A Life So Hard (boyxboy)

02. There's No Such Thing As Faith

                   Picture: Liam Hemsworth as Liam Payne

                              Song: Nobody Knows by Pink

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Chapter Two

There's No Such Thing As Faith

Entry #216

Dear Journal,

They say ignorance is bliss......

I believe it.

But there always comes a time when you can't deny your feelings anymore. When you can't hide behind your denial. When all you can do is give in, give into the feelings. To the pain. To the hurt that will surely come. There comes a time when you have to face your worst fears. A time when there is no hope and you have to succumb to the darkness.

All alone.....

- Gio

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I stared at the litter of papers on the little wooden table in front of me.

Bills. Bills. And more bills.

I was laying across my low, broken, sunk-in couch, it was the most comfortable thing ever made, even if it didn't look like much. It had a few blankets draped over it for the nights that I felt lonely and fell asleep in front of the t.v. Which seemed to be happening alot lately.

It had been a really ruff week. Times were tuff, it seemed to be getting harder and harder to make the money to pay the bills. Not to mention it seemed to be getting harder for me to actually talk myself into needing to go to my little corner each evening and spread my legs for some stranger.

Where had my childhood, my youth gone?

Oh right, it was all stolen from me.

I'm such a lost soul, one that's never to be found. I needed an escape, someone or something to save me. Where's my knight and shining armor? Yeah, that's a load of bull crap if i've ever heard it.

I am so sick and tired of being demolished everytime some fat agressive guy wanted to pound into me like I was a rag-doll. I was sick of feeling broken and disgusted with myself, unable to sleep at night because of the guilt eating away inside of me. I didn't want the self hate anymore.

I sighed and made myself more comfortable on the couch. I looked up at the wall to the clock to check the time.

It read 3:27pm.

I closed my eyes, running a hand through my brown hair. I snuggled into the couch deciding to take a nap before I have to get up and be on my way. I closed my eyes, turning on the couch and snuggling deep into it to get comfortable. Please no nightmares was the last thought before sleep invaded me.

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I stood on the street corner shivering from the icy cold wind blowing through the air. I was mentally chiding myself once again for forgetting my jacket at home, I knew I needed to head out. There was no way I could afford to get sick anytime soon with rent needing to be paid along with the up comming bills.

"How's those guys hangin'?" A male voice said from behind me.

I knew that voice anywhere.

I turned around slowly with a huge smile taking over my entire face. I was tugged into a hug by my shoulders, and roughly almost squeezed to death.