what could be

2.7 ↠ "holy shit."

Throughout the majority of my life, I had always been the person people came to to talk about their problems. I didn't know if it was just because I was a good listener, because I appeared to have my shit together, because I was just easy to talk to, or just, well... ya know, because.

Either way, it was the one thing I truly loved about myself. I had always thought of myself as someone with a good head on their shoulders, so from my perspective, I tended to give logical advice. It's nice to know that people trust you with their deepest secrets. It's also made me realize that everyone has a crappy life. The people you would least expect to be miserable usually are. Take Layla, for instance. She seems like your typical gorgeous teenage girl: she has numerous boys chasing after her, has a lot of fun, and seems to have the perfect life. While sometimes her life is basically reality TV show quality, other times it's just completely fucked up. We're all humans; we all have shit to deal with. You can judge a person not by the obstacles they've faced in their life, but by the way they tackled and overcame them. That's why I liked Layla, she has a somewhat dramatic life, but always ends up with both feet on the ground. I guess I was like that, too.

Since I was the therapist out of my group of friends, it was still weird to be the "patient" in this situation. I just didn't know how to express my feelings very well. I was one to deal with my emotions on my own, not verbalize them.

"So...?" Layla stared at me with a wide eyed glance, "you're in love with NATE?"

We were sitting on the couch in her "den", aka a spare room that was connected to her garage. We usually hung out in here to have private conversations or blast music since the space was practically soundproof.

I bit my lip awkwardly in an attempt to peel off the little dry flakes, and wrung my hands together. I looked down, there was no way I could look at her. "Idunno, maybe," I mumbled.

Slamming her hands down on the couch, she yelled, "What you you mean 'Idunno"? You HAVE to know, this is Nate Lennon we're talking about!"

Her attitude towards this was really starting to piss me off. Why did she seem so angry about him and I dating? I understood she didn't like his reputation, but being in a relationship with him was my choice, not Layla's. "What the hell is your problem, Lay? He's my boyfriend, and it's my life. I can make whatever choices I want to. As my friend you don't have to like the ones I make, but you do have to respect them."

Her angered expression softened a bit and she sighed. "Ry, I'm sorry. You're just so cute and innocent, I just don't want you to get caught up in a life that's... well... not so cute and innocent."

Still slightly disgusted by her actions, I rolled my eyes, "Layla, I know he parties. I know he drinks, and smokes and has hooked up with soooo many girls and isn't innocent, like at all. I know. Is it kinda gross? Um, duh. But, he respects the fact that I don't do any of that stuff and I believe that he will never, ever force me to do anything I don't want to do. And, if he does, I'll be sure to call you so we can kill him together, got it?"

She laughed, "Okaaaaaay, fine. But, I call chopping his dick off!"

"EW!" I screamed, and whacked her with a pillow, "That's no bueno! Like at all! Can we pleaaaaaase not discuss my boyfriends thingy-doo?"

She laughed, "Well, we kinda have to, considering the fact that you're IN LOVE with him! I never thought I'd see the day that Ryan Montgomery would be in love with a boy!"

"Shut up!" I blushed, "As I said, I don't know if I'm in love with him or not."

She stopped laughing long enough to ask, "Meaning what?"

I sighed, "Meaning, I've never had feelings like this for anyone before, like ever. I feel so safe when I'm around him; like he's my rock. When I look at him, I just feel so happy and giddy and I can see in his eyes that he feels the same way and it's one of the best feelings I've ever experienced in my entire life. He makes me feel like I'm a great person, because I know he thinks I am one. And he doesn't make me feel 'complete' like how most girls say their boyfriends make them feel, he just brings out the best in me and I know that I do the same for him. It's just such an indescribable feeling; like happiness but with a lot more added. Do you have any idea what I'm talking about?"