I've Never Been This Close

Unceasing Pain

**** TEAM'S POV *****

-- At Win's Room -

I was now helplessly being dragged to enter Hia Win's spacious room.

I wanted to argue with Hia Win because I don't want to stay with him in his room but he seems so serious that I was not able to find the courage to talk back to him and besides, my whole body already feels too weak.

I have a lot of things in my mind that I wanted to tell him but I just kept silent and overthink by myself.

I wanted to tell him that I don't want him to take care of me.

I wanted to tell him that he doesn't need to worry over me.

I wanted to tell him that he have no obligation towards me.

He may be my trainer at the Swimming Club but we are not really that much related to each other and I don't think we can already be even called "friends" so he doesn't need to do anything for me.

Although I wanted him to know that I appreciate him being nice and caring to me as his nong but he doesn't need to take it too seriously, acting as if he really is supposed to take me as his responsibility.

I wanted to tell him to just completely ignore me even just for today.

I wanted to ask him to forget that he saw me looking pitiful and unconscious earlier.

If possible I also just want him to forget that he needed to save me earlier.

I know I shouldn't have tried to end my life particularly in that place that is precious to many other students just like me.

I know I might have caused a huge scandal if other students found out what I did and worst it might have bad effect on the whole university.

To be honest, at first it wasn't really my intention at all but the pain I was feeling earlier have just became too unbearable for me that even being under the water which is supposedly my remedy doesn't help me feel even a little numb.