Luxsoka One-Shots

Life's A Mess

Rip Juice 🙏😔

Have you ever fallen head over heels for somebody?
Not just somebody
No, no

Ahsoka, my perfect girl. The girl I had fallen head over heels for. I had not known her long, but I was certain of my feelings for her. She truly was the perfect girl for me.

She was gorgeous, the looks of an angel from heaven; she was easy to talk to, I could joke with her and she wouldn't get mad or offended, I could really be myself around her; we had so many similar interests as well.

Have you fallen head over heels for somebody
That made promises to give you the world? Um
I really hope they held you down
I really hope it was no lying

I didn't realize my feelings for her until we had known each other for a bit already, probably a month into our knowing each other I started to realize my feelings. Soon enough I was over the moon for her.

I told her once that I'd give her the world, she giggled and punched me playfully. I really loved her laugh, her voice, her smile, everything. It was perfect, she was perfect.

'Cause my heart breaks, it feels like the world's gone
But if the love's real, you'd feel your soul roar like a lion
And you'd finally let bygones be bygones

I've experience heart break and fake love before, infatuation or lust if you will, but I knew what I felt for her was real. I had never felt like this towards anyone in my entire life. Just the thought of her sent butterflies through my stomach and put a smile on my face. I knew the love was real this time, I was certain of it.

Don't throw in the towel, I know it feels like you're the only one trying
You just gotta learn to live and love on

My past experiences with girls had been less than ideal to say the least. I had been the only one working towards a relationship, foolishly I might add. It was clear to anyone that they didn't feel the same, but I kept pushing and pushing, praying and hoping.

I thought with her my fortune might chance, but I was hesitant. The last girl I had this kind of relationship with, when I told her how I felt, she didn't feel the same, and our friendship was never the same. I didn't want this to happen with Ahsoka. She was one of the best friends I could've ever asked for, she was always there for me when I needed to talk about something. I couldn't lose our friendship, so I didn't tell her.

I belong with the one put on this Earth for me
Everybody has their someone, just gotta look and see
I'm screaming out, "Lord, help me, I've been lonely"
That's when you accept me, then you set me free

For the longest time I believed she was the one for me, hell I still believe she was the one. The one put in this universe for me, the one I was supposed to be with. I remember laying awake at night thinking about her, and everything that was perfect about her. Her beautiful smile, her voice that seemed to belong to a singer, her laugh that was like a choir of angles singing, everything was just perfect.

But one day, one day it all changed. I was starting to gain the courage and confidence to tell her how I felt, but something happened. Without even saying so much as a goodbye, she was gone. I never knew what happened, but whenever I asked, all I was told was that she was gone. My heart broke that day, and it hasn't been the same since.

Some nights now, I will just lay in bed and think about what could have been if I had told her before she left. Maybe she'd be with me right now, maybe not. Maybe we'd have a long distance relationship from wherever she was at. I just thought about how lonely it was here without her now.

Uh, sometimes life's a mess
I get high when I'm upset
I remember when me and love didn't click
Searching for somethin' real then I found it

My life's been a mess since she left. I drink a lot to help dull the pain and forget about her. It works for the most part, but then I'm right back to square one in the morning.

Love and I didn't seem to get along well until she came into my life, I felt like I had finally found something real, but it was just a dirty rotten trick played on me by the heavens. The beings above brought her into my life just to break me down even further.

I know she's still out there, but I don't know if I'll ever see her again. Maybe I will, if I'm lucky, and our paths will cross. But for now, I'm stuck wondering what could have been.

Okay so sorry if this is really shitty, ik it's definitely very VERY far from my best work. It's 1:30 am and I wrote this in roughly 30 minutes (which is also part of the reason why it's really short). I wanted to write, cuz it takes my mind off of stuff, so I wrote this, so sorry I head to burn ur eyes and mind with this crap but ya.