-
After Sebastian's impulsive forgetting of himself, he'd left the hotel with a heavy heart and the start of the alcohol's subtle effects. With nowhere left to turn, he contacted the one person he figured he could speak to- Russell Adams. A man who spoke openly about his troubles with romance, and how he'd become happily married.
"You kissed him?" Russell is wide-eyed after Sebastian conveys his mistake, or rather the one thing he wanted to do again.
They sit in a warm, welcoming ambience of the hotel's bar and restaurant, at a more private area with a round table and plush seats. Waiters, waitresses, and patrons all enjoy the scintillating tones of the soft-jazz being played by a local band. Women dressed in all kinds of attires, from skimpy to moderate and flattering moved to and fro like bees in a colony. The men all had one desire, and that was to either bring home the first person who shows interest, or get drunk enough to forget.
Russell had agreed to meet with Sebastian even though he conveyed very little over the phone, but once they met up, the man finally understood. Sebastian wanted to forget, but it was borrowed into his mind. The liquor had begun to subside, and though he could easily drink enough to forget, he wanted to remain true to his morality. Limiting the amount of alcohol he imbibed, scared he'd become his father, but not opposed to being a well-adjusted adult.
"I assaulted him, that's what I did." Sebastian rolls his eyes and takes a lengthy swig of his beer.
"I don't understand." Russell remarks with a slight shake of his head, and Sebastian find himself rolling his eyes.
"Sexual assault, Russell." Sebastian deadpans.
"Oh, don't get me wrong. I know that much, but what I mean was, why me?" Russell says and Sebastian avoid his gaze, but remains passive.
"What do you mean?" He queries.
Russell chuckles under his breath. "I mean we're barely acquainted. I'm flattered you shared this with me, but I'm not the friendliest guy around." He shrugs and Sebastian chuckles.
Sebastian nods then, realizing what the man was trying to convey. "I don't have many friends." He admits and Russell guffaws.
Russell leans back in his chair, sighing heavily. "Ok, look. When I met Kai, we didn't exactly have the best first impressions of ourselves." He chuckles. "He was reading to our son, Timothy, and I thought it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen in my life, but I couldn't tell him that." He confesses and Sebastian watches him, taking the story in.
"It's never easy to open up about your feelings, and it's not because I'm a black man. That stereotype is a myth."
"But not for men in general," Russell points at Sebastian, who hesitates for a moment then shrugs- silently agreeing. "Honestly, I was intimidated by him, maybe a little jealous."
"Why would you be jealous?"
"He was reading to my son. Something I hadn't done for a while because of how much I was juggling." Russell sips his beer, then leans forward. "Work was a bitch, and then I got mixed up with some.. very unsavory characters."
"Don't tell me you went and got yourself shot?" Sebastian deadpans and Russell laughs out loud.
"I actually did, and it hurt, but Kai was there and stuck around until I messed things up, and not for the better." He sighs, but the sad memory was one he could look back on and consider himself blessed.
"How did you know?" Sebastian asks, his eyes hooded as he shyly gazes at Russell who simply blushes from the memory.
"That I loved him? When he moved a thousand miles away." He laughs, placing his bottle down to twirl his wedding band on his finger.
"Damn," Sebastian laughs despite himself and Russell sucks in a heavy breath. "I'm not saying I'm in love with River-," he starts but Russell interjects.
"But you feel something for him, and that's ok." Russell goads gently then pats Sebastian's right shoulder. "And look, my first kiss with Kai wasn't perfect either."
"How so?" Sebastian raises and eyebrow.
Russell hesitates, but soon sighs. "I called my deceased wife's name." Russell affirms and Sebastian's eyes widen, but he almost sighs in relief. "But answer me this Sebastian," he encourages and Sebastian looks at him with a pout. "Are you attracted to him?"
"I rear-ended him in Manhattan traffic." Sebastian shrugs and Russell nods, but the man seemed a bit confused so he carries on. "Then he showed up to the interview days later, and he blew me away completely." Sebastian smiles, reminiscing of the day just weeks before. "Then I turned him down for the internship because he was ready. Like I thought, he didn't retaliate, he didn't do anything petty, he just let it play out. Maybe I do feel something for him, but kissing him wasn't because of that. I just thought he'd feel less pain if I did."
"What about you?"
"What do you mean?"
"What did you feel after kissing him?" Russell questions.
"I felt comfort." He admits and Russell smirks. "What? What does it mean?"
"It means you either like him, or you're infatuated with him. I say you figure out which it is before you do anything else."
Sebastian raises an eyebrow, conflicted by the man's words, but he slowly comes to terms with them. "Who says I'm going to do anything else?"
"You didn't, but it's clear that you feel something for him. I'm just suggesting that you figure out what it is, and talk to him about it." Russell advises and Sebastian nods reluctantly. "You owe him nothing but your honesty, plus you also owe yourself and your company to be certain before a scandal becomes your reality."
"I'm not trying to spark a scandal. I could take him off the merger and place him where I thought was a good idea at first." Sebastian rubs his chin in contemplation, staring idly at his bottle.
"Where was that?" Russell asks. "If you don't mind me asking, that is." He raises both arms, displaying his understanding.
"River is transgender." Sebastian reveals and Russell's mouth pops open. "I've started a foundation, and I want to him to be the face of it. His role as my assistant is just means to mentor him."
"And why is that?"
"He's smart, altruistic, authentic and real. He hasn't outright told me he was trans, but I'm pretty sure he's aware that I know. He made it clear in his essay."
"You chose interns by using essays?" Russell asks with an excited gleam.
"Yeah, I mean, it's nothing new. They're also chosen by their authenticity. River marched, cooked, and volunteered. Advocated for his fellow family, helping them be proud." Sebastian smiles like an idiot. "He doesn't even mention that. He's all about his numbers, but I see more than potential in him. He has guts, and that interview was proof of this."
"How so?" Russell takes a sip, leaning back to take in the story.
"You're really enjoying this aren't you?" Sebastian accuses and Russell scoffs, but he couldn't hide the smile.
The man shrugs, then laughs boisterously. "Entirely, carry on." He goads with a taunting glance.
Sebastian shakes his head, but decided it best not to show too much emotion. Russell seemed a man to enjoy seeing the agony, all because he'd went through it. Sebastian could hear it in his words, the sadness, the truth, the happiness he was swathed in with abundance after facing adversity.
