I wish I knew your story. I wish I knew about your upbringing, your supposed brothers you never see, why you never had the typical life...
I wish you didn't have to work for my grandma. My parents say you aren't a slave--and I guess, technically, you aren't. You get paid a good amount by my grandmother to live in her house and do your job.
There's something about it that doesn't sit right with me though.
Why do you spend your afternoon nap sleeping outside like a fucking dog? Why is your bed close enough to be on the floor? Why do you have to use a bathroom that is far away from my grandmother's? Why don't you go to church even though you're religious? Why don't you have a phone? Why do you never (literally never) leave my grandmother's house while she has a shit ton of money doing renovations and "giving money to the church?" What's ironic is that that money isn't even her's while she brags and gets so many awards about how great she is and how she "gives back to the poor" (yet she treats the poor person right next to her like shit????????????????)
I know why...it's because even though you're not technically a slave, my grandma looks down on you and thinks she deserves more respect than you simply because she's affluent. You should have a normal bed not near the ground. You should be able to go to church with my grandma because you live with her and believe in god. you should be able to eat inside with us. you should have a phone because you have a family and you have people (namely me) who want to talk to you and not have to go through my grandmother first.
I was happy to see when I went to India last summer you gave her some sass back! I love that about you. I love that you have your own personality and that you're incredibly hardworking. I really look up to you and value you, even though when I bring up this issue to my dad and other family members, no one seems to care about you. They treat you like you're just a worker and not a person. But that's not right...because you're not JUST a worker. You have been taking care of my grandma for 30+ years AND LIVING IN HER HOUSE/NEVER LEAVING. You are not just a worker--you are truly a family member and I really miss you. I regret not ever really thinking about you during my youth.
When I went to India it was interesting to see what a different lifestyle people seem to have. Life seems less stressful and almost routine. You get up at a super early hour to make my grandmother food. Because I was there, I think you were forced to cook longer (sorry about that!)...you help my grandma take a shower every day around 4 pm. Then you rub bengay on her legs and put her stockings on. After dinner, you sit in the dining room and watch your soap operas. I fucking love that!!
But the whole thing still breaks my heart. Why are you older than my grandma, yet taking care of her like you're the young one?? It doesn't make sense and I know the roots of why you're there stem back from systemic oppression that I, an american girl, don't know how to fix for you.
I just wish more people respected you. I think of you like you're my grandma sometimes because I have never met anyone as pure as you in my life. My real grandma told me I needed jesus when she saw one of my shoulders and kept telling me my hair was ugly (even though I inherited it from her!! fucking classic)
You deserve better than my grandma. And if it wasn't clear, I respect you way more than I respect my grandma. I guess, don't get me wrong, I do love her....but I don't agree with the way she treats you and honestly I'm not a big fan of her personality or values. I've honestly been secretly claiming my middle name is after you and not my grandma...
I asked my dad if we could facetime you but he wouldn't let me because "it would upset my grandmother." It breaks my heart to know I could possibly never see you again...you're not getting any younger and I don't know if I'm going back to India any time soon :(
It also sucks that you don't know english so I can't really communicate any of this to you. I just wish you got better in life because you really deserve it. But who knows...maybe there's a cultural gap as to why my parents claim you're "so happy" while I see the opposite. I wonder if you're happy with this life you have.
I miss and love you.
xoxo,
your "granddaughter"
Annie 💜
