Complicated

4. I've Been Hurt so I Don't Trust

Part 1

That, right there, is the scariest feeling
Opening and closing up again
I've been hurt so I don't trust
Now here we are, staring at the ceiling.
~8 Letters by Why Don't We

I hesitated, not knowing what to say. Noah's question echoed in my head, making me recall those memories I sworn never to visit again.

*****
(Calista's flashback)

I hugged my arms around Sean's neck, as I smiled widely before he pulled me in for a kiss. It was 19 December, my 15th birthday. And I was spending it with my boyfriend, Sean Faraday.

Honestly, that was the pretty much the highest point of my life. Top of the social ladder, a perfect boyfriend, head of the cheerleading squad. Your typical queen bee, and that was the way I liked it.

Until we played truth or dare at my birthday party. You might be thinking, What harm can a little game do?

Those were the very words I spoke as well, before my life was ruined. For good.

The rules of truth or dare were simple. For truth, just answer questions. For dares, do the stuff they ask you to. If not, drink up.

Everyone gathered in a huge circle, with me sitting next to Sean, of course. My smile widened as I spun the bottle, which would decide who went first. I watched as the bottle spun and spun, before finally landing on Nate, my ex.

Nate winked at me before saying, "Cal, truth or dare." The room hushed down and became silent as everyone looked at me.

"Dare." My voice boomed loud and clear, as I flashed a triumphant grin.

"I dare you to kiss me."

Gasps echoed around the room, and I felt Sean tense and tighten his grip on my hand.

I nodded at Sean, squeezing his hand, reassuring him that nothing would go wrong. Sean sighed and relaxed, then I stood up and walked to where Nate was standing.

"So... Nate..." I spoke softly, not knowing what to say or do.

Shaking my head, my lips were taut as I pulled Nate in. Nate gripped onto me, as his arms snaked around my waist.

I felt him smile against my lips as people started whooping and cheering. I tried to pull back, but Nate was too strong.

He deepened the kiss, and I felt like jelly in his arms as I held the back of his neck, pulling him in. I lost myself, falling deeper and deeper.

This kiss was nothing like how Sean kissed me. Nate's lips were warm and chapped, and the kiss was a little clumsy; but the artlessness was what made it perfect. He tastes like fruit punch...

Nate slid his hands lower and hovered over my ass, close but not quite touching.

And apparently, that was the last straw for Sean.

Sean yanked my arm and pushed me aside, before sending blow after blow at Nate.

I got shoved into the wall, still feeling a little dizzy from what just had happened. Looking up, blood rushed up to my head as I ran in between Sean and Nate, trying to get them both to stop. My shouts and screams were futile as they were lost in the background.

Shouts and cheers filled the air as some encouraged them to continue fighting. Sean pushed me away, not wanting the hurt me. He turned to tell something to me, but was tackled to the ground by Nate.

Everyone crowded in a circle around Sean and Nate, and I was shoved into the crowd. What had happened to my birthday party...

I grasped onto the windowsill, as my head hurt from all the chaos. Not able to take it anymore, I went out of the house for a breather. I sat on Sean's swing, and found a pack of cigarettes nearby. Before I knew what I was doing, I lit one up.

Bringing the cigarette to my mouth, I breathed in deeply, only to find a bitter and disgusting taste fill my mouth. Spitting out the cigarette on instinct, it landed on the grass next to the backyard. I rolled my eyes, silently mocking my stupidity for even lighting the cigarette in the first place.

Standing up to leave, I scoffed at the irony of the situation I was in. Happy Birthday to you, Calista. Happy lonely birthday.

I went back into the house, got my things and sat in Sean's car. I was simply too tired to handle everything.

Suddenly, I heard the distinct crackle of something I never expected to hear. A fire.

I immediately got out of the car, only to be greeted with a flaming patch of grass. And in the middle of it, was the cigarette I smoked earlier.

I blinked, not knowing what to do and fell to the floor. The lack of screaming made me realise that everyone inside had already realised the smoke and left.
But what about Sean... My vision grew blurry as I imagined all the things that could have happened to him.

Tears fell and I sobbed softly. My head started to hurt, from taking in too much smoke, I supposed. By now, half the house was engulfed in flames.

"Cal! Cal, where are you?!" I heard a faint voice, before my world went black.