wilted flower ─ changlix ✓

fourteen

changbin felt himself grow more tired by the minute, trying to force himself to keep walking. throughout the day, they had paused for only one break, to share a sparse meal of the food looted from the village.

felix had been fatigued the entire day, and had spent most of the day on changbin's back. he had continuously complained, saying it was too much strain for changbin, but changbin was quick to shut him down. felix was injured, and changbin had noticed he seemed more tired due to it.

felix had fallen asleep on his back a while back, and the more worn out changbin got, the heavier he seemed. and yet he didn't want to wake him, because sleep was scarce nowadays.

the sunset was a spectacular burst of blazing reds and oranges in the sky, pale clouds trying and failing to hide the light from shining on the two of them. further up, against the patches of dark sky, stars began to peek out and dot the sky.

despite everything, sunsets never failed to amaze him. to make changbin feel as though part of life could still be beautiful.

as he heard felix's small snores in his ear, and feel the gentle rise and fall of his chest against his back, he couldn't help but chuckle. after all, maybe he didn't need sunsets to know that life was beautiful. not when he had someone like felix in his life.

he nudged felix's face with his shoulder, trying to coax him awake as gently as possible.

"hey, we're going to rest for a little, why don't you get off my back?"

"why don't i get off your back? i didn't think i was that much of a nuisance," felix responded almost immediately, although his voice was husky and gravelly from sleep. changbin felt his face heat up at the effect the sound had on him.

"you know that's not what i meant, lixie. we're stopping here for the night."

felix slowly got off, holding on to changbin as though he was about to fall. "binnie, my legs have fallen asleep, can you carry me?" he said with a pout, looking at changbin. whacking his hand away, changbin walked over and settled him underneath a tree.

"and i haven't been doing that the entire day?" he argued, "surely you can take a few steps."

"god, you really can't take a hint, can you?" felix smirked, flopping down beside changbin. "i wanted to see you use your muscles, binnie."

"you only love me for my body," changbin sighed. he looked at felix, widening his eyes like a puppy and felix only cooed and rested his hand on changbin's cheek,

"you know just as well as me that that's not true."

changbin only grinned, shuffling closer to his warmth as felix draped his arm around his shoulder. feeling felix's fingers trail over his arm, he looked up and was met with felix's lips on his. it was a short kiss, soft and tender, but he couldn't help the way his heart thudded loudly in his chest.

he rested his head in the crook of felix's neck, closing his eyes in happiness at how it seemed to fit perfectly, like a puzzle piece.

it was the small things that made him realize how perfect they were for each other. he felt felix press his lips to the top of his head, and smile against his hair.

"i love you," felix whispered.

if changbin hadn't been so drowsy, he might have heard the strain in felix's voice, or the hiss of pain he let out when adjusting his injured arm around the elder's shoulders.

but he didn't hear those, because sleep grabbed hold of him, coaxing him into that dark space where his senses meant so much less...

what time is it?

changbin rubbed his eyes as the first signs of dawn trickled onto the ground, illuminating everything in a sickly glow. he didn't know when he had fallen asleep, but he could tell that it hadn't been comfortable, judging by the creaks his bones were giving after every movement.

the feeble sunlight did nothing to warm him, but that wasn't what chilled his bones. he could hear soft sniffles coming from nearby, and squinting in the dim light, he realized felix was awake next to him.

"lix?"

jumping in surprise, felix turned to him, his eyes glassy and his face red from crying. his eyes followed the curve of his nose, down past his lips and over the hollow of his neck, enveloping him with his gaze.

"binnie... it hurts..." felix choked out. and changbin felt his heart pick up it's pace, beating with fear. slowly, his eyes fell to the blood soaked bandage tied around felix's arm.

immediately, he wished he hadn't looked.

his heart stopped and he just stared. stared at the sight of the scabbing yellow skin spreading out from under the bandage.

"no," he whispered. he felt his throat closing up with dread, and yet the tears didn't seem to come. he was too shocked to understand. his breath was visible in the chilly air as he let out weak inhales and exhales.

this was why felix had been so tired yesterday. why he had sounded so pained. it had been a warning.

changbin struggled to stop his head from spinning as he scrambled backwards, "no, no, no this can't be happening."

"i'm... so sorry-" felix choked on a sob.

now the tears began collecting. spilling from his eyes, and looking like crystals reflecting in the light. he moved to touch felix, to hold him, to do something.

but felix shuffled backwards, barely able to whisper, "don't... you can't..."

felix was breathing erratically, holding his injured arm close to his chest and looking at changbin.

the miracle they had received of being together was so cruelly ripped from them in the blink of an eye. and so they watched each other, unable to hold one another, unable to feel one another again.

as the two of them stared at one another, they both wept. wept quietly as the sun slowly rose, marking another day of pain. it might as well have decided not to rise, because to changbin, as he looked at felix's infected arm, he realized that he had already lost his sunshine.

there was nothing left for him.

he was simply a lone sunflower, wilting in the absence of its sun.

─ author's note 🌻

hi

─ love from melelel !