A Change of Plans

Chapter 7

Ricky pulls me down a now-familiar hallway, towards the small practice rooms. I could feel the tears pressing against the back of my eyes, the burning sensation building in my throat, and it didn't take much for me to finally break down.

"Come on, it's okay." Ricky mumbles as he pulls me into a practice room, shutting the door and sitting me down against the wall. He throws my stuff on the piano bench and sits in front of me, and time stills as I continue to cry. "Fuck, you're getting your lip bad princess, stop that." He says, reaching forward to tug my lip out from under my teeth and his frown only grows when he sees the blood that I've drawn from the intensity of my bite. "Damn." He grumbles before turning around, fishing through his backpack and pulling out a packet of tissues. He grabs a single one, scooting closer to me and pressing it against my bleeding lip as the rest of his palm caresses my cheek. My skin tingles where he touches me and my breathing continues to hitch the more he presses his fingers to my lips, but the steady tears falling from my eyes keep me distracted enough. "It's okay, let it all out." He tells me and I nod, doing just that. I don't care that the person I'm sitting next to is someone I've vowed to hate, I don't care about the growing warmth in my chest from him taking care of me. I just needed to break down.

When my tears begin to come to halt, I lean my head against the wall in defeat, shutting my eyes tightly and wringing my hands together. The room is silent except for Ricky's deep breathing and my sniffling and that alone brings a sort of peace over me as I stay put for a few moments. When I hesitantly open my eyes, I'm met with Ricky's wide, concerned ones and I wipe at my tear-stained face aggressively. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me." I say and his frown only grows. "Do you sleep Nini? Like cut the bullshit, do you actually sleep?" I open and close my mouth and his harsh tone encourages me to tell him the truth. "No. No I don't." I admit quietly and Ricky's facial expression softens just slightly, offering me a nod. "So that explains the meltdown." He says just as quietly and I nod, resting my face in my hands. "It's usually fine, trust me, it is. It's just all a little too much right now." My voice comes out in a whimper, like a child who's on the verge of a tantrum and I can feel myself shaking. Ricky scoots closer to me, this time coming near me by the wall and abandoning his place from in front of me. I know he regards me carefully and keeps his distance, but he reaches out and begins playing with one of my loose shoe laces. It was like he had his own little way of trying to physically comfort me and the warmth in my chest grew just a little more. "Life can be a lot." He answers and I nod, attempting to stop my shaky breathing and calm my shot nerves. "But it'd be a little less of a lot if you told me why I upset you so much." My eyes meet his slowly and I sigh, shaking my head in defiance. "I... I can't-" he cuts me off hostiley, scooting even closer to me so that our legs touch, and sending my mind into confusion on how he could be so comforting and so harsh at the same time. "You fucking can, and you're so on edge right now just because you won't get this shit off your chest. Stop playing this game. Just fucking stop and tell me." My eyes water as I play with my hands nervously, his tone cutting through me like a knife. Part of me is just a little grateful that he sees me as someone who could take his harsh tone though. After all, that's why our relationship is how it is.

"Okay, fine." I decide hesitantly and Ricky's eyes meet mine in shock. "Re...really? Okay." He rubs his palms against his shorts and I bite my lip as I try to collect my thoughts. I couldn't bare this on my chest anymore, it was too much and Ricky would only continue to chase me until he found out. I regard him carefully though as his hand reaches out and his thumb pulls at my bottom lip. "You've done enough damage here for one day." He says, his eyes flickering to my lips for a split second before meeting my eyes. He clears his throat and pulls his hand back. "When you're ready." He says slowly, waiting for me to talk and I nod once more.

"It's a long story. And you play into it obviously, so give me a second to get to it. EJ and I were a part of the incoming freshman group for this dorm last year and he was pulling me around the campus like we were ten." I laugh as I'm brought back into the memory. "It just all felt so exciting because it was like... a dream. I was running around one of the top schools in the country with my childhood best friend. But on the first day, he was asked out by a girl, he was pulled into all of the popular guy groups and he sorta pushed me aside. I know he didn't mean it and I get that change brings that sometimes, but I wasn't ready for it and things just went downhill real quick. So I wanted to start over, make some news friends." I shrug and Ricky nods as I continue. "The second night here, the dorm building was throwing a party." I explain and I see Ricky nodding, his eyebrows knit together as I continued my story. "I remember." He says and I nod, raising my eyebrows. "I figured. Because you and your friends were dancing on the tables when I got there. I decided to leave just as quickly as I had arrived though. It just wasn't my scene. But..." My voice breaks and I play with my hands aggressively. "But before I left, you and your group were 'checking out the selection' of girls and all of you looked at me like, at the exact same time. It was like this weird, unspoken agreement to approach me out of all the girls at the party? I don't really know but I was walking towards the door, and you guys kinda stopped me." Ricky's eyebrows furrow even more and he looks scared. "Please tell me we didn't... I don't remember if we were drunk but... did anything-" I cut him off and shake my head. "No, no nothing like that. But somehow your friends recognized me as the girl with two moms. I don't know how they found out. Maybe you guys saw me on move-in day? Or they saw pictures on my Instagram? But it somehow got around and they knew. One of your friends said I'd be a delicate one, because I had no father figure. You laughed and slapped the dude on the shoulder, AGREEING with him. Your exact words were 'no strength in her' and you walked away. Your buddies laughed and walked off after you." I shrug and look at my lap. "You were the curly-headed dude that added to my defeat on a day that I was already at my lowest." I admit quietly and when Ricky doesn't say anything, I turn to look at him. "So ever since... I've made it a point to be great at everything. The strongest student, practically unbreakable when I'm around you. Because I have something to prove." I finish and the color in Ricky's face has drained and his eyes hold sadness. "I... I don't remember this." He says and I shrug. "I know. I figured." I shrug again and Ricky's eyes glaze over a little. "Fuck how could I-" I cut him off and shake my head. "It's not worth explaining, I don't really want to hear it." I say and he frowns but nods before I turn away. "If it's worth anything, you're the strongest girl I've ever met." He says quietly and my head whips so that our eyes meet again. "I... Thank you." I say and his mouth turns up just a little. And suddenly, his mouth is what I'm focusing on. His lips part as he watches me and I blink rapidly to see if I'm imagining him leaning just a little closer to me. "Wait, this is a very bad idea." I practically whisper, because I know what he's doing, and I know that there's still horrible history between the two of us. There's still fire, and pent up anger and just because we were calm and collected at the moment (probably because of my exhaustion) didn't mean we could chase after a little pure sexual attraction. "Mhm." He mumbles but he doesn't pull away or stop himself and the ball is in my court. My stomach erupts with butterflies and his hand comes up to cradle my cheek before he pushes his long fingers through my hair. "Still bad?" He asks and I shudder, leaning into him a little. "Why are we like this?" I whisper as he finally connects our lips and fuck, kissing Ricky Bowen shouldn't feel this good and it shouldn't fuel the already-lit fire inside of my chest.