Mahal Kita, Pero Book 2: ALL MY LOVE IS FOR YOU / รักหมดทั้งใจให้คุณ

Chapter 28: Anything To Be With You

Chapter 28: Anything To Be With You

San Francisco, Day 6 of Jam and Pero's American Adventures

I WAS SPEECHLESS.

In front of me is the world-famous Golden Gate Bridge. Hindi talaga makukumpleto ang San Francisco experience ko kung hindi ko makikita ang Golden Gate Bridge in the flesh.

Narito ako ngayon sa Battery Spencer. Isa itong area na ginamit ng mga Amerikanong sundalo ilang dekada na ang nakaraan. Bago kami makarating sa viewpoint na ito sa itaas ay may mga nadaanan kaming mga abandonadong gusali, na marahil ay tinuluyan ng mga sundalo noon.

You might be wondering why I am here alone. Naroroon pa si Pero sa public restroom, taking Number 2. Paano ba naman, naparami ang kain sa steak house na kinainan namin kanina. Ang sabi niya, mauna na raw ako at magkita na lang kami sa taas. Mukha namang sincere at walang ibang pinaplano na sorpresa kasi pawisan at balisa na ito noong bumaba kami ng Lyft sa Conzelman Road. Unang hinanap agad niya ay restroom.

Anyway, I am so surprised. Hindi ko inakalang ganito ka-breath-taking ang view na ito. It was actually the exact place where Owen Wilson and the gang shot that "drunk app" discovery sa The Internship.

Nang mapalingon ako likuran ko, I saw a familiar face. It was Nazareth, wearing cycling jersey, shorts, at may helmet pa ito.

He looked like he was looking for someone. Ang seryoso ng mukha niya. Para bang he was really longing to meet that person na hinahanap niya. That expression changed when our eyes met.

"Hi, Leaving," bati niya sa akin.

"Sineryoso mo talaga ang sinabi ko, ha," saad ko.

"Syempre naman. Though, I sort of wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge in this viewpoint, too. Ilang beses na akong nakapunta rito pero iba pa rin talaga ang dating sa akin kapag nandito ako," ani Nazareth, saka natutop ang bibig. I can tell how much he marveled at this man-made wonder.

"Agreed," usal ko. For the first time, I did agree with him.

"Leaving, hindi mo pa rin sinasagot ang tanong ko," sabi niya.

"Anong tanong?"

"Have you ever met someone and felt like that person is the one?"

I thought of Pero. No one else. "Feeling ko naman nakita ko na siya," tugon ko.

"Okay, that was the first question. The next one is... Which is more painful: the pain of holding on or the pain of letting go?"

I got confused. "Huh?"

Napakamot si Nazareth. "Ang sabi ko, which is more painful: the pain of holding on or the pain of letting go?"

I heard him the first time, pero sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung ano ang isasagot ko. I mean, I never had that heart-shattering breakup talaga. At huwag ko naman sanang ma-experience.

"No idea," simpleng sagot ko.

Nazareth winced. "Para namang ewan 'to, oh."

Wow. The audacity. "Hindi ko rin kasi alam dahil wala pa naman akong ganyang klaseng experience. So, if you please leave, that'd be great. You're kind of ruining this for me, you know."

With pursed lips, Nazareth left. He jogged on his way down at baka naroroon ang bisikleta niya.

Nang mawala na sa paningin ko si Nazareth, muling rumehistro sa utak ko ang tanong niya. Which is more painful: the pain of holding on or the pain of letting go?

If I were to analyze, ito ang masasabi ko. If you let go of something that brings pain to you, probably that something is essential to you. Puwedeng you cannot exist without that thing. If you hold on into something and that brings pain to you, probably that something is also as equally essential to you. Kasi if you try to remove that pain, a void in you will be left empty. Na para bang may kulang sa 'yo.

Anyway, it's been, what, fifteen minutes at wala pa rin si Pero. I brought my phone out and tried calling him via Messenger. He was not answering, until...

"I've waited all my life to cross this line, to the only thing that's true... So I will not hide, it's time to try anything to be with you... All my life I've waited, this is true..." That I heard, a recorded track from a mobile phone. Syempre, boses ni Pero 'yon. Surprisingly, it wasn't the signature Pero-tune na medyo off-key. Kuhang-kuha niya ang runs ni Ryan Cabrera who originally sang this song.

"Mahal..." Niyakap ko si Pero dahil masyadong overflowing na ang kilig na nararamdaman ko. The Golden Gate Bridge in front of me, a sweet boyfriend who tries his best to sing a song for me, and the life I never expected I'd be happy to have? What more can I ask for?

"I love you, Mahal," bulong niya sa akin.

"I love you, too. Alam mo, nakakahalata na ako, ha. Kada nawawala ka, may surprise ka lagi sa akin."

Napakamot na lang si Pero sa noo. "Mahal, ang hirap mo naman kasi i-surprise. Lagi tayong magkasama. Paano naman ako makakapag-prepare. Kaya 'tong sa sudden moments na lang ako umaaasa. Honestly, alam mo naman na sumakit talaga ang tiyan ko. Totoo 'yon. Pero while I was in the comfort room, napapakanta na lang ako. And I thought of recording you a short song. So, why not?"

"I-play mo nga ulit. Parang may sumamang amoy, eh," biro ko.

"Mahal naman!" natatawang sigaw niya. "Effort na effort ako sa kantang 'yan, ah. 'Di ako pumiyok, tsaka 'di ako sintunado. Kaya ang tagal ko rin, kasi nakailang record ako, eh."

"Thanks, Mahal," I sincerely stated. I held his hand, with fingers intertwined. "I love you. I promise hindi ako bibitiw sa 'yo."

"I love you too and I'll do anything to be with you and for you to not let me go," sabi ni Pero saka hinalikan ang kamay kong nakahawak dito. "Kapit ka lang, Mahal. Malayo pa ang mararating natin. Magiging recording artist din ako balang araw. Gusto mo ba ng live performance?"

Itinuon ko na lang ang sarili ko sa Golden Gate Bridge. 

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