14: Entangled

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Long into the night before her wedding, Satiah found herself wide awake. The moonlight streamed in from the window, casting all of her fears and anxieties in sharp relief. More than anything, Satiah was still haunted by her conversation with the High Priestess earlier in the day. She knew the woman possessed otherworldly powers thanks to her Millennium Item, but there had been something more than just eerie clairvoyance behind Isis's words. She had somehow seen into Satiah's soul — at least, what was left of it — and plucked on strings of pain she didn't even know she had.

It wasn't often Satiah thought about the death of her mother — it was hard to feel sad about the passing of someone she'd never met before. In truth, she knew very little about her mother at all. Just her name — Neferu — and that she had been a noblewoman of Helwan, the city across the Nile from Memphis. She had black hair, and "eyes like emeralds" — at least, according to her father. In her tomb mural, her eyes were painted black.

Metjen had hardly ever spoken about his departed wife when Satiah was growing up. Every once in a while, when he'd had too much to drink, he'd tell stories about her around the fire. Thinking back, Satiah had never enjoyed those tales — she remembered her father speaking in hushed tones with the shine of tears in his eyes. It made her uncomfortable to witness such vulnerability, when in the light of day he was only ever strong and fearless.

But now, on the eve of her wedding, Satiah found herself wanting more than anything for another woman to confide in. With no mother, no sisters, and hardly any female friends, Satiah had never felt truly comfortable expressing her femininity in any meaningful way. In her rebellious adolescence, she'd had a few fatuous flings with boys, but she never found herself dreaming of marriage or motherhood. Her ambitions had always been political in nature, even though she often languished in the shadow of her father and brother. There was once a time, before all the strife arose between Thebes and Memphis, when Satiah had imagined becoming a High Priestess of the royal conclave, serving her king with bravery and loyalty.

Satiah suddenly grew very angry — at the Pharaoh for forging the Millennium Items, at her father for rebelling against him — at the whole world, which had let such injustice spiral out of control and set her down this path which had never been meant for her.

With a sharp exhale, Satiah threw back the covers and stood. She shivered at the cold shock of night air and smooth tiles beneath her feet. Following her instinct, she pulled on a robe and swept toward the door leading to her father's room. She had meant to open it slowly, but in her urgency she pushed hard, causing it to squeak loudly in resistance. From the moon-splashed bed, she saw her father's form first twitch, then surge upward, his eyes squinting through the darkness to where she stood.

"Sati?" he hissed.

When she didn't respond, he scrambled out of bed and rushed to meet her, laying both hands on her shoulders.

"My dear, is something wrong?"

Satiah began to tremble, feeling suddenly very small in his familiar grasp — like she was a little girl again, come to wake her father after a bad dream.

"Father, I don't know if I can do this," she whispered. Her voice was choked by fear, but the anger that still burned in her heart kept the tears at bay. "I don't know how to be a wife — how to be a mother."

Her father's face fell with pity, and Satiah looked away for fear she would burst into tears of shame. "Sati, look at me." He slipped a finger beneath her chin and lifted it back up. "You are so much more than the titles you bear." He smiled, and Satiah felt a breath catch in her throat. "You are smarter than anyone I know, and stronger too. You will not just be a wife, you will be advisor and closest confidant to a prince of Egypt. You will not just be mother to his children, you will raise wise sons and daughters, who will one day rule over the land we call home." His eyes began to shine with pride — something seldom shown to her over the years. "Whatever happens in the coming weeks or months...remember that it will all be temporary. One day, you will go back to Memphis, and she will welcome you with open arms. And I will be there every step of the way."

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