Safe Haven

Chapter Six

"Resolve to be Thyself; and know that he who finds himself loses his misery" - Matthew Arnold

After leaving my session with Doctor Keller, I started feeling really weird. She kept telling me how meeting all these people, could be really good for me, and honestly that really scares me. People have expectations, and having expectations leads to being disappointed. What if they all have this 'idea' of who I am and it turns out I'm the complete opposite, won't that just disappoint them? Or what if I start creating ideas of who I think they are and they're not, that would just lead to me being disappointed AGAIN. Getting to know people is really complicated and honestly, it's extremely exhausting. This is all so frustrating. They do seem like really lovely people, but in the back of my mind, I keep thinking what if they have ulterior motives? What if they end up hurting me? Or worse, what if they end up leaving me, like everyone eventually does? I can't help all these thoughts, and it's making me really anxious.

"Oh Sarai! Thank goodness you're here! I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but I have to rush over to Alex' school, apparently he got into some fight and I've been called in. Could you please take care of the Café while I'm out? I know it's a lot to ask but I trust you and I know you'll be able to manage" my boss says as I walk into the little Café I work at. At first I am so confused and I don't really register what she's saying. Soon after she's already out the door it dawns on me that she has left me in charge.

I don't really like one on one encounters with people. Yes, I do realize that my job kind of expects that of me but I have to earn a living somehow. And Kate and her son have been really good to me since I came in asking for a job about two years ago. She's never asked me to take charge while she's out before and I am really terrified. What if I end up messing up orders or logging the wrong information on the computer. Oh gosh, what if a robber comes in and demands I give him all the cash from the cash register. What if he has a gun? I start to panic.

"Ah, so you do work here!"

At first I go into full on panic mode, but then it registers that I do know that voice and somehow I manage to calm down. Keeping my expression emotionless, I turn to face none other than Caleb himself. I am then met with an annoyingly attractive smirk on his flawless face and immediately roll my eyes at him. How is it even possible to be this good looking? Some people are just truly blessed in the looks department.

"Can I help you?" I say in a monotone voice, taking out my notepad and pen from my apron. "I knew I recognized you from somewhere!" Caleb responds energetically, barely even considering the fact that the whole café can hear him. "Shh, could you be any louder!" I scowl at him. He then stretches his mouth into a literal grin. Which honestly is really annoying. It has to be a crime to be this happy and chirpy all the damn time. Ugh, happy people annoy me.

"what? Don't like people looking at you? Scared of attention?" he jokes and actually laughs. For some reason his comment rips at a part of me, and I look down at the floor instead, not wanting him to see that his words actually do hold meaning. "do you want to order something or not? Because I would really like to get back to my other customers." I state coldly to him. He stares at me, as if searching for a sign of me joking around. He blinks rapidly then looks down at the menu which is pasted down on the counter which separates him from me. "I'll have a coffee and two donuts, please." he says in a low tone "chocolate or caramel?" I ask, referring to the donuts. "um, one of each." I nod at his response and go about making his coffee, once I'm done I get two donuts and place them on a white ceramic plate, then place his order in front of him "enjoy, and shout if you need anything." I say and walk off to assist a couple that just came in and are now sat at one of the many tables.