dont forget me

2

[tw: attempted s*ic**e]

"tadashi, lets talk."

"tadashi, do you have time?"

"tadashi. please answer my texts."

"i'm sorry."

tadashi aimlessly stares at the vibrating phone, whilst watching all the movies he had watched with tsukishima. he was fearfully unable to touch the phone, scared that if he were to read the messages, kei would have already gotten tired and left. left him without remorse.

as he looked at the television which displayed a couple kissing as they finally found love in each other, yamaguchi desired it. he cried. he was frustrated, why wouldn't their relationship turn out like this? people who don't pretend to love each other, was it complicated to understand such a concept? he pondered why people tend to throw their own dignity away, if they wanted people to treat them lovingly.

yamaguchi just looked down in dismay and felt a tightening in his throat. he began tearing up as he looked back at the moments they had spent. from the amusement park, to the lustful night at kei's apartment, he missed the sensation of having tender feelings.  knowing someone already have gave in to you, swore that they would love you till the end, he missed kei.

he knew he was never perfect and tsukishima just pitied the introverted boy. he felt miserable just for confessing on that day during their graduation. he just wanted to disappear, and make tsukishima forget him, so that he can find true happiness, instead of being pinned down by this unmeaningful bond that had no interest in moving forward.

he ruffled his hair and was in deep unstability. he was breaking down and couldn't control all of the despair and disappointment that were spilling out in harsh words, which cursed himself out. he was blaming everything on himself, he felt sorry for not giving tsukishima the freedom he wanted.

and then, he started to hurt himself. at the start, he was always the black sheep of everything. yamaguchi knew he was always lacking and people expected better. and so he did what everyone wanted. this put a smile on everyone's faces, whose questionable trust in tadashi changed into reassured grins. but, tadashi didn't feel it.

it felt fake.

till he found tsukishima, who always treated him better.

as tadashi just sob heavily with a cup full of boost in his hand, he went onto the balcony and looked out to the lit city. it was enough, he had enough.

would things change if i were the one who forgets you?

he thought to himself. as closed his eyes to once again feel the warmth, it wasn't there anymore, so was his heart. it was an empty shell now, and he knew he had to go for it.

to forget the man he loved the most and the man who hurt him the most, he still wished him happiness in a new life, without yamaguchi in his. he stepped over the ledge and sat on it. there, he sat empty-minded and was rationally doing it on impulse. he then pushed himself off, and next, was a fading black.

"tadashi? are you home?" tsukishima knocked on the door. it was silent and made kei worry a bit.

"please, just let me in, we could talk it out.." he pleaded while leaning against the door, hoping for a response.

it was still silent as ever, and it was getting terrifying. after all, it was unusual for yamaguchi to be very quiet after a bad event. he was tensed up and looked around his pockets if he had brought the spare key. kei hoped that yamaguchi was drunk and already asleep, so that he wouldn't make a fuss.

as he walked in, the lights were not on, the apartment yamaguchi owned was in a mess with gusty, cold wind blowing through the opened sliding door. the television was playing the ending of the movie they watched together. he was in shock and was looking around to see tadashi not in any room. it was unsettling.

"tadashi?" tsukishima mumbled as he walked around, inspecting each and every room in the house. still, no sign of him and just empty spaces.

he then looked to the balcony and walked to the previous spot where yamaguchi stood.

"someone just jumped! call the ambulance!"

"sir! do you hear me?!"

"he's losing conciousness!"

kei looked down to the commotion that was surronded with residents, flocking around. then, it struck him.

"yamaguchi.."