full bloom [new cover] [new title] [why don't we?] [complete]

Sunsets with Remus Lupin

Sirius had no idea what compelled Remus to ask him to go watch the sun set. He realized that it was still entirely possible that Remus didn't actually think Sirius was straight. Though, if he thought that, Remus was wrong.. right?

The ride was quiet except the little bit of Taylor Swift that Remus had coursing through the aux.

Sirius would be lying to himself if he said he didn't notice the way Remus' hand lingered between them now- in a way it didn't this morning. He thought about taking it on more than one occasion, but he didn't want to push Remus too far. As much as he wanted show Remus how rewarding physical affection could be, he realized that too much too soon could be harmful.

"I want to ask you a question." Remus said suddenly. They'd been parked at the lookout parking lot for one or two songs so far but until now, no words had been said until now.

"Okay, shoot."

Remus was silent for a bit, "I don't really know how," he admitted sheepishly.

"How to do what?"

"How to ask for what I want."

Sirius' gaze shifted to Remus' hand that was still resting on the center console. Without an ounce of hesitation, Sirius took Remus' hand and pulled it towards him. "I usually just tackle James into a hug when I need a little affection from him," Sirius pressed both of his thumbs into Remus' palm, "and I think my friends at school have gotten pretty used to me just coming up and linking my arm in theirs if we're walking together."

Remus nodded. "Has it always been that easy for you."

"Yeah, I think so." Sirius moved on to massaging the fleshy pads at the base of each finger.

"I think I like it." Remus was perplexed as he watched Sirius' nimble fingers work around his own.

Sirius watched Remus watch him work on his hand, "I really like when people show me that they care about me through physical contact."

"Mhmm," Remus muttered as he looked up and caught Sirius' gaze.

Sirius felt his heart leap in his chest and it honestly wasn't fair that Remus had that effect on him. "Why did you think I was gay?"

"Well, I mean no straight guy has ever been that affectionate with me before, so I figured.."

"But now..?" Sirius baited him in to an answer for his own validation because if someone who was gay said that Sirius wasn't, then surely he wasn't. Right?

"Now that you explained your affection thing to me, I don't think those actions meant what I thought that they did."

Why was Sirius disappointed by that answer? Surely it was what he wanted to hear.

Now Remus took a turn watching Sirius while Sirius focused on the hand he was holding between his own.

"Yeah.." Sirius sighed before he pressed a soft kiss to Remus' palm and released his hand. He leaned his head back into to the head rest and took a moment to appreciate the sun set they'd come here to see in the first place. When he turned his head to speak again, Remus was still watching him.

"Yeah." He held Sirius' level gaze.

Without even realizing that he was doing it, Sirius was leaning towards Remus and Remus was reciprocating.

Just before their lips were about to meant, Remus pulled back which left Sirius falling forward into him.

"Sor-" Sirius offered, but he was quickly cut off as Remus placed a hand under his chin and pulled him back up for a kiss- hard and clumsy. When he felt Remus moving a hand through the hair on the back of his head, Sirius quickly broke it off. "I-I'm sorry Remus. I'm not.. I can't."

"You can't or you won't?"

"Remus.."

Remus nodded and studied his hands.

"Can we just watch the rest of this?"

There was no response, but Sirius heard Remus shift the Jeep into reverse and felt him pull out of the parking lot and Sirius carefully avoided sneaking any looks in the way of his driver.