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Chapter 19: Detoxifying Boy-Crazy Head

19

Detoxifying Boy-Crazy Head

Nicky was grunting as she faced the mirror. She had thought of tying her long bushy hair in a ponytail or in braid. She did try but some of her stubborn curls would just stick out.

"You could apply some leave-on cream, Nic," Her mother finally suggested after watching her fixing her hair in front of the mirror. They barely talked since that fight they had almost a week ago. Nicky even had already forgotten about it. And as the days passed, and with all that had been going in school, she already didn't mind it anymore. Maybe, even forgave her mother for lying about her father. For now, she was avoiding any conversation with her mother that would lead to that topic, and it seemed her mother was doing the same.

"It still won't do, ma," She replied, scowling at herself in the mirror. Then, she quickly turned to her mother and impatiently said, "Would you just leave me alone, okay?"

"Alright. I'm just trying to help."

Nicky could hear her mother snickering softly. "I gave up!" Nicky then said, her voice getting grouchier. "I know, okay. My hair's ugly and so am I!"

Her mother came up to her and touched her shoulders, massaging them to calm her. "Don't even for a second think that Nic," she said, her voice as soothing as her hands. "You're not ugly, you're beautiful, and don't you ever forget that."

"You just say that 'cause you're my mother."

"And you should believe me 'cause I'm your mother."

"Exactly my point, ma."

"You don't need anyone telling you you're beautiful, Nicky. You're only beautiful as you think."

Nicky sighed. "I know," she replied. "But sometimes, it also helps if others also think so, too. And that should excludes anyone family," she hurriedly added.

Her mother then spurned her around to face her. "Okay, now, spill, Nic. Is this about a boy?"

Nicky immediately looked away. "No," she lied.

"You're blushing. You've got to be crushing on some boy."

"I don't know. Maybe," She replied, her voice low. Then she suddenly looked up. "But you know what, I don't need to change myself for him to notice me, too. I just have to stay the way I am, and if he can't appreciate that, then, I don't care," she reasoned out, her face still scowling. She knew she sounded like a child. And well, she really didn't care.

Her mother was laughing at her, and then said, "But well, it really doesn't hurt if you try to look a little prettier, too."

Nicky already knew what her mother was going to say, but hearing it for real still felt like a blow right to her guts. "Wow, I can't believe this, I was hoping you'd say something more encouraging like, 'you're right, Nicky, you just have to be yourself' and all that."

"Hey, I was trying to be encouraging. And oh, I'd just like to add—aside from trying to look prettier—you should also work on acting a little bit nicer, Nic."

Nicky was raising her brows at her mother. "I can't believe this," she muttered. "Thanks a lot, ma!" She added sardonically. Then, she got her bag and stormed out of the house and headed for school.      

"Take care!" Her mother called after her.

Without looking back, she nodded, waved goodbye, and smiled her lop-sided smile. Her hair, getting bushier by the minute.

English was over. It was lunch break already. How time flew! Nicky felt her heart throbbed beneath her chest. She'd be eating lunch with June at Nang Lita's, Eddie Boy's treat. And for sure, Red would be there, too. As she was already putting her things in her bag, while watching Red in the corner of her eye also doing the same, it hit her. Aside from Red and Eddie Boy, the rest of the class would be there, too. And so would Iggy. And even Lois. She stopped, sat back on her chair and cowered at that thought. They'd probably grill me why I'm there. They'd probably suspect something's going on between Red and me. Or worse, they'd probably throw me away especially that I'm the canteen avid advocate. Oh, shoot!