I received a letter again Friday, the next day. This time, it read 'You're all I think about'. I didn't know what to think of that. Was this in fact real? I had thought about the letters a lot before I had fallen asleep last night. I had wondered why it was so hard for me to think those letters were real when I could think James did like me. I had pondered on the thought for a moment and realized James seemed more real.
I could see him, I could hear him and I could touch him. It was more realistic than being liked by someone whose face I couldn't see, who's voice I couldn't hear. At the beginning, I had thought the letters couldn't be true because I was never liked by anyone and I didn't think I could be liked by someone, but James changed everything. For once, I truly thought of myself as the girl who could win a guy like James' heart.
At lunchtime, I decided to put my plan on helping Tyler into action. It was simple, I would bring him to that small park that we always went to when possible. We had spent an unbelievable amount of time there. It had felt like our own hideout, even though it was crowed with other children, we managed to make it feel like we were alone. It was also the place we went when we felt down and I was hoping that visiting it would make Tyler feel better, make him remember all the moments we had spent together.
I had to explain everything to Annie and Cole. They completely understood and wished me luck. Now, I was at the doors leading to our lunchroom, waiting impatiently to see Tyler. I sighed in despair when no other student seemed to be arriving. Where could he be? Did he not eat in the cafeteria? I tried thinking if I had seen him or not in the lunchroom all week. I couldn't seem to remember seeing him. Where could he be then? The last time I saw him was when we both left the bathroom at the same time. Maybe he was at his locker.
I started walking down the hallway, when the fact that I had no idea where his locker could be hit me. What could I do now? I had no idea where he was. This plan was doomed from the beginning anyway. When we encountered yesterday on our way out of the bathrooms, he barely wanted to speak to me, so why would he agree to go to the park with me? An idea, all of a sudden, struck me. He could be in bathroom. It was, after all, where I saw him yesterday.
Without anymore thought to it, I ran through the empty hallways. Every one of my footsteps making the only sounds heard. When I neared the boys' bathroom, I couldn't think of anything else, but to knock. So I did.
"Tyler?"
No reply. I called his name again, but silence was all there was. I pressed my ear to the door to catch any sound coming from the inside. The door flew open, nearly making me fall over. The guy who had opened the door gave me a strange look. I sheepishly smiled, my cheeks warming up. Surely this would happen to me.
"Have you, perhaps, seen a blond guy in there? He's tall and has blue eyes." Unsure of what to say, I asked.
His dark eyes stared at me in the same strange manner. I averted my eyes to the ground.
"Have you?"
He finally said that a guy in the stall that he hadn't seen and that maybe it was him. I nervously asked him if he could ask him to come out and speak to me. The boy let out an exaggerated breath of annoyance and went back inside. He soon came back with Tyler right behind him. The brown eyed guy left before I could even utter a 'thank you'.
"Hey," I greeted Tyler. He responded with a casual 'hey'.
"I wanted to bring you somewhere..."
His brows rose, interest etched over his face. I told him I wanted it to be a surprise and he surprisingly agreed to go with me. We drove silently, the music from the radio floating over the silence. We finally arrived. Tyler looked around, a smile forming on his face, his expression changing into an over-joyful child's one.
"Our hideout," he let out while laughing to himself.
"Let's go," I urged.
And that was when we started recalling all of our past moments together. The good ones, the goofy ones and the adorable ones. In fith grade, we attempted to make a volcano for a school project, but we just ended up causing a big mess in my living room. Oh, how my mom had been furious. Also, every time we slept at each other's houses, we would compete on who could stay up the latest. I always won and he hated that so much that once, he drank five cans of soda. He hadn't slept, he had stomach aches and he overall felt terrible. His parents obviously had no idea until he spent the next day sleeping like there were no tomorrow. His mom had especially been disappointed in him for being so irresponsible.
After a moment of all the laughing and talking, we stopped and sat quietly on a bench, watching the children play around the park we once considered our park.
"She's dead, my mom I mean," he spoke, so casually it seemed like it was ordinary to blurt out that your parent was dead.
My head snapped toward him. His eyes were still glued to the playing children that probably reminded him of us at their age. The word 'sorry' almost escaped my mouth, but I held it back. I had read enough books to know that some people refused to be pitied and by knowing what I knew about Tyler, he most likely was that kind of person. I sighed and looked back at the children. His mother was like a second mother to me. He loved her so much, just the thought of knowing he lost someone like her made me feel like balling my eyes out.
"I had to move back here to live with my dad. They divorced a year ago and he moved back here, by the way," he explained even though I hadn't asked for an explanation.
A soft wind blew, throwing my hair into my face. I didn't bother to push it away. Now, I understood why he looked so different, so gloomy. Now, I understood why he moved in the middle of April when school would be finishing soon, but I had no idea what to do with what I knew. His mother was gone. She would no longer be there to give him warm hugs when he wouldn't feel well. He wouldn't have his mother to tell him how proud she was of him, or to be there when he would marry the woman of his life.
"So, how was school in England."
I thought, maybe if I changed the subject the air wouldn't feel so thick and he wouldn't have to speak about her. He gladly took the opportunity.
"It was nice, I guess. It's a lot different from here. The school system and all. Plus, everyone there has an accent, but to them I have the accent." He laughed lightly. "It was nice, I guess," he repeated.
I nodded. "Did you make friends?"
"Yeah, and they were cool..."
We fell into another silence, the only sounds were the cheerful laughs of the children playing around in the park and the chirps of the birds.
"But they weren't like you," he suddenly added.
I stared at him, blinking, an immediate reaction.
"What do you mean?" I let out shakily for some reason.
His head turned toward me and his eyes bore into mine. A feeling surged within me. I couldn't seem to identify it. I couldn't decipher it as wrong or right.
"Well, you're... you're my best friend Kat, and you've always been. You were always the one to understand me the most. You were always able to cheer me up no matter the mood I was in. You were my true best friend. The only person I could rely on. You make me feel me. The only person I could think of when my mother... left, was you and only you. I would imagine how you would go high and low to get me to smile again. I would imagine you being able to make me smile again. I could never have forgotten you Katherine Rose Goodwin. You've placed a part of yourself in my soul. This is so cheesy, but I really missed you Kat."
