5. how to: ruin your reputation by stating an opinion - a guide by lola blanche

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chapter five: how to: ruin your reputation by stating an opinion – a guide by lola blanche

        "GOOD MORNING, CLASS." MS. GLOVER strode into the classroom the same way she did every day, placing her binder and tote bag on her desk.

        "Good morning, Ms. Glover," Spencer droned mindlessly with the rest of his peers, his hand hovering over his doodle of a ribcage. He pretended he didn't notice the way Lola's eyes flickered towards him periodically, her brow creased in some sort of concern. He didn't understand why she was concerned anyway – he would've thought she'd be used to the way he barely replied to her.

        "I hope you all did your homework this weekend..." she trailed off, digging through a pile of paper from her tote bag. "Today is your test, after all."

        For once, Spencer wasn't nervous when Ms. Glover placed his sheet upside down on his desk. Inhaling deeply, he patiently waited for her to tell them to turn the sheet over.

        "Good luck," Lola whispered to him quietly. He looked to her for a second, her smile small.

        "Thanks," he breathed, his eyes skittering away from her sheepishly.

. . .

        SPENCER PULLED THE ZIPPER OF his hoodie closer to his chin, the early October wind biting at his exposed skin. Soon, it'd be too cold to eat lunch outside and he'd have to sit alone in the cafeteria with the rest of the school.

        The thought made him shiver.

        Apparently he'd be the last one to get the memo, the courtyard quiet without the normal chatter of Lola and her friends. His ham and cheese sandwich was cold. He felt empty, like he was at a loss but didn't know what exactly had gone missing.

            Suddenly the door leading to the courtyard squeaked. It was simply held open for a moment, as if whoever was behind it was contemplating whether or not to step out. Spencer knew immediately it was Lola.

            Finally, she popped her head out. Her short hair was a mess, as if she couldn't stop running her hands through it.

            "Spencer!" she called, waving an arm as if he weren't the only one in the courtyard.

            He looked to his new pair of Vans, figuring she would walk towards him if he didn't answer. He waited for the moment he saw her ballet flats, her shadow, anything that indicated she was standing in front of him.

            Instead, he heard the door squeal as it slammed shut.

. . .

           AIDEN WAS WATCHING SOME CRIME show when Spencer walked through the door, unlacing his shoes. He raised his coffee cup in greeting, barely averting his eyes from the screen.

            Instead of racing upstairs as he normally would've, Spencer dropped his bag on the armchair. Collapsing next to Aiden on the loveseat, he sighed loudly. Immediately, Aiden muted the television.

            "Girl problems?"

            Spencer sighed again instead of answering, glancing up at Aiden. He grinned sympathetically, leaning back in his seat.

            "Been there, done that." He chuckled halfheartedly, causing Spencer to sit up.

            "Really?" Spencer questioned. Aiden nodded, taking a long sip of his coffee before he placed it on the table in front of him.

          

            "I too was straight once." He sighed wistfully, shutting his eyes. His lips curving slightly, he glanced at Spencer. "God, it was difficult."

            Spencer grinned at that, causing Aiden's smile to widen. "Girls are just so unpredictable!" he exclaimed, his arm hanging off the back of the couch. "Once they tell you they love you, you're dead! God, you're gone, especially in high school." He pretended to slit his neck, chuckling at his own joke. "After all those chick flicks and Hollywood's special effects, you'd better be perfect." Spencer was laughing now, the first time he'd done so in what seemed like forever.

            "I mean, apart from all of that though," Aiden started after they'd settled down, his face growing serious. "Ladies were never really my cup of tea, but I'm guessing that all of it is worth it when you really like them." He shrugged.

            "How do you know?" Spencer asked quietly. "That you like them, I mean."

            Suddenly Aiden was laughing, his guffaws echoing throughout the house. Spencer shrunk in his seat, the leather sofa enveloping him. Wiping his misty eyes, Aiden exhaled loudly.

            "Oh Spence," he said, shutting his eyes. He paused for a moment, his face relaxed and wrinkleless before his eyes popped open, his forehead creasing. "What the hell do I know? You just do. It's unpredictable, like the probability of it raining tomorrow or something. It just happens, and then you're stuck. "

. . .

          IT RAINED THE NEXT DAY.

            Spencer watched the drops roll down the window of his second period geography class, wrinkling his nose. A little drizzle wouldn't stop him from eating lunch in the courtyard; no way was he going to sit in the cafeteria if he could prevent it for any longer.

            He sketched on the back of his worksheet instead of doing his work for the rest of the period, shooting out of his seat at the sound of the bell. Bounding towards his locker, he dumped his bag inside and pulled out his plastic wrapped leftover pizza, heading straight towards the courtyard entrance.

            Spencer hadn't realized how short Lola was until she bumped into him, her head barely grazing his shoulder.

            "Sorry," he apologized before realizing who it was, continuing on his way.

            "Spencer?" Lola replied, grabbing his arm to stop him. She hadn't bothered speaking to him in math, so he was surprised to hear her voice.

            "Oh," he said simply, pausing. "Sorry, Lola," he mumbled, pulling his arm from her grasp.

            "Are you... going to eat in the courtyard?" she questioned, her brow quirking. "You know it's raining, right?"

            Spencer nodded once instead of answering, suddenly exhausted.

            "Are you trying to get sick, Spencer? It's windy!" she exclaimed, tugging him in the direction she was going. He followed without argue, exhaling loudly.

            The cafeteria was buzzing, immediately too loud and too crowded. Nearly every table looked full; Spencer doubted they would find a seat. Suddenly Lola was waving over to someone with her free hand and was dragging Spencer behind her as they weaved between people to a table at the back.

            Spencer recognized the girl waving back, her brunette ponytail swaying along with the movement of her hand. All the girls looked to be a variation of one another, all wearing some sort of cardigan and dark skinny jeans, scarves wrapped around their necks despite the heat of many bodies compressed in a small space. Miraculously, there were two free seats.

            "This is Spencer," Lola introduced, slipping in beside him. Her arm was pressed against his, his arm pressed against the girl beside him. He barely smiled, unwrapping his pizza.

            "Is he the guy?" brunette ponytail questioned, raising an eyebrow at Lola. She flushed immediately.

            "Shut up, Ginny!" she exclaimed and everyone giggled except for Spencer. He kept his head bowed and focused on finishing his pizza so he could escape the cafeteria and sit by his locker for the rest of lunch or something. Thankfully, nobody tried including him in their fleeting conversations about their day or crush or whatever else they were talking about. He was almost done his first slice.

            He didn't notice Lola nudge him at first considering her arm was already touching his, though the second time she cleared her throat also. He glanced up at her.

            "Are you mad at me?" He barely made out her saying, the cafeteria drowning out her rushed whisper. He noticed then that she wasn't wearing a cardigan or a scarf, a long-sleeved button up instead hanging off of her body.

            He didn't know. Shoving the crust in his mouth, he shrugged.

            She rolled her eyes at him, the edges of a smile starting on her lips. "Good; I was worried for a second." With that, she turned back towards Ginny. Spencer stared at the side of her head while he finished off his second slice.

            Standing abruptly, he left the cafeteria without another word. He heard the pattering of Lola's feet as she followed behind him, though he didn't turn around.

            "I thought you said you weren't mad!" she called, Spencer almost at his locker. Dialing the combination, he glanced at her over his shoulder.

            "I didn't say anything," he breathed.

            He realized then that he didn't like Lola at all, really. As she stopped and asked what she'd done wrong, pleaded with her tone and groveled with her eyes, he noticed that she was becoming just a little too predictable.


hey guys! hope you enjoyed this (rather quick) installment of lonely eyes; considering last chapter was so good, this one is kinda meh in comparison. did you see what i did there with the whole rain/unpredictable thing though??? v proud of that, tbh.

anyways, song on the side is 'pacifer' by catfish and the bottlemen; if you haven't heard of them, YOU ARE MISSING OUT A LOT WOW THEY ARE MAGNIFICENT and it was realy hard to choose a song to put on the side by them; kathleen, cocoon and fall out are also really good by them. heck, anything is good by them (but pacifer is sorta my current fave).

i really hope you guys liked this chapter! i've already started writing chapter 6, so this is getting updated faster than i'd anticipated?? let me know what you think by commenting/voting/sharing/fanning/doing literally anything, it would be nice to feel the love <3 school in like a day and then exams aka my literal downfall, wish my luck :(

-scar x

This book is kind of keeping me on the edge of my seat. I like that we're seeing Spencer bond with his step-dad and I like that we see him struggle with the whole gay thing and I have a feeling that he's questioning his own sexuality which I think everyone does, sub-conciously or consciously once in their life.

9y ago

A lesson I'd rather not be taught.

9y ago

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