1. INDIGO | MXM.

23. I Don't Think I Love You.

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After Sebastian's impulsive forgetting of himself, he'd left the hotel with a heavy heart and the start of the alcohol's subtle effects. With nowhere left to turn, he contacted the one person he figured he could speak to- Russell Adams. A man who spoke openly about his troubles with romance, and how he'd become happily married.

"You kissed him?" Russell is wide-eyed after Sebastian conveys his mistake, or rather the one thing he wanted to do again.

They sit in a warm, welcoming ambience of the hotel's bar and restaurant, at a more private area with a round table and plush seats. Waiters, waitresses, and patrons all enjoy the scintillating tones of the soft-jazz being played by a local band. Women dressed in all kinds of attires, from skimpy to moderate and flattering moved to and fro like bees in a colony. The men all had one desire, and that was to either bring home the first person who shows interest, or get drunk enough to forget.

Russell had agreed to meet with Sebastian even though he conveyed very little over the phone, but once they met up, the man finally understood. Sebastian wanted to forget, but it was borrowed into his mind. The liquor had begun to subside, and though he could easily drink enough to forget, he wanted to remain true to his morality. Limiting the amount of alcohol he imbibed, scared he'd become his father, but not opposed to being a well-adjusted adult.

"I assaulted him, that's what I did." Sebastian rolls his eyes and takes a lengthy swig of his beer.

"I don't understand." Russell remarks with a slight shake of his head, and Sebastian find himself rolling his eyes.

"Sexual assault, Russell." Sebastian deadpans.

"Oh, don't get me wrong. I know that much, but what I mean was, why me?" Russell says and Sebastian avoid his gaze, but remains passive.

"What do you mean?" He queries.

Russell chuckles under his breath. "I mean we're barely acquainted. I'm flattered you shared this with me, but I'm not the friendliest guy around." He shrugs and Sebastian chuckles.

Sebastian nods then, realizing what the man was trying to convey. "I don't have many friends." He admits and Russell guffaws.

Russell leans back in his chair, sighing heavily. "Ok, look. When I met Kai, we didn't exactly have the best first impressions of ourselves." He chuckles. "He was reading to our son, Timothy, and I thought it was the cutest thing I'd ever seen in my life, but I couldn't tell him that." He confesses and Sebastian watches him, taking the story in.

"It's never easy to open up about your feelings, and it's not because I'm a black man. That stereotype is a myth."

"But not for men in general," Russell points at Sebastian, who hesitates for a moment then shrugs- silently agreeing. "Honestly, I was intimidated by him, maybe a little jealous."

"Why would you be jealous?"

"He was reading to my son. Something I hadn't done for a while because of how much I was juggling." Russell sips his beer, then leans forward. "Work was a bitch, and then I got mixed up with some.. very unsavory characters."

"Don't tell me you went and got yourself shot?" Sebastian deadpans and Russell laughs out loud.

"I actually did, and it hurt, but Kai was there and stuck around until I messed things up, and not for the better." He sighs, but the sad memory was one he could look back on and consider himself blessed.

"How did you know?" Sebastian asks, his eyes hooded as he shyly gazes at Russell who simply blushes from the memory.

"That I loved him? When he moved a thousand miles away." He laughs, placing his bottle down to twirl his wedding band on his finger.