixteen year old after all. Being five years older than me, it meant that Seolhee was able to escape because she was an adult. That's what she did. Escaped.
"I was sixteen," I murmured. "Shortly after she left, I waited for a few months before running away too. I—had to do things to make money."
I glanced down at my hands. "Just—some bad things."
Yoongi reached out and poked my cheek.
I glanced at him and saw the love and understanding in his eyes.
"Bad things," I whispered. "And I'm scared they will catch up to me and ruin you. Your image as well as the members' images too."
"We do what we have to do," Yoongi said, softly. "You were sixteen and alone so I don't blame you, Seyeon. Besides, you were able to get out of that bad stuff, weren't you? You're successful now."
I smiled at that and nodded. "I wanted to go the right way."
"And how did they treat you when Seolhee left?" Yoongi asked, eyes narrowed.
I hesitated. "The abuse got worse."
"How?"
I sighed, "Let's just say there were some hands involved and when it got to much, I knew I had to leave before I lose all of me."
Yoongi's jaw clenched at that. "Hands?"
I reached out and stroke his cheek. "You were my first man, Yoongi."
"I know," he muttered. "I was kind of there when I found out."
I grinned at that, shifting towards him and burrowing myself in his arms. Yoongi's arms closed around me in a tight and secure embrace.
The humiliation I went through while I was in high school, the taste of those pills, the bruises and blood on my hands, the isolation I endured while studying a beauty course and the empty void in my heart... all that disappeared when I met Yoongi.
I was able to say goodbye to the broken and lost little girl I once was because of him.
"That it why I am going to marry you so you can't run away from me," I said, out loud without thinking.
Yoongi tensed. "What?"
"I didn't," I whispered, looking up at him. "Did I just say that out loud?"
Yoongi looked like he was trying so hard not to laugh.
I groaned.
Bending his head down, he pressed a kiss to the space in between my brows. "Where's my ring then?"
I looked at him, wearily. "What?"
Yoongi's lips curled into a playful grin, "Well? You're going to propose with no ring?"
I shook my head at that and mumbled. "I'll keep that in mind next time I propose then."
***
The members wouldn't leave me alone and that was starting to bother me. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm loved and all but I needed the space to myself.
"Let's eat," Jimin said, grabbing my arm, "You haven't eaten, right?"
I rubbed my temples, "Jimin, I ate before with Jungkook."
Jimin glared at Jungkook, "Why didn't you ask me to come along?"
Jungkook's eyes were on his phone but he smirked and shrugged without bothering to look up.
I patted Jimin's hand. "There, there. You guys need to stop feeding me so much, okay?"
"You've lost weight," Jimin said, arching his eyebrows, "you do realise that, don't you?"
"Well, maybe it's a good thing," I said with a shrug.
Jimin sighed and sat down beside me on the sofa. He tilted his head towards the ceiling, eyes closed. Looking at him, I could see how tired he was.
"What about you?" I asked him.
Jimin opened one eye and looked at me. "What about me?"
I hesitated, wanting to ask him about the whole incident that took place at the company. Not just Jimin but Jungkook was also there too. Those two have been keeping a close eye on me and I'm starting to worry about them.
The man who broke in was arrested and charged. He won't be a threat anymore so we were all able to resume to our normal lives once more. However, the impact he left behind really affected each and every one of us.
"I'm okay," I said, tapping his hand with mine. "You and Jungkook need to stop feeling so guilty and following me everywhere."
Jimin scoffed, "Who says it's because of that man?"
"Are you saying it's not?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
Jimin and I stared at each other for a long while until he let out another sigh, shaking his head. "So you are sharp after all."
"Hey!"
Seeing Jimin and Jungkook laughing, I couldn't help but laugh with them too. With this, I hope that we can all move forward from that scary incident and not blame each other.
